Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a prep school and everyone was expected to go to a really good college. A number of my friends ended up in the Ivy League and ALL of them said that the hardest part was getting into the school. None of them worked as hard in college as they did in high school, so you may want to tell him that it's a false choice. I went to a good, but not Ivy-level school and my friends confirmed that I worked harder in college than they did. They got time to pursue life and extracurriculars and got the Ivy diploma.

I am by no means arguing that he should go to a "top" school if he doesn't want to. I'm just saying that the work load if he gets in may surprise him.

My nephew said just the opposite. He graduated Ivy league and said he had to work his butt off. That it was 100x more difficult than high school, and getting in was the easy part. Maintaining his GPA and merit aid was a lot of work.

I question the knowledge of this poster since the Ivys do not give merit aid.

It’s not a bad plan. If he goes to a big, lesser-ranked state school, it will be much less expensive for you all in the long run because tuition is cheaper at those places and they have generous merit aid. They tend to treat high-achieving students quite well, so he could be on some student advisory committees and have more one on one time with professors. If grad school/law school/etc. is in the future, top schools look for students from state universities and consider it a form of diversity. I went to a pretty no-name public and had classmates end up at T25 law schools and big time internships. And if that’s not in the future, that’s fine too - usually a big state university will have a solid alumni network, especially in the area around the college, so his job prospects should be pretty solid too. I’d just advise him to pick a college in a good location near a major city/not a super isolated college town because that will make the internship/job situation much easier.

Anonymous wrote:Good for him, he sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders.

This. OP you are raising a sharp kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of hard to get into schools where the hard part is getting in. There are also easier schools where you have to work to get a decent GPA. Make sure he's not expecting to go to a 'good enough' school, do nothing and then graduate with a great GPA and be handed a job or admission to a graduate school

This is 100% accurate and very important to know. It sounds like he doesn't understand this yet.

Thanks, this is OP. He's in 9th grade and doesn't know anyone in college yet. So you are right. My dilemma is whether or not to keep him in the rigorous courses next year in 10th grade or go ahead and dial back the intensity now. My gut feeling is to leave things unless he raises the issue further.

My oldest is 10th grade, so not much older, but here is my two cents.

As long as he is doing well and not overly stressed out, and has time for the activities he wants to pursue (and I say that all within reason - if he wants to spend all of his post-school day time on extracurriculars and sports and allocates zero time for HW, that's not reasonable no matter what), then I'd keep him in his rigorous course load. This will give him the most future flexibility with college and other choice. He could change a lot between now and fall of 12th grade - he may have totally different college or post-grad aspirations by then. And even if he still wants to pursue colleges that seem "easy" for him to get into, he could be eligible for merit money and scholarships and special programs like honors colleges if he has had strong grades and classes. Also, based on our experience in mcps, the course rigor really dials up in 11th grade not 10th, so he still has time to move off the most rigorous track (my own DC is doing that next year - now in grade 10 and is in the most rigorous courses, but so are lots of other students - in grade 11 DC will take 4 APs which I consider rigorous but some 11th graders are taking 5-6).

Yes. My kid is like this. I think covid is resetting priorities for kids.

Anonymous wrote:I went to a prep school and everyone was expected to go to a really good college. A number of my friends ended up in the Ivy League and ALL of them said that the hardest part was getting into the school. None of them worked as hard in college as they did in high school, so you may want to tell him that it's a false choice. I went to a good, but not Ivy-level school and my friends confirmed that I worked harder in college than they did. They got time to pursue life and extracurriculars and got the Ivy diploma.

I am by no means arguing that he should go to a "top" school if he doesn't want to. I'm just saying that the work load if he gets in may surprise him.

The more the finance of the school relies on tuition (vs endowment) the more grade inflation there is. Half the kids get A these days.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of hard to get into schools where the hard part is getting in. There are also easier schools where you have to work to get a decent GPA. Make sure he's not expecting to go to a 'good enough' school, do nothing and then graduate with a great GPA and be handed a job or admission to a graduate school

This is 100% accurate and very important to know. It sounds like he doesn't understand this yet.

Thanks, this is OP. He's in 9th grade and doesn't know anyone in college yet. So you are right. My dilemma is whether or not to keep him in the rigorous courses next year in 10th grade or go ahead and dial back the intensity now. My gut feeling is to leave things unless he raises the issue further.

OP, your son is still only in 9th grade now. A LOT can change between now and applying to college time.

I applaud your son for having a plan, but that plan can change in his mind tomorrow. If he’s fine with the courses for next year, I’d stay the course. Plus those classes can help with merit aid in college, regardless of the rigor of the school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a prep school and everyone was expected to go to a really good college. A number of my friends ended up in the Ivy League and ALL of them said that the hardest part was getting into the school. None of them worked as hard in college as they did in high school, so you may want to tell him that it's a false choice. I went to a good, but not Ivy-level school and my friends confirmed that I worked harder in college than they did. They got time to pursue life and extracurriculars and got the Ivy diploma.

I am by no means arguing that he should go to a "top" school if he doesn't want to. I'm just saying that the work load if he gets in may surprise him.

My nephew said just the opposite. He graduated Ivy league and said he had to work his butt off. That it was 100x more difficult than high school, and getting in was the easy part. Maintaining his GPA and merit aid was a lot of work.

Ivies do not give merit aid.

this, unless this is some weird Cornell ag school thing that no one knows or cares about

Anonymous wrote:I went to a prep school and everyone was expected to go to a really good college. A number of my friends ended up in the Ivy League and ALL of them said that the hardest part was getting into the school. None of them worked as hard in college as they did in high school, so you may want to tell him that it's a false choice. I went to a good, but not Ivy-level school and my friends confirmed that I worked harder in college than they did. They got time to pursue life and extracurriculars and got the Ivy diploma.

I am by no means arguing that he should go to a "top" school if he doesn't want to. I'm just saying that the work load if he gets in may surprise him.

This. I think his logic is flawed. A lot of the best schools have a lot of grade inflation. Plus, if you want to apply to grad school, going to the best school you can get into helps with that. If you go to a lower ranked school, you actually have to worry more about grades if you want to go to grad school. You have to get a higher GPA at a lower ranked school in order to make up for the fact that you were at a lower ranked school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a prep school and everyone was expected to go to a really good college. A number of my friends ended up in the Ivy League and ALL of them said that the hardest part was getting into the school. None of them worked as hard in college as they did in high school, so you may want to tell him that it's a false choice. I went to a good, but not Ivy-level school and my friends confirmed that I worked harder in college than they did. They got time to pursue life and extracurriculars and got the Ivy diploma.

I am by no means arguing that he should go to a "top" school if he doesn't want to. I'm just saying that the work load if he gets in may surprise him.

My nephew said just the opposite. He graduated Ivy league and said he had to work his butt off. That it was 100x more difficult than high school, and getting in was the easy part. Maintaining his GPA and merit aid was a lot of work.

Ivies do not give merit aid.

That seems like a wise decision to me.

It breaks to heart to see these teens out here basically killing themselves to do it all... keep straight A's, have a job, volunteer, play sports, other extracurriculars, have time with friends & family, etc. only to be disappointed when rejected from their top schools and waitlisted at their safeties.

It's too competitive these days. When kids have to go to school sick because missing just ONE day will set them back a week or more, something needs to change.

My DD will graduate from UVA in a few weeks and she wouldn't make it in now with her stats, imo.

My son's friends (he's only a junior this year) who are seniors and had better stats than her got rejected from UVA, JMU, and VT.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a friend like that in high school. He decided he didn’t want to take AP courses unless the topic interested him, pretty sure the only AP he took was comp sci. His stated goal in life was “to get a job where I work for 8 hours and then I can play video games all night and all weekend.” I was like don’t you want to work hard so you can get an interesting job? And he was like not if it cuts into my video game time.

He ended up going to a state school that a lot of people would look down on here. What does he do for a living now? Designs video games.

you say all this like it's a bad thing. we should all be so lucky that we spend our days doing the thing we love the most.

Au contraire! Now I look back and I’m like dang dude, you were actually a genius. Unlike the rest of us suckers plugging away at homework we hated with the idea that someday we’d get to do what we wanted if we just suffered through enough ap classes. He knew what he wanted to do and he did it regardless of what his parents or the teachers or his guidance counselor told him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of hard to get into schools where the hard part is getting in. There are also easier schools where you have to work to get a decent GPA. Make sure he's not expecting to go to a 'good enough' school, do nothing and then graduate with a great GPA and be handed a job or admission to a graduate school

This is 100% accurate and very important to know. It sounds like he doesn't understand this yet.

Thanks, this is OP. He's in 9th grade and doesn't know anyone in college yet. So you are right. My dilemma is whether or not to keep him in the rigorous courses next year in 10th grade or go ahead and dial back the intensity now. My gut feeling is to leave things unless he raises the issue further.

Your choice of words makes it sound like you feel this is mostly your choice to make for him.

Let him choose OP. He might be hinting he wants to dial back now. He also may be lowering yours and his own expectations so no one is disappointed if he applies and does not get in a top college.

If he's enrolled in challenging classes and isn't trying to get out of them, don't borrow trouble. Let him see how he does in them and figure out what colleges interest him--and what his odds are of getting into them--over the next few years.

Anonymous wrote:I had a friend like that in high school. He decided he didn’t want to take AP courses unless the topic interested him, pretty sure the only AP he took was comp sci. His stated goal in life was “to get a job where I work for 8 hours and then I can play video games all night and all weekend.” I was like don’t you want to work hard so you can get an interesting job? And he was like not if it cuts into my video game time.

He ended up going to a state school that a lot of people would look down on here. What does he do for a living now? Designs video games.

you say all this like it's a bad thing. we should all be so lucky that we spend our days doing the thing we love the most.