Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 14:34     Subject: help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
I would start by not calling it "MY" big 3. HAHAhahahaha
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 14:32     Subject: Re:help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
Anonymous wrote:Tell them not to talk about it - it's a personal journey they are doing for themselves, not to impress their friends or your friends. The goal is a to find a place where they will thrive. There are lots of good schools for different kinds of kids and interests. Also, focus on finding a safety that they love and the rest is easy.


do you really think that any parent paying their first deposit to Sidwell has dreams of their soon to be ninth grader (or kindergartner) thriving at Elon?
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 14:19     Subject: Re:help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
Tell them not to talk about it - it's a personal journey they are doing for themselves, not to impress their friends or your friends. The goal is a to find a place where they will thrive. There are lots of good schools for different kinds of kids and interests. Also, focus on finding a safety that they love and the rest is easy.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 14:17     Subject: help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
OP stop and stop it now.

You are making it way more than it has to be. There is a college for everyone.

it is more important the student knows what they want to major in and which school they can get into that can help them achieve their goal.

College is more about getting out than getting in like a hospital stay.

Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 14:16     Subject: help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:UMC white kids including those at Big 3s can write off the top 25 schools regardless of grades and test scores unless they have developed a cure for cancer or the equivalent or qualified for the Olympics.

Ask me how I know.

So just sit back and let your child find an OK school that resonates with them.


Ok. But where are the kids that want to cure cancera nd have started to learn how to try to do it supposed to go to college if not to a top research institution? what exactly do you propose for the super geeks?


My friends who got Phds in science who I’d describe that way almost all went to LACs. Haverford for instance.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 14:13     Subject: help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:UMC white kids including those at Big 3s can write off the top 25 schools regardless of grades and test scores unless they have developed a cure for cancer or the equivalent or qualified for the Olympics.

Ask me how I know.

So just sit back and let your child find an OK school that resonates with them.


Ok. But where are the kids that want to cure cancera nd have started to learn how to try to do it supposed to go to college if not to a top research institution? what exactly do you propose for the super geeks?


There are plenty of other schools that do great work. In fact, at a smaller, lesser known school your undergraduate will actually be able to do research with faculty, which does not happen as often in the well known research universities because they are usually ranked based on graduate programs and guess who does the research there? If they get a good undergrad foundation, grad school is really where they learn to cure cancer. My freshman has a summer fellowship doing research in a lab at a small, but good, school. I doubt she would have gotten that opportunity at a more brand name research university.


There better be quality undergraduate research opportunities at top schools like MIT etc. because that is what they are selling these kids when they try to get them to commit.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 14:11     Subject: help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:UMC white kids including those at Big 3s can write off the top 25 schools regardless of grades and test scores unless they have developed a cure for cancer or the equivalent or qualified for the Olympics.

Ask me how I know.

So just sit back and let your child find an OK school that resonates with them.


Ok. But where are the kids that want to cure cancera nd have started to learn how to try to do it supposed to go to college if not to a top research institution? what exactly do you propose for the super geeks?


Pitt
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 14:06     Subject: help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
Anonymous wrote:I went to community college and then a state school. Then a 2nd tier law school. I am a partner. One of my partners at the very same law firm went to Duke and Yale. And yet we have gotten to the same place. Where you go to college isn't everything.

You probably had to work much harder in undergrad and law school, while the other partner likely had lots more fun and coasted academically during those years (or at least could afford to do so).
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 14:06     Subject: help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
Anonymous wrote:My DC is at a Big 3 ending 10th about to start the college process. Any advice for staying sane?

He/she has good EC's (one really interesting/unique one that they are genuinely into), good grades but not perfect, lots of rigorous classes, This child will probably have very strong standardised scores. My kid is already worried and stressed out hearing how "Impossible" it is to get into a "good school" from older kids. My husband and I went to Ivy's but know that is probably not in the cards - given how competitive it is now. We want our kid to be happy for the next two years and find the right fit. It all seems so crazy now....Help? Advice? Anything you would have done differently


Make sure your kid understands that the phrase is properly written "My husband and I went to Ivies," so that people will know that he learned something in high school.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 14:06     Subject: Re:help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Start now to reframe the definition of "good school." He does not need to go to the same 10 schools everyone aims for to be a happy, successful person.


Bingo! This is the best advice.


someone who refers to their kid's school as a "Big 3" is probably not going to drop that perspective when it comes to the status of the college their kids attends
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 14:05     Subject: help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:UMC white kids including those at Big 3s can write off the top 25 schools regardless of grades and test scores unless they have developed a cure for cancer or the equivalent or qualified for the Olympics.

Ask me how I know.

So just sit back and let your child find an OK school that resonates with them.


Ok. But where are the kids that want to cure cancera nd have started to learn how to try to do it supposed to go to college if not to a top research institution? what exactly do you propose for the super geeks?


There are plenty of other schools that do great work. In fact, at a smaller, lesser known school your undergraduate will actually be able to do research with faculty, which does not happen as often in the well known research universities because they are usually ranked based on graduate programs and guess who does the research there? If they get a good undergrad foundation, grad school is really where they learn to cure cancer. My freshman has a summer fellowship doing research in a lab at a small, but good, school. I doubt she would have gotten that opportunity at a more brand name research university.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 14:02     Subject: help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
I didn’t do anything. My son did all the work.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 13:53     Subject: Re:help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
Anonymous wrote:Start now to reframe the definition of "good school." He does not need to go to the same 10 schools everyone aims for to be a happy, successful person.


Bingo! This is the best advice.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 13:52     Subject: help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
Anonymous wrote:UMC white kids including those at Big 3s can write off the top 25 schools regardless of grades and test scores unless they have developed a cure for cancer or the equivalent or qualified for the Olympics.

Ask me how I know.

So just sit back and let your child find an OK school that resonates with them.


Ok. But where are the kids that want to cure cancera nd have started to learn how to try to do it supposed to go to college if not to a top research institution? what exactly do you propose for the super geeks?
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2021 13:50     Subject: help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process
UMC white kids including those at Big 3s can write off the top 25 schools regardless of grades and test scores unless they have developed a cure for cancer or the equivalent or qualified for the Olympics.

Ask me how I know.

So just sit back and let your child find an OK school that resonates with them.