Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:43
Subject: Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
So OP dropped a stupid bomb and ran away?
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:41
Subject: Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
If you are not into marriage, I'm sure there are some posts and tweets out there to confirm your bias. Just as there are tweets and posts and research papers to confirm mine.
I make 2x as much as my DH. There are other women at my agency, for we are lowly DC area government workers, who also make more than their husbands.
I married later in life, like many highly educated women, and I can say my life is better/different as a married lady than as a singleton. For one, I'm not looking at every single unmarried man like a prize that I need to try to capture. I am soooooo thankful not to have to date or try to date anymore. Men are idiots. I have my idiot, I don't have to really deal with the rest of them. Actually I have 2 idiots because we have a DS.
Marriage is better because many hands make light work, and we are working together as a team. We share a house we own. I know that our son would be another statistic if his father was not helping me raise DS, bc that kid is two handfuls. Our retirement plans are meshed. Working together we have 0 debt. No credit cards. No HELOCS No car loans. Soon, no mortgage.
I dabble in history, and marriage has improved women's lives for various reasons. For upper class women it has provided connections, sometimes titles, and entry into female social circles closed to spinsters. For various classes it provided children and in-house support for those children who would as adults support the women in their old age. For women in business, the Mrs. provided respectability to clarify what was being sold. If they could get away with it, even single women would add Mrs. to their names, claiming to be widows.
I make 2x as much as my DH. There are other women at my agency, for we are lowly DC area government workers, who also make more than their husbands.
I married later in life, like many highly educated women, and I can say my life is better/different as a married lady than as a singleton. For one, I'm not looking at every single unmarried man like a prize that I need to try to capture. I am soooooo thankful not to have to date or try to date anymore. Men are idiots. I have my idiot, I don't have to really deal with the rest of them. Actually I have 2 idiots because we have a DS.
Marriage is better because many hands make light work, and we are working together as a team. We share a house we own. I know that our son would be another statistic if his father was not helping me raise DS, bc that kid is two handfuls. Our retirement plans are meshed. Working together we have 0 debt. No credit cards. No HELOCS No car loans. Soon, no mortgage.
I dabble in history, and marriage has improved women's lives for various reasons. For upper class women it has provided connections, sometimes titles, and entry into female social circles closed to spinsters. For various classes it provided children and in-house support for those children who would as adults support the women in their old age. For women in business, the Mrs. provided respectability to clarify what was being sold. If they could get away with it, even single women would add Mrs. to their names, claiming to be widows.
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:41
Subject: Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
Marriage for me meant that his I followed his career and I was the back burner even though I was 40% of the income. I could not advance my own career. It was absolutely financially a bad idea for me to marry. I had to leave a job due to geography and could not get back into the workforce at the same level. Lost earnings and retirement over about 3 years is cumulatively a lost $1 millon over 25 years easily.
I'm divorced. I would have been better off remaining single. My sacrifice for a selfish person did not benefit me emotionally or financially.
Marriage benefits women who don't work. For those who work, marriage comes at the cost of the advancement of their own earnings and potential in a lot of cases.
I'm divorced. I would have been better off remaining single. My sacrifice for a selfish person did not benefit me emotionally or financially.
Marriage benefits women who don't work. For those who work, marriage comes at the cost of the advancement of their own earnings and potential in a lot of cases.
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:40
Subject: Re:Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
I'm a lesbian, so one of us married up and the other married down 
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:39
Subject: Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Since the dawn of time women have used marriage to improve their prospects. Even now, it is relatively rare to find a couple where the wife is the higher earner. 95% of women significantly improve their wealth and lifestyle through marriage to a higher status/wealthier man.
Among all of my friends who married, none of them lived nicer lives than they did after marriage. Their husbands are all well to do.
Yes, what's the point? I have a friend who married into a family who's worth $50 million. They're in real estate and own so many properties in the DC area it's crazy. She was living off a $50k salary 12 years ago. Now, she's a SAHM with one kid in a $1.7m house. Her husband makes $400k a year. They have two weekend homes and both drive $50k SUVs.
Lucky her
Only $1.7M?
DP. I'd take it. One kid. 3 houses. Yes, that's that goal for me.
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:39
Subject: Re:Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m actually thinking women have no incentive to get married if they make their own money : who wants to work all day and come home to still take care of the family.
They can marry someone who is an equal partner. Those men do exist.
Not once kids come into the picture. No matter how 'equal' your husband professes to be you'll be doing 80-90% of the emotional, mental, and yes - physical - labor.
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:36
Subject: Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Since the dawn of time women have used marriage to improve their prospects. Even now, it is relatively rare to find a couple where the wife is the higher earner. 95% of women significantly improve their wealth and lifestyle through marriage to a higher status/wealthier man.
Among all of my friends who married, none of them lived nicer lives than they did after marriage. Their husbands are all well to do.
I disagree with the idea that women "improve their prospects" through marriage. In my social circle, there is very little difference in the childhood social status of the husbands and wives. If the wife doesn't make much money, it's because she put her career on the back burner to raise kids NOT because she came into the relationship disadvantaged from an SES standpoint.
Educational and SES sorting pretty thoroughly refute this idea anyway. Like marries like.
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:34
Subject: Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
Anonymous wrote:Since the dawn of time women have used marriage to improve their prospects. Even now, it is relatively rare to find a couple where the wife is the higher earner. 95% of women significantly improve their wealth and lifestyle through marriage to a higher status/wealthier man.
Among all of my friends who married, none of them lived nicer lives than they did after marriage. Their husbands are all well to do.
I disagree with the idea that women "improve their prospects" through marriage. In my social circle, there is very little difference in the childhood social status of the husbands and wives. If the wife doesn't make much money, it's because she put her career on the back burner to raise kids NOT because she came into the relationship disadvantaged from an SES standpoint.
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:31
Subject: Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Since the dawn of time women have used marriage to improve their prospects. Even now, it is relatively rare to find a couple where the wife is the higher earner. 95% of women significantly improve their wealth and lifestyle through marriage to a higher status/wealthier man.
Among all of my friends who married, none of them lived nicer lives than they did after marriage. Their husbands are all well to do.
Yes, what's the point? I have a friend who married into a family who's worth $50 million. They're in real estate and own so many properties in the DC area it's crazy. She was living off a $50k salary 12 years ago. Now, she's a SAHM with one kid in a $1.7m house. Her husband makes $400k a year. They have two weekend homes and both drive $50k SUVs.
Lucky her
Only $1.7M?
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:30
Subject: Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
Anonymous wrote:Since the dawn of time women have used marriage to improve their prospects. Even now, it is relatively rare to find a couple where the wife is the higher earner. 95% of women significantly improve their wealth and lifestyle through marriage to a higher status/wealthier man.
Among all of my friends who married, none of them lived nicer lives than they did after marriage. Their husbands are all well to do.
You are wrong. The majority of my college age friends earn more than their husbands.
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:23
Subject: Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
Woman? Which woman?
Oh, did you mean women? So, you don't understand history, and you can't write. I hope you're very good at math, but I kind of doubt that.
Oh, did you mean women? So, you don't understand history, and you can't write. I hope you're very good at math, but I kind of doubt that.
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:19
Subject: Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
Anonymous wrote:Since the dawn of time women have used marriage to improve their prospects. Even now, it is relatively rare to find a couple where the wife is the higher earner. 95% of women significantly improve their wealth and lifestyle through marriage to a higher status/wealthier man.
Among all of my friends who married, none of them lived nicer lives than they did after marriage. Their husbands are all well to do.
Yes, what's the point? I have a friend who married into a family who's worth $50 million. They're in real estate and own so many properties in the DC area it's crazy. She was living off a $50k salary 12 years ago. Now, she's a SAHM with one kid in a $1.7m house. Her husband makes $400k a year. They have two weekend homes and both drive $50k SUVs.
Lucky her
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:19
Subject: Re:Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
This is not the case for the majority of black and Latina women.
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:17
Subject: Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
Anonymous wrote:Since the dawn of time women have used marriage to improve their prospects. Even now, it is relatively rare to find a couple where the wife is the higher earner. 95% of women significantly improve their wealth and lifestyle through marriage to a higher status/wealthier man.
Among all of my friends who married, none of them lived nicer lives than they did after marriage. Their husbands are all well to do.
[/quote
1 Marriage has not existed since the dawn of time. Read a book or take some classes at a school that's better than the one that accepted you.
2. Marriage/monogamy is a result of religion, it historically benefited men as much (or more) than it has women.
3. I think you dad should have stayed in his clown car, it was bad for society when he and his 19 friends jumped out and honked a horn at your mom.
Anonymous
04/13/2021 17:17
Subject: Re:Tell me I am Wrong: Woman secure resources and financial stability through marriage
Anonymous wrote:I’m actually thinking women have no incentive to get married if they make their own money : who wants to work all day and come home to still take care of the family.
They can marry someone who is an equal partner. Those men do exist.