Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 14:46     Subject: Jealous Moms
I wish I was in a position to help. It's not like we are rich. I offered to babysit but she knows I have an infant to take care of and I work too. The other friend was trying to make me feel better.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 14:45     Subject: Re:Jealous Moms
Saying wonderful things about your own baby is a little like saying wonderful things about yourself. It sounds like bragging.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 14:37     Subject: Re:Jealous Moms
It could be that she became distant due to other issues too. Who knows? Glad you met new moms and made new friends along the way!

For me, I do not get why other moms become jealous and upset if you say wonderful things about your daughter. I think it's wonderful and positive.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 14:37     Subject: Jealous Moms
Anonymous wrote:OP here- no I didn't think it was the "cute" issue but I thought the concept of jealousy was interesting. I am so thrilled to be a mom that what other moms have or don't have really doesn't affect me. I just think it's weird that she became so distant. I do know she has been overwhelmed, money is tight, and has no outside help (I do have help). I am lucky to have met a bunch of new moms and made new friends. Oh well, interesting posts anyway!


Why don't you offer to help her out? I really think it's crappy of you and your other friend to even bring up the issue of jealousy over cuteness when she is obviously dealing with a lot right now. Why don't you try being a good friend and offer to help?

Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 14:16     Subject: Jealous Moms
OP here- no I didn't think it was the "cute" issue but I thought the concept of jealousy was interesting. I am so thrilled to be a mom that what other moms have or don't have really doesn't affect me. I just think it's weird that she became so distant. I do know she has been overwhelmed, money is tight, and has no outside help (I do have help). I am lucky to have met a bunch of new moms and made new friends. Oh well, interesting posts anyway!
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 13:44     Subject: Jealous Moms
Anonymous wrote:The only thing I'm jealous of is skinny moms!


me too!
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 13:43     Subject: Jealous Moms
The only thing I'm jealous of is skinny moms!
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 13:41     Subject: Re:Jealous Moms
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that I have a "dream baby". She's very beautiful, never cries (just for a few seconds if hungry or tired), always smiling and happy, content/alert, walked at 9 months, lots of energy, self entertains, sleeps straight thru the nights, hardly ever fusses or whines, etc....

When I talk "baby talk" to other moms whose babies are the opposite of mine, I can feel the jealousy by their comments or I get ignored. I belonged to an on-line forum and than left due to the negativity and drama and somehow these mothers got a hold of my baby blog and than bashed it on the board! It was out of pure jealousy. Why can't people just be happy for you and your baby instead of getting all worked up and upset because you do not have a difficult baby or the fact that their baby is not as advanced as yours? Every baby is different!!!


Maybe their annoyed by your bragging.. not jealous.


This is a great distinction. I am frequently annoyed when all a parent does is brag about their kids and then proceeds to distract themselves when someone else chimes in. And, if you do brag, tone it down a bit and throw in a little humility....
My Rosie has won 10 beauty pageants, but she still needs her paci at age 4.

I personally only brag to my family because they get as excited as i do.


lol. I was thinking to myself that I throw in too much humility! I'm always saying "oh, but little Susie doesn't sleep well" or "she didn't walk until 14.5 months!" to make up for the comments such as "She's already reading?"
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 13:27     Subject: Re:Jealous Moms
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that I have a "dream baby". She's very beautiful, never cries (just for a few seconds if hungry or tired), always smiling and happy, content/alert, walked at 9 months, lots of energy, self entertains, sleeps straight thru the nights, hardly ever fusses or whines, etc....

When I talk "baby talk" to other moms whose babies are the opposite of mine, I can feel the jealousy by their comments or I get ignored. I belonged to an on-line forum and than left due to the negativity and drama and somehow these mothers got a hold of my baby blog and than bashed it on the board! It was out of pure jealousy. Why can't people just be happy for you and your baby instead of getting all worked up and upset because you do not have a difficult baby or the fact that their baby is not as advanced as yours? Every baby is different!!!


Maybe their annoyed by your bragging.. not jealous.


This is a great distinction. I am frequently annoyed when all a parent does is brag about their kids and then proceeds to distract themselves when someone else chimes in. And, if you do brag, tone it down a bit and throw in a little humility....
My Rosie has won 10 beauty pageants, but she still needs her paci at age 4.

I personally only brag to my family because they get as excited as i do.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 13:20     Subject: Jealous Moms
Anonymous wrote:I get jealous of other kids that are much more outgoing and eager pleasers then my daughter is - sometime I feel that comparison she is a bit of a "dud"... she is really cute and sweet, just into her own thing, and not into preforming for others as expected... so it always seems to let them down a bit. She is wonderful though in her own way, just sometimes when we are with other kids I wish she was more like them... also, one of the reasons why I am going to apply to private school is I know she will not do well on the WSPI test (IQ test), as she will refuse to cooperate with the tester.


I find these kids to be the most interesting!
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 13:11     Subject: Re:Jealous Moms
there is always a lurker that is on the forum just stirring the pot!!!

Leave the mom alone with the "dream baby". I am accused of bragging too when I am actually not. People ask me how my son is doing and I make conversation. I get the same reaction she gets from these other others when we talk about our babies. Sorry I don't have a crier/whiner or difficult baby who hardly ever smiles!!

I am tired of the jealousy and competitiveness. Babies are all unique and different!!!
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 12:55     Subject: Jealous Moms
When I had my first child I was overwhelmed and fearful and felt completely inept. I imagined other mothers had it all together and felt at ease in their new role. Only much later did I discover that so many of these women felt exactly the same way but didn't necessarily talk about it at the time. Those early months can be really tough and people react in different ways. I barely left the house for the first four months! Jealousy would not be anywhere near my first thought about your friend's unavailability. I'm sorry she's not there for you right now, hopefully she'll come around in time.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 12:48     Subject: Re:Jealous Moms
Maybe their annoyed by your bragging.. not jealous.

But I was not bragging. You just had to be there!!!
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 12:47     Subject: Re:Jealous Moms
No, I only talk about my baby when they ask me how my baby is doing. I am almost afraid to say good things about her because I will be accused of bragging or something!!!!
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2008 12:46     Subject: Re:Jealous Moms
to the mom's who wish their babies were cuter -- I've seen very unattractive babies grow up to be stunning adults! Some people think the funnier looking the baby, the more beautiful the adult.