In Texas they say “a grandma in the kitchen, a wh0re in the bedroom”.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Low drama and self-sufficient. I don’t really care if she is financially self-sufficient, that’s not my concern and I wouldn’t mind a full time mom. But, if there are things that are on her plate (we divide things up and she is supposed to gets the taxes together or call a plumber) she does it without bothering me. I will handle the things I’m supposed to do without bothering her. Basically, I want to be married to another grownup.

Np Define "bother". Does it mean not discussing the problem? If so, than you are not ideal at all. I have no problem calling a plumber etc but, nice to talk it over with spouse!

I'm a woman married to a man, but for me for a spouse it means not having to handhold my DH through the whole thing:

"Who should I call"? I don't know, do some research.
"When should he come?" Again, you're handling it -- your schedule. Check the family calendar for any major conflicts.
"He came and he told me this -- does that sound right to you?" I don't know, use your critical thinking skills. I don't know any more about it than you.
"Is this what it should cost?" Ask around, I don't know.

There have been tasks where my DH asks me questions every step of the way so that I think I should have just handled it myself. Sure, if there's a major issue or something tricky, I'm happy to talk it over, but when he doesn't want to do something, he just acts helpless like a robot with no brain where I control all his movements. Take ownership of the task!

Anonymous wrote:Here lies the problem with these lists- men say they want a drama free, self sufficient woman. But these the hot/crazy ratio (the hotter a woman is the crazier she can get away with being) is a real thing. All of these logical wants go out the window for a beautiful woman- she can be crazy, helpless and worthless and her looks make up for that.

And in my experience I’ve found that men can feel very emasculated by a competent woman. Men need to be needed, just like women do. And when you have a woman who can basically do any of the traditionally male tasks what’s left for the man?

The rat traps, dude. I am competent in lots of areas, all most all areas. But NO WAY IN HELL am I dealing with rodents or dead animals in the yard. And car stuff. I can go the the fix it guys and I can inflate my tires, but I so much prefer my DH to do that if it is possible. But I'll repeat, animals in the house, animal traps, animals in the yard (dead or alive) are DH's area. I NEED him to do those things. I become a stupid mess in the face of little mice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- strong leader in career, preferably manager or partner at a top firm
- >200k income
- ivy league degree, preferably grad school
- confident, self-starter, takes control of situations
- high IQ, I like to have intelligent conversations
- doesn't like pedestrian things such as Marvel movies (yuck!), fast food or basic fashion such as GAP
- basically just an elevated, educated, independent, strong, confident domineering woman, yes please!

That income is very low. She should make at least 500k.

I'd prefer at least $15,000,000 in the bank so that she didn't have to work.

Anonymous wrote:Here lies the problem with these lists- men say they want a drama free, self sufficient woman. But these the hot/crazy ratio (the hotter a woman is the crazier she can get away with being) is a real thing. All of these logical wants go out the window for a beautiful woman- she can be crazy, helpless and worthless and her looks make up for that.

And in my experience I’ve found that men can feel very emasculated by a competent woman. Men need to be needed, just like women do. And when you have a woman who can basically do any of the traditionally male tasks what’s left for the man?

These are wish lists.

Everyone, male and female, wants a partner that will meet your needs and fulfill your desires without having any real needs of their own. I do think that you are right that one thing men want/need is to rescue their wives sometimes. But at the same time, they don't want to have to listen to her whine about them forgetting Mother's Day. That's what they mean when they say they want a drama-free, self-sufficient woman who still needs them. It's an impossible, contradictory fantasy, but we all have them about our partners.

Women want a man who is handy, takes charge in difficult situations, and will always come to her rescue. At the same time, she wants him to treat her career and decisions as equal to his own, and respect her ability to do traditional male tasks (when she wants to). It's a fantasy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Should also be able to run a lawn mower without complaining, handle basic household repairs when I’m not around to do them and set a rat trap without drama. You’re not a princess. You can do it!

I can do plenty but if I am setting rat traps we had better be moving, and soon. Rat traps, that is where I draw the line brother.

Ha! Same here. The line is right there between the mouse trap and the rat trap.

Anonymous wrote:- strong leader in career, preferably manager or partner at a top firm
- >200k income
- ivy league degree, preferably grad school
- confident, self-starter, takes control of situations
- high IQ, I like to have intelligent conversations
- doesn't like pedestrian things such as Marvel movies (yuck!), fast food or basic fashion such as GAP
- basically just an elevated, educated, independent, strong, confident domineering woman, yes please!

That income is very low. She should make at least 500k.

Anonymous wrote:- strong leader in career, preferably manager or partner at a top firm
- >200k income
- ivy league degree, preferably grad school
- confident, self-starter, takes control of situations
- high IQ, I like to have intelligent conversations
- doesn't like pedestrian things such as Marvel movies (yuck!), fast food or basic fashion such as GAP
- basically just an elevated, educated, independent, strong, confident domineering woman, yes please!

This is almost me but I have Ivy undergrad and MIT grad degrees and will eat Chipotle or Cava, sorry lol. My husband proposed when I was junior and he was senior (I know, we were both insane), so my income was $30k from internship.

I think this comedy song sums it up pretty well:

"...You want a girl that's nice, a girl that's not
Obsessed with her looks, but is insanely hot
The kind of girl that you can show to your folks
Loves the movies that you like and always laughs at your jokes
A real girl, a hot girl; a really hot girl;
A brand new, really hot, real doll
Wants to impress you, doesn't care if you notice
And only ever uses you to tickle her throat with...

You might think this girl only exists in your mind
But she's real but last week she died

If you want love, lower your expectations a lot
You might think your dick is a gift I promise it's not
If you want love, just pick a girl and love her...

...We all deserve love even on the days when we aren't our best,
Cause we all suck but love can make us suck less"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llGvsgN17CQ

- strong leader in career, preferably manager or partner at a top firm
- >200k income
- ivy league degree, preferably grad school
- confident, self-starter, takes control of situations
- high IQ, I like to have intelligent conversations
- doesn't like pedestrian things such as Marvel movies (yuck!), fast food or basic fashion such as GAP
- basically just an elevated, educated, independent, strong, confident domineering woman, yes please!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- a real, paying career
- funny
- laid back
- open minded
- general concern for her appearance, without always dieting or being controlling with food/sugar/carbs
- wants to spend time together
- a good mom, but not to the detriment of everything else

Sounds just like the ideal husband.

Yes and Yes.

Flexibility and survivor skills. All the other things on these lists can go away, so you should be looking for someone who will adapt and survive with you when things aren't perfect.

Here lies the problem with these lists- men say they want a drama free, self sufficient woman. But these the hot/crazy ratio (the hotter a woman is the crazier she can get away with being) is a real thing. All of these logical wants go out the window for a beautiful woman- she can be crazy, helpless and worthless and her looks make up for that.

And in my experience I’ve found that men can feel very emasculated by a competent woman. Men need to be needed, just like women do. And when you have a woman who can basically do any of the traditionally male tasks what’s left for the man?

Anonymous wrote:Should also be able to run a lawn mower without complaining, handle basic household repairs when I’m not around to do them and set a rat trap without drama. You’re not a princess. You can do it!

Set a rat trap? Definitely not a princess wow

Someone secure enough that they don't ask questions like this. Women are people, not cattle.