Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 20:42     Subject: Re:Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
Anonymous wrote:My grandma forgot to give one of my kids the same monetary gift she gave all the other great grandchildren, and I didn't and never would say anything because the relationship is so, so much more important to me. I would never want to give the impression that our relationship has anything to do with money. The child was too young to know or understand, so that's not an issue.

Who would you say something to? Isn’t the great grandma dead?
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 20:41     Subject: Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
*ripped up
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 20:40     Subject: Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ll be honest, I probably would pull back from my mom if she told me this.
So your mother is only worthy to you if she gives you money?


NP. I wouldn’t pull back due to the money, but the fact it’s really hurtful and freaking weird to make a will and include someone, make a point of telling them, then make a point of telling them you’ve essentially tipped up the will and ddciddd not to have one. It’s cold and inconsiderate. She shouldn’t have said anything at all.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 20:35     Subject: Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
Anonymous wrote:My guess is there is a total jackhole in the family giving her a hard time, preying on her while she’s in Covid isolation. Given her behavior it won’t shock me to find out it’s your sister. She’s probably been asked to change this or explain that or just adjust this a tiiiiny bit and had enough— she’s behind kind not to throw that person, whomever it is, under the bus, but she’s not going to make specific provisions anymore. If she’s intestate your parent who is her child may inherit, do you think they won’t pass anything on to you?


Yes, I was thinking exactly this! OP, do not loose out on Grandma just because of one bad apple making problems for her.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 20:34     Subject: Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
I am confused. Does grandma have a spouse or children? Does she have other grandchildren besides you and your sister? It seems odd to me. Usually the estate gets passed to the children. Why did your grandma plan to give all her money to only you and your sister, and your children? It's odd that she would write your children into her will. Presumably the money she gave to you would be shared with your children in a way you saw fit.

We need more info here, OP.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 20:14     Subject: Re:Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
My grandma forgot to give one of my kids the same monetary gift she gave all the other great grandchildren, and I didn't and never would say anything because the relationship is so, so much more important to me. I would never want to give the impression that our relationship has anything to do with money. The child was too young to know or understand, so that's not an issue.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 20:13     Subject: Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
My guess is there is a total jackhole in the family giving her a hard time, preying on her while she’s in Covid isolation. Given her behavior it won’t shock me to find out it’s your sister. She’s probably been asked to change this or explain that or just adjust this a tiiiiny bit and had enough— she’s behind kind not to throw that person, whomever it is, under the bus, but she’s not going to make specific provisions anymore. If she’s intestate your parent who is her child may inherit, do you think they won’t pass anything on to you?
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 19:57     Subject: Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
I didn't receive anything from any of my grandparents. It never would have occurred to me to have conditioned my love on whether they would leave me anything in their will. OMG.

OP, you are lucky enough to have a living grandmother who has a relationship with your children. I would be so grateful just for that. And here you are, decided to "pull back" on her because she has changed her will? WTAF? Shame on you!
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 19:40     Subject: Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ll be honest, I probably would pull back from my mom if she told me this.
So your mother is only worthy to you if she gives you money?

No. Lots of other issues where I question her love for me. This would be confirmation that she doesn’t.

Wait, is this your mother or your grandmother?

She said mother. It is obviously not the OP, just someone sharing their perspective.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 19:37     Subject: Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ll be honest, I probably would pull back from my mom if she told me this.
So your mother is only worthy to you if she gives you money?

No. Lots of other issues where I question her love for me. This would be confirmation that she doesn’t.


Wait, is this your mother or your grandmother?
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 19:24     Subject: Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She never did the estate planning she said she was planning to do or reversed it?

Or are there other potential heirs like her own kids (which would be one of your parents) and other grand children she didn't want to leave out?

Your sister sounds terrible. (only made effort to stay in good graces for the money?)

OP here. My sister isn’t terrible. We were told of the plans for the estate as they relate to our children and ourselves in early 2019. We’ve had a wonderful relationship with grandma for over three decades before that news.

But yes, it seems she’s changed her will.


That’s very odd. Is she married?
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 19:23     Subject: Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ll be honest, I probably would pull back from my mom if she told me this.
So your mother is only worthy to you if she gives you money?

No. Lots of other issues where I question her love for me. This would be confirmation that she doesn’t.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 19:22     Subject: Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She never did the estate planning she said she was planning to do or reversed it?

Or are there other potential heirs like her own kids (which would be one of your parents) and other grand children she didn't want to leave out?

Your sister sounds terrible. (only made effort to stay in good graces for the money?)

OP here. My sister isn’t terrible. We were told of the plans for the estate as they relate to our children and ourselves in early 2019. We’ve had a wonderful relationship with grandma for over three decades before that news.

But yes, it seems she’s changed her will.

I would still deal with her as if she never said she wasn't leaving you anything. This shouldn't be about money. She's your grandmother. And she might be depressed, or might have a touch of dementia. It starts well before you can recognize obvious signs.

This. And btw OP, your sister IS terrible. She doesn’t want a relationship with your grandmother because she is no longer going to inherit? That’s a terrible person.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 19:20     Subject: Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
Sounds like cognitive decline to me, and you and your sister have abandoned her when she most needs you. B1tches.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2021 19:18     Subject: Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She never did the estate planning she said she was planning to do or reversed it?

Or are there other potential heirs like her own kids (which would be one of your parents) and other grand children she didn't want to leave out?

Your sister sounds terrible. (only made effort to stay in good graces for the money?)

OP here. My sister isn’t terrible. We were told of the plans for the estate as they relate to our children and ourselves in early 2019. We’ve had a wonderful relationship with grandma for over three decades before that news.

But yes, it seems she’s changed her will.


I would still deal with her as if she never said she wasn't leaving you anything. This shouldn't be about money. She's your grandmother. And she might be depressed, or might have a touch of dementia. It starts well before you can recognize obvious signs.