Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:38     Subject: If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
What exactly do you want him to say/ask. It sounds like you're giving one work answers "it was fun" and then expecting him to follow up with "and what was your favorite thing at the museum" you answer without description and expect him to ask another question. This is just weird. Dh and I would both start with "it was fun. I really liked X because Y" and this would naturally lead into another discussion. It's natural and fluid. Not like we are on a job interview, which it seems is how youre setting the stage.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:30     Subject: If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
Anonymous wrote:How much does he ask you about it when you return home?

If DH goes somewhere, I ask him questions about it because I’m genuinely interested.

When I get home, DH might ask how it was, barely listen to the answer, and then move on. He always says about everything “Men don’t ask follow-up questions” but I don’t find this true of many other men.


It depends on what I share. I’m an introvert so my favorite solo outings tend to be opportunities to be contemplative, even if my body is active. It’s harder to share “After hiking for 20 minutes, I came across my grandmother’s favorite flower and spent the next hour thinking about my early childhood with a mixture of joy and sadness.” It’s even harder to ask a follow-up question about that.

On the other hand, if I meet up with friends or do something we both enjoy, he asks a lot of questions.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:25     Subject: If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
Anonymous wrote:How much does he ask you about it when you return home?

If DH goes somewhere, I ask him questions about it because I’m genuinely interested.

When I get home, DH might ask how it was, barely listen to the answer, and then move on. He always says about everything “Men don’t ask follow-up questions” but I don’t find this true of many other men.


Mine would say that he assumed if I had soemthing to tell him I would
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:16     Subject: Re:If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My wife is like you. She wants a full run down of how my day was with my friends. Men don't talk about much, except jokes, sports, attractive women and stories of attractive women they had sex with in the past.


Men like to say this about themselves, but in my experience men won't shut up. "Here's a lengthy explanation of how my brilliant investment strategy works," "I bought a new tool and you need to hear about why it's fascinating," "I really crushed this guy in [some law-firm thing] today," "Let me describe step-by-step this car repair procedure that hasn't been viable since 1988." Then when they get drunk they cry about their daddies.


You must be a woman. Sounds like men mansplaining to you. That sucks. Would be better if they just talked about sports and girls like they do to other men
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 10:05     Subject: Re:If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
Anonymous wrote:My wife is like you. She wants a full run down of how my day was with my friends. Men don't talk about much, except jokes, sports, attractive women and stories of attractive women they had sex with in the past.


Men like to say this about themselves, but in my experience men won't shut up. "Here's a lengthy explanation of how my brilliant investment strategy works," "I bought a new tool and you need to hear about why it's fascinating," "I really crushed this guy in [some law-firm thing] today," "Let me describe step-by-step this car repair procedure that hasn't been viable since 1988." Then when they get drunk they cry about their daddies.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 09:54     Subject: Re:If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
You are normal OP and so is your DH. When I am out with my friends, I always ask them to tell me a couple things about their wives and kids before I leave so I have something to tell my wife we talked about. Otherwise, like PP said, we basically insult each other and talk about hot girls we have had sex with and want to have sex with. Unless there is a crisis no one really talks about their wife or kids
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 09:47     Subject: If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some examples: spending the day on a long bike ride, going to museums with family members, out to lunch with a friend I haven’t seen for a while, spending a weekend somewhere, and going on a business trip (in the old days).


If he's greeting you when you come home and asking a general "How was the museum" or "Did you have fun"'or something,mother he's a polite and caring person. For the business trip, maybe a bigger greeting and an additional "how did your presentation go" or some such. Do you want him to ask you what kind of shampoo the hotel had?

What do you want? Genuinely asking, for the above scenarios: what do you want?

What I want is an interesting back-and-forth discussion. Maybe like I have with my women friends or a couple of my guy friends.


You don't see those people all day every day.

Plus, sorry, your trip to Home Goods just isn't that riveting.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 09:32     Subject: Re:If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
Anonymous wrote:My wife is like you. She wants a full run down of how my day was with my friends. Men don't talk about much, except jokes, sports, attractive women and stories of attractive women they had sex with in the past.

I think this is why my best friend and I always used to wish we were gay. We would have had the perfect marriage
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 09:29     Subject: Re:If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
My wife is like you. She wants a full run down of how my day was with my friends. Men don't talk about much, except jokes, sports, attractive women and stories of attractive women they had sex with in the past.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 09:23     Subject: If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
Dudes don’t ask a lot of questions. If you want to talk about your day, talk about it, but don’t expect him to be all that interested. Is what it is.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 09:12     Subject: Re:If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
Anonymous wrote:OP if this is bothering you, you either have a perfect relationship and this is the only thing you could think of to worry about, or you are seriously needy. I’m a happily married woman and I don’t really give a shit about my DH’s golf game. If he wants to talk about it and I have time, I will happily listen/converse about it but I wouldn’t ask (or ask “follow up” questions, wtf? Didn’t he already ask??) because I don’t care. It seems like you insist he think of and ask a bunch of questions about your personal activities just so that you have the pleasure of telling the story. You also object to him barely listening. I don’t think that’s an expectation that’s “too high,” I think it’s an expectation that’s narcissistic and unfair.

Not doing it just so I’ll have the pleasure of telling the story.

I think slightly needy is closer to the target than narcissistic. That’s a pretty big (and mean) leap.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 09:10     Subject: If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
Anonymous wrote:You clearly don’t have kids.

When you have kids, you will rarely get to do things by yourself. Problem will be solved.

We do have kids. A lot of the activities involve the kids, so he’s not asking them about their day either.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 09:09     Subject: Re:If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
Anonymous wrote:I hope you're not acting like my DH. He'll say, "I saw this cool thing," and then wait for me to ask what the thing was, instead of just telling me.

No, I definitely don’t do that and would find it super annoying!
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 09:08     Subject: Re:If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
I hope you're not acting like my DH. He'll say, "I saw this cool thing," and then wait for me to ask what the thing was, instead of just telling me.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2021 09:07     Subject: If you go somewhere without DH for the afternoon/day...
You clearly don’t have kids.

When you have kids, you will rarely get to do things by yourself. Problem will be solved.