Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a girlfriend who cannot tell the truth. She is also an alcoholic so I think it blurs her reality. Her last boyfriend constantly called her out so of course she dumped him.

Ummm. Why are you still with her? This isn't going to change.

I'm her friend.

My mom does this. Lies all the time about things that are usually harmless, little white lies. Stuff like what she ate for dinner or what the grandkid's said they wanted to read before bed. Then she will literally text or post a photo of dinner (not what she said they ate) or of her reading a bedtime story to the grandkids (totally different story) and every time I am more baffled and irritated. Why lie? Why so clumsily reveal your lies? WHY????

Anonymous wrote:I worked on my own tendency to lie in my 30s. It came from an authoritarian parent who was always in my hair. Telling little lies was the only way I could get some breathing room. It was the fearful response of a child. I worked with someone on my fear and my lying almost disappeared. Not saying this is why your wife does it, but there may be and cause she can work on.

Me also. Not an authoritarian parent, but a very controlling one, who made me feel responsible for their feelings and even their health sometimes through guilt and manipulation.

I have a friend like this— actually one of my oldest and dearest friends. She lies about big and little things, but all the freaking time. Now we live in different cities and don’t see each other, just text. I’ve learned to live with it because I really enjoy being friends with her. It sounds ridiculous but it’s true. I have to imagine her family knows and feels the same.

Anonymous wrote:Does she have a job in sales? The ability to lie and exaggerate is a skill that can be channeled. Think of it as creative storytelling.

Unless she’s lying about things that affect the bottom line of your marriage...fidelity or finances.

FWIW my DH never outright lies to me, but he places more value in what he thinks I want to hear over the actual truth. Not a lie, but he definitely leaves out crucial details that make him look better. Likewise, he doesn’t appreciate that I like (maybe even need) to know and acknowledge the actual truth.

Needless to say I am rubbish as sales, and many other professional settings.

Nope, that's definitely still lying. Lie by omission. He doesn't get out of it on a technicality.

Anonymous wrote:I have a girlfriend who cannot tell the truth. She is also an alcoholic so I think it blurs her reality. Her last boyfriend constantly called her out so of course she dumped him.

Ummm. Why are you still with her? This isn't going to change.

I have a girlfriend who cannot tell the truth. She is also an alcoholic so I think it blurs her reality. Her last boyfriend constantly called her out so of course she dumped him.

I read an interesting article and unfortunately I cannot remember where it was from but the gist was that people lie so much on social media now that their online untruthful personas are overtaking their psyches and causing mental problems.

I think it's a type of mental illness. My exW lied a lot, about so many things. It's one thing when you lie because you feel the need to deliberately deceive someone, or hide the truth for your own reasons. But she told so many small lies it's like every story she ever told me about the past or present was subject to embellishment or just outright re-writing of history. I called her out on it a few times and she got very defensive and angry. It never stopped and eventually, I didn't believe a word she said.

I also had a GF like this in high school. As an example, I remember spending the day with her and coming back to her house. Her mom asked what did we do today and she made up a totally BS story that wasn't necessary at all, but sure sounded like more fun than our actual easy going day. She could have just told her the truth. We had nothing to hide and no reason to deceive her. She would do that all the time and it drove me crazy because now, I'm part of the lie.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is a pathological liar that lies about little stuff and exaggerates a ton. It bothered me a bit in the past but now I’m close to divorce. I’ve confronted her about it and she knows she does it, but somehow it’s a disease. She’s been doing it since she was a kid.

Good news - she can run for President!

Anonymous wrote:She is a pathological liar that lies about little stuff and exaggerates a ton. It bothered me a bit in the past but now I’m close to divorce. I’ve confronted her about it and she knows she does it, but somehow it’s a disease. She’s been doing it since she was a kid.

Good news - she can run for President!

Anonymous wrote:I'm your wife I do it because I find it amusing and it makes things interesting. I enjoy making up stories, people, and scenarios *shrugs*

Not even remotely clever.

Anonymous wrote:I'm your wife I do it because I find it amusing and it makes things interesting. I enjoy making up stories, people, and scenarios *shrugs*

Not normal and a huge character flaw. *shrugs*

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure she is cheating. Liars like that always do.

Children that grow up with alcoholics do both a lot of the time. They learned to lie to cover things from the other parent or the damaged one that told them not to tell mom/dad X,etc. it becomes innate. Adult children of alcoholics.

I’m sure she is cheating. Liars like that always do.