I will help either sex, hold doors whatever. I do not stop to help anyone on the side of the road unless I witnessed it. Then I will stop and make sure they are ok

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I don’t want a man to help me if he wouldn’t do the exact same thing for a man in my situation. I also try to be “chivalrous” and will stop to help people, hold doors open for men and women, etc.

To me it’s less about men helping women, and more about all of us helping each other.

This.

Chivalry as a concept needs to die and be replaced by the idea that all humans should be kind to each other. Gender should be left out of it.

That said, what world am I living in? Women these days don't trust that a man that stops to "help" has their best interest in mind. Women have been victimized in myriad ways by men for so long.

Women who talk about chivalry in 2021 have led privileged lives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I will not stop on the side of the freeway to help. Good way to get #metooed.

I will open the door, or let a woman go ahead of me in line.

I don’t think you understand the #metoo movement. None of it is about heilping people on the side of the road.

I'm a woman and I think his understanding is perfectly fine. A man at my job was just being nice/cordial to a new employee and she accused him of harassment. We all witnessed and that wasn't harassment. There was nothing further behind what everyone in the office witnessed. Being polite is not harassment. Don't know how it worked out, try are both still employed. Everyone was interviewed.

Anonymous wrote:

Please don’t stop and help me. I’ll be in my car with the doors locked waiting for roadside assistance. The last thing I want is a strange man approaching... I would be uncomfortable. Sorry. I know you mean well but keep on driving.


You're smart. Many women have been raped roadside when a man stopped to help.

And there you have it.

Ugh. I (petite white worman) have had so many interactions with "scary" men who were genuinely kind and helpful. Maybe it will come back to bite me some day, but I assume the best in strangers. I've hitch-hiked solo in men's cars, helped/been helped men alone at night (flat tire, need to push a car out of the road, lost, etc.). I trust my spidey sense and it's never done me wrong. Believe it or not, the vast majority of people on this planet (regardless of appearance or demeanor) are not bad people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a man, I’m a woman. From my perch, no, chivalry is not dead.

The thread you’re referring to, that guy has contempt towards his spouse and it is much deeper than a display (or lack) of traditional etiquette.

True, but someone chimed in men haven’t stopped roadside for women with car trouble in decades. Wondering if that is how most feel...

Nope. One comment, anecdotal, just as my experience is. Men have stopped to help me, changed their route to hold doors, walked me to my car far in a parking lot, helped carry cumbersome packages. I’m no damsel in distress either, ever. They’re just gentlemen.

Same. Men being gentlemen. I try to do this for men and women, too. It's about kindness.

Anonymous wrote:S/o of the helpless wife post...

Men: is chivalry and kindness dead? If you see a woman alone outside of her car on the side of the road would you stop and offer help? Do you hold the door open for women regularly or offer to help a women clearly struggling with something?

I would hope that any person struggling man woman child would be offered help. It is called kindness!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a man, I’m a woman. From my perch, no, chivalry is not dead.

The thread you’re referring to, that guy has contempt towards his spouse and it is much deeper than a display (or lack) of traditional etiquette.

True, but someone chimed in men haven’t stopped roadside for women with car trouble in decades. Wondering if that is how most feel...

Nope. One comment, anecdotal, just as my experience is. Men have stopped to help me, changed their route to hold doors, walked me to my car far in a parking lot, helped carry cumbersome packages. I’m no damsel in distress either, ever. They’re just gentlemen.

I agree, I have found many to be helpful and kind. In fact yesterday, at the doctors office a guy opened the door in front of me (he was a bit ahead, but certainly I would have held the door for anyone in back of me). Anyway he opens the doors wide for himself in a sort of angry way and just nearly slams the door in my face. It was so thoughtless and rude (yes he saw me) and such an outlier that I was just sort of left wondering what might be wrong with this person. Which tells me chivalry must not be dead. He was an outlier.

"Chivalry is dead" seems to be a complaint from both men and women that just. won't. die.

People have been saying this since what? Around the 80s?

Thanks, OP. I had been wondering how to get some on the side now that COVID makes it nearly impossible to meet men by chance. I'll just put on a fitted skirt, go get "stalled" on a major highway, some man will stop, I can finally get laid. Yay!

Anonymous wrote:No, I will not stop on the side of the freeway to help. Good way to get #metooed.

I will open the door, or let a woman go ahead of me in line.

I don’t think you understand the #metoo movement. None of it is about helping people on the side of the road.

The assumption today is folks have a cell phone. Maybe call the state police on star 77, but 90%+ of people have a cell phone if only for emergencies.

Woman here. I don’t want a man to help me if he wouldn’t do the exact same thing for a man in my situation. I also try to be “chivalrous” and will stop to help people, hold doors open for men and women, etc.

To me it’s less about men helping women, and more about all of us helping each other.

Anonymous wrote:From knowing my husband, I can definitely say it's not dead. He's held elevator doors, building doors, caught two children (that I've seen) who were running into traffic in busy parking lots, swept our next door neighbor's walkway when she broke her leg, and in general, looks for ways to be helpful. I don't think he would stop for someone on the side of the road, for his own safety.

Smart man. We wouldn’t want him to cross paths with the wrong anonymous and get pepper sprayed or tazed on a 495 shoulder!

From knowing my husband, I can definitely say it's not dead. He's held elevator doors, building doors, caught two children (that I've seen) who were running into traffic in busy parking lots, swept our next door neighbor's walkway when she broke her leg, and in general, looks for ways to be helpful. I don't think he would stop for someone on the side of the road, for his own safety.

Please don’t stop and help me. I’ll be in my car with the doors locked waiting for roadside assistance. The last thing I want is a strange man approaching... I would be uncomfortable. Sorry. I know you mean well but keep on driving.


You're smart. Many women have been raped roadside when a man stopped to help.

And there you have it.