How old were the scientists who reported this?

I also wonder if it’s different for women than men.

For those of you with difficult parents — were they always difficult, or is this something that happened with age? Are you primary caregivers?

At 47, I was 3 years out from a devastating cancer diagnosis and thinking I might just live. My DD was 10, one of the last great years before adolescence. A good year for me. 44 was the nadir.

Must have been some bored scientist to study such a thing.

I am 48 with 9, 7, and 5 year old. 47 was actually a great year, but I haven’t been through the teenage years yet. However, we spent most of our 30s going through fertility treatments and I had a bunch of miscarriages, so 33-38 were just an absolute dumpster fire for me. At the time, it seemed like all my friends were enjoying life with young kids and new adventures and my life was just stuck in a terrible place. I do think that I am now a bit happier than most of my friends now because I still have a lot of parenting firsts left to experience and they are becoming empty nesters. Having been so low, none of the mundane problems of kids and work in my 40s have seemed so bad and I never take the opportunity to spend time with my kids for granted because I had seriously faced what life would be like if I never got to be a parent. I bet 47 was the most unhappy age for those people who followed a typical path and had typical timing of life events. It’s just a matter of aggregate data.

So do people who never have kids never experience that midlife unhappiness dip? That tracks with studies that show that single, childfree women are the happiest demographic of all.

So interesting. 47 was indeed a low point in my life. My oldest hit major adolescent problems that consumed me and my own addiction was becoming more serious. A few years later, my child is thriving and happy and I am in recovery.

I am fifty with a teen and a tween and they are great. DL sucks, but they are lovely. Usual eye rolling, but nothing egregious. Just putting that out there so you don't think it's always a nightmare with teens.

It's the aging/dying parents that have been tough for me.

Dealing with the estate long distance of one parent, while the other deteriorates into dementia.

That coupled with my own health issues has me wiped out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I turned 47 during quarantine so sounds about right! LOL

Me too. That said, I don't have teens. I got off to a late start. So does that mean 50 will suck too (when my first becomes a teen)?

Maybe, because I am the PP and now have a teen and it's absolute hell. Sorry, but it's the truth. Good luck out there.

Anonymous wrote:My SIL died from cancer at 45 so I guess 47 couldn't be the unhappiest age for her. God, these so called 'scientists' better find themselves somerhing useful to occupy their time with.

Scientists should study people who choose to crap on threads with irrelevant baggage. 100% are toxic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious about this impact of teens in the house. I'm early 40s but with a kid who won't be a teenager until I hit 50. And only one. I do anticipate my parents being a nightmare by then (already well on their way) and I can see the conflict over eldercare with my siblings already starting up. I hope I get lucky with my kid!

I'm 55 and have an 18 y.o. senior and 16 y.o. sophomore. I think it depends on the teen. My 18 y.o. really stresses me out and has caused me to be pretty unhappy and anxious (from about 13 y.o. on). She's better now, but it was really hard and still is sort of hard because I have lower-case ptsd--I'm waiting for the next bad thing. I worry that she won't fledge well and fall apart in college, but I don't want her to boomerang home as I can't do it anymore.

The 16 y.o. is really easy and no matter where you put her, she'd survive and figure out how to thrive. I could happily live with her forever but for her sake, she needs to go and explore the world.

I'm sorry - that sounds really rough with the older kid.

Anonymous wrote:Curious about this impact of teens in the house. I'm early 40s but with a kid who won't be a teenager until I hit 50. And only one. I do anticipate my parents being a nightmare by then (already well on their way) and I can see the conflict over eldercare with my siblings already starting up. I hope I get lucky with my kid!

I wonder that too. I'm 47 now and while this year hasn't been any picnic for sure, I was definitely unhappier in my 20s. We don't have kids, though. My parents are getting older and there's been a lot of stress over my mom's health this year, which has been very very hard. But as far as happiness and unhappiness goes, this def wasn't my worst year. (knock wood a million times because at htis age I know it can always get worse)

Anonymous wrote:Curious about this impact of teens in the house. I'm early 40s but with a kid who won't be a teenager until I hit 50. And only one. I do anticipate my parents being a nightmare by then (already well on their way) and I can see the conflict over eldercare with my siblings already starting up. I hope I get lucky with my kid!

I'm 55 and have an 18 y.o. senior and 16 y.o. sophomore. I think it depends on the teen. My 18 y.o. really stresses me out and has caused me to be pretty unhappy and anxious (from about 13 y.o. on). She's better now, but it was really hard and still is sort of hard because I have lower-case ptsd--I'm waiting for the next bad thing. I worry that she won't fledge well and fall apart in college, but I don't want her to boomerang home as I can't do it anymore.

The 16 y.o. is really easy and no matter where you put her, she'd survive and figure out how to thrive. I could happily live with her forever but for her sake, she needs to go and explore the world.

Here is a good article about it. Research shows in most cultures, across all incomes, regardless of circumstances this happiness U-curve happens.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theatlantic.com/amp/article/382235/