Anonymous
03/09/2021 23:09
Subject: Re:How quickly did you start trying again after loss?
So sorry for your loss OP! I have been there and it can feel very dark and lonely.
We experienced a pregnancy loss at 9 weeks (miscarriage took a month to complete; I didn't want a D&C)...Since it was such a long process and I was bleeding randomly and so often, we didn't have sex before I got my period 5 weeks after the miscarriage was identified. I thought I'd want to try before that, but wanting the confirmation of being done miscarrying (aka my period in addition to a blood test) ended up being what I needed to feel like having sex again. We tried while I was ovulating, but at the time we were moving, working, and didn't have childcare...It was insanely stressful and my cycle stretched to 35 days (it's normally 28). I didn't ovulate anywhere close to when I thought I would, which also really stressed me out as I was testing my pee like 8 times a day and getting so angry when it wouldn't show a change. In retrospect, I wish we'd just acknowledged the craziness that we were living in and tabled it for the next cycle (but I felt like I couldn't do that at the time). The next try (so I guess the second cycle after the miscarriage), we tried and I got pregnant.
The moral of all of that ^ to me is that I wish I had given myself more grace after having a miscarriage and not felt like I needed to try on my first cycle. I wanted to have a baby so bad to make up for the loss of my other baby that I couldn't see through the pain, but the strain of trying during a stressful period actually probably was what stopped my husband and I from getting pregnant. I hope that it happens for you and I hope it happens soon. I've gone birth # 1, miscarriage, health pregnancy # 2. Every time I get an ultrasound I hold my breath and tell the technician that I'm so nervous and every time I've heard in reply that miscarriages are so common and that in most cases, having one miscarriage does not mean you will experience subsequent miscarriages. it's hard to believe and it's hard for me to enjoy the process as much with this baby, because I am scared and I have a new perspective on pregnancy, but it is helpful to remember that it's unlikely that you'll experience more than one miscarriage in a row.
We experienced a pregnancy loss at 9 weeks (miscarriage took a month to complete; I didn't want a D&C)...Since it was such a long process and I was bleeding randomly and so often, we didn't have sex before I got my period 5 weeks after the miscarriage was identified. I thought I'd want to try before that, but wanting the confirmation of being done miscarrying (aka my period in addition to a blood test) ended up being what I needed to feel like having sex again. We tried while I was ovulating, but at the time we were moving, working, and didn't have childcare...It was insanely stressful and my cycle stretched to 35 days (it's normally 28). I didn't ovulate anywhere close to when I thought I would, which also really stressed me out as I was testing my pee like 8 times a day and getting so angry when it wouldn't show a change. In retrospect, I wish we'd just acknowledged the craziness that we were living in and tabled it for the next cycle (but I felt like I couldn't do that at the time). The next try (so I guess the second cycle after the miscarriage), we tried and I got pregnant.
The moral of all of that ^ to me is that I wish I had given myself more grace after having a miscarriage and not felt like I needed to try on my first cycle. I wanted to have a baby so bad to make up for the loss of my other baby that I couldn't see through the pain, but the strain of trying during a stressful period actually probably was what stopped my husband and I from getting pregnant. I hope that it happens for you and I hope it happens soon. I've gone birth # 1, miscarriage, health pregnancy # 2. Every time I get an ultrasound I hold my breath and tell the technician that I'm so nervous and every time I've heard in reply that miscarriages are so common and that in most cases, having one miscarriage does not mean you will experience subsequent miscarriages. it's hard to believe and it's hard for me to enjoy the process as much with this baby, because I am scared and I have a new perspective on pregnancy, but it is helpful to remember that it's unlikely that you'll experience more than one miscarriage in a row.
Anonymous
03/07/2021 23:50
Subject: How quickly did you start trying again after loss?
Anonymous wrote:Stillbirth at 40weeks during labor. I got my period back 8 weeks later. I was cleared to start trying at 6 months by the MFM (though they told me I really could try earlier if I wanted). I felt ready emotionally to start at 9 months. We got pregnant the first try. It was a pretty anxious pregnancy.
Oof. So sorry for this, PP. It sounds like your second pregnancy ended out ok, but still — that sounds traumatic and I wish you the best.
Anonymous
03/07/2021 21:48
Subject: How quickly did you start trying again after loss?
Immediate PP. By emotionally ready - and this is just what it meant for me, it's different for everyone - I needed to know that I thought I could still parent without high anxiety at all times, and that emotionally I would be ok if I didn't get pregnant, or worse - it happened again, and I never had children. At 9 months, I felt like I could see happy futures for myself and my partner either way again. But I will also say that my immediate reaction upon hearing my baby had died was that I could never ever be pregnant again - I know some people just want to get pregnant again as soon as possible, and do, and are happy with that decision.