Anonymous wrote:You should not have had children if you can't take care of them. Hire a sitter. I had a friend when I was 12 and she was always babysitting for her lazy, cheap mother.

Childen should have household chores, e.g., washing dishes, setting table, folding clothes but never taking care of, and being responsible, for younger siblings.

+1

You should not have had children if you can't take care of them. Hire a sitter. I had a friend when I was 12 and she was always babysitting for her lazy, cheap mother.

Childen should have household chores, e.g., washing dishes, setting table, folding clothes but never taking care of, and being responsible, for younger siblings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

OP here. That's insane to me. We're a family. We take care of each other, and that's how it's been done for eons. You may disagree but that is not how we will be doing it in this household. Our children have responsibilities just like we do. And to be honest, I don't want to be near kids who don't learn early on that we take care of each other. Appreciate your comments but that is not what I'm debating here. It's only the age that is in question.

Will your younger children be cleaning the house(or the first born’s room) while the older one babysits?

They all clean the house anyway so I don't need to set aside a special time for that. And no, each child is responsible for his/her own room. And no, I do not assume that the youngest is capable of the same tasks as the oldest. Why on Earth would I assume that?

It was a rhetorical question. Your younger children are obviously getting special treatment. It’s an “Everybody hates Chris” shit.

Clearly. Oh, well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

OP here. That's insane to me. We're a family. We take care of each other, and that's how it's been done for eons. You may disagree but that is not how we will be doing it in this household. Our children have responsibilities just like we do. And to be honest, I don't want to be near kids who don't learn early on that we take care of each other. Appreciate your comments but that is not what I'm debating here. It's only the age that is in question.

Will your younger children be cleaning the house(or the first born’s room) while the older one babysits?

They all clean the house anyway so I don't need to set aside a special time for that. And no, each child is responsible for his/her own room. And no, I do not assume that the youngest is capable of the same tasks as the oldest. Why on Earth would I assume that?

It was a rhetorical question. Your younger children are obviously getting special treatment. It’s an “Everybody hates Chris” shit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

OP here. That's insane to me. We're a family. We take care of each other, and that's how it's been done for eons. You may disagree but that is not how we will be doing it in this household. Our children have responsibilities just like we do. And to be honest, I don't want to be near kids who don't learn early on that we take care of each other. Appreciate your comments but that is not what I'm debating here. It's only the age that is in question.

Will your younger children be cleaning the house(or the first born’s room) while the older one babysits?

They all clean the house anyway so I don't need to set aside a special time for that. And no, each child is responsible for his/her own room. And no, I do not assume that the youngest is capable of the same tasks as the oldest. Why on Earth would I assume that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

OP here. That's insane to me. We're a family. We take care of each other, and that's how it's been done for eons. You may disagree but that is not how we will be doing it in this household. Our children have responsibilities just like we do. And to be honest, I don't want to be near kids who don't learn early on that we take care of each other. Appreciate your comments but that is not what I'm debating here. It's only the age that is in question.

Will your younger children be cleaning the house(or the first born’s room) while the older one babysits?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a difference between allowing your kids to stay home instead of being carted around to the other sibling's practices, and making it so your oldest child is not allowed to do any activities of their own because they are babysitting your kids.

Yeah the former is a privilege and the older kid would likely see it that way. Going to my sibling's games was HELL

OP here, that is exactly it. I'm trying to keep from schlepping all three kids to practice. The oldest does not want to go because she hates sitting in traffic and waiting at the fields. She'd rather be at home with her sister watching TV. So, if she's old enough, I'll leave her at home so that she can hang out and watch TV with her K sister. When I told her that there was a potential that they could stay home tonight while I went alone with child #2 to practice, they leapt for joy. The idea that I cannot ask my oldest to stay at home while I cart #2 around is very strange to me. Oldest has her own practice days and she goes to those alone with DH. This isn't servitude. I'm asking them to stay home and watch TV. And she's not getting paid for that.

Anonymous wrote:There is a difference between allowing your kids to stay home instead of being carted around to the other sibling's practices, and making it so your oldest child is not allowed to do any activities of their own because they are babysitting your kids.

+1

THis isn't the Duggar Family.

OP is talking about running an errand or picking up a kid from Sports. Leaving the kids home alone for the 20 min it takes for the round-trip is fine. And half the time, the kids don't even realize you left/came back.

Try it out 1x/2x OP. You'll see.

Anonymous wrote:There is a difference between allowing your kids to stay home instead of being carted around to the other sibling's practices, and making it so your oldest child is not allowed to do any activities of their own because they are babysitting your kids.

Yeah the former is a privilege and the older kid would likely see it that way. Going to my sibling's games was HELL

There is a difference between allowing your kids to stay home instead of being carted around to the other sibling's practices, and making it so your oldest child is not allowed to do any activities of their own because they are babysitting your kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

Is this cultural? I read this response to my DH who is not American and he just looked at me like I was crazy.

I think it's generational and cultural. No way any of the generations pre-millennial would have this mindset. I think that it also may slant hyper-liberal. I am liberal but definitely not super far left. And my DH is also not from the US and was floored at this response. To each his own, but we definitely won't be implementing this policy in our household.

There's more awareness around how gendered this is, with daughters being asked to contribute more in terms of housework and child care than sons. And requiring significant time away from studies/extracurriculars has a bigger impact educationally/career-wise than it did a generation ago, as things have gotten more competitive and the payoffs higher. I don't think this is a reason to not ask your 12-year-old to babysitter for a few hours. But it is important to me that my daughter not miss out on educational opportunities because of household obligations in a way that would not have occurred to my grandmother to think about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

Is this cultural? I read this response to my DH who is not American and he just looked at me like I was crazy.

I think it's generational and cultural. No way any of the generations pre-millennial would have this mindset. I think that it also may slant hyper-liberal. I am liberal but definitely not super far left. And my DH is also not from the US and was floored at this response. To each his own, but we definitely won't be implementing this policy in our household.

NP I'm a millennial and was 9 years older than my sister. I babysat A LOT and loved it, from probably 11 years old. My family was good to me and it was something easy I could do for them. Babysitting didn't involve much work... we watched TV or my sister played. Mom would go shopping (which we hated), training classes for her license, or out to dinner with dad. Babysitting other people's kids was a lot of work and was usually on Fri/Sat nights when I wanted to be with my friends at sleepovers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

Is this cultural? I read this response to my DH who is not American and he just looked at me like I was crazy.

I think it's generational and cultural. No way any of the generations pre-millennial would have this mindset. I think that it also may slant hyper-liberal. I am liberal but definitely not super far left. And my DH is also not from the US and was floored at this response. To each his own, but we definitely won't be implementing this policy in our household.

Anonymous wrote:Legally, in Maryland, kids can babysit from age 12 up and can be alone from age 8 up.

So, when my kids were 8 and 11, I technically was "leaving them both home alone" but when the older one turned 12, I could say she was babysitting her sister.

But, there is time limit .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids - K, 4th and 6th. All three have sports and DH will usually just pick up one for practice while others stay home. Sometimes I have to do it and lug all three. And what age is it appropriate for oldest to stay home and watch youngest? Our oldest will be 7th next year. She's mature for her age and definitely our responsible one, though we've yet to leave her at home yet. I'm looking forward to a day when I'm not dragging everyone out together.

NEVER! Siblings are not their children and should not be giving you free childcare of any kind. The only way to ask them is to offer them to pay them the same hourly rate as you would pay any other sitter.

Is this cultural? I read this response to my DH who is not American and he just looked at me like I was crazy.

DP. No. I’m a foreigner and agree that it’s wrong to take advantage of your older kids.