I’m pretty and fun-loving and met my husband when I was chubby (5’8” 182) but definitely got way more male attention when I was under 167. Those extra 15 lbs made a huge difference in the way I was perceived by men. Now am middle aged and 150 and nobody wants to date me - hah!

Every overweight person I know, from "chubby" to very large is married, in a serious relationship or has been. Most of the population is some degree of overweight- there are a lot of people to match with with at every weight.

If you are obese, you probably aren't going to marry the Ken doll look-a-like who's rich too...but you'll find someone.

Anonymous wrote:Or does your husband or other men still find you attractive?

Your thread subject asks an entirely different question versus the original post itself. There are 2 kinds of men: those who are attracted (or don't mind) chubby, and those who are not.
Obviously a chubby woman will find plenty of dates in that first group of men. But if you are already married, the key question is which group is your husband in? And the way to answer that is: were you chubby while dating and at marriage?

I’ve had women that are skinny and ride like a sports car. Now, I like my women like an Escalade. Smooth and comfy. 👍

Anonymous wrote:I HATE the word chubby

I think chubby is as bad as referring to a boy as husky.

I think a lot of white men don’t have a sense of intrinsic value and need to find external validation wherever they can. Having a girlfriend/wife that everyone else thinks is hot makes men feel valuable.
This is why a man will stay with and marry an attractive woman even if she isn’t interested in sex, and they are no longer sleeping together. It isn’t about *him* being attracted to her. It’s about everyone else.

Anonymous wrote:Re a lot of the couples with larger sized women you are seeing — many of those women were smaller when they started dating. I’m not shaming them. Hormones, babies, stress, etc. add pounds.

When I was overweight and having a hard time meeting a man I would look around and see happily married overweight women and wonder what I was doing wrong. My friend pointed out they often weren’t overweight at the start.

I lost 27 pounds over a summer and suddenly had so much more male attention. No, it was not due to my increased self-confidence. It’s infuriating.

LMAO

Re a lot of the couples with larger sized women you are seeing — many of those women were smaller when they started dating. I’m not shaming them. Hormones, babies, stress, etc. add pounds.

When I was overweight and having a hard time meeting a man I would look around and see happily married overweight women and wonder what I was doing wrong. My friend pointed out they often weren’t overweight at the start.

I lost 27 pounds over a summer and suddenly had so much more male attention. No, it was not due to my increased self-confidence. It’s infuriating.

I think an extra 20-40 lbs, you are fine. Above that it probably becomes difficult.

Before I met DH (6 years ago), I dated a lot and was ~175 and 5' 6. Didn't seem to be an issue for me but I did a lot of online dating where I had realistic, full-body pictures displayed.

Anonymous wrote:I know Huell Babineaux sized men married to equivalently obese women (larger than Lizzo). Actually I know several couples like this and they seem
happy and not concerned with their weight.

This is the norm. Go to any public gathering and just look around. Of course there are many, many exceptions but in general most couples are about equivalent in looks.

I know Huell Babineaux sized men married to equivalently obese women (larger than Lizzo). Actually I know several couples like this and they seem
happy and not concerned with their weight.

I'm Lizzo sized (before she started losing weight) and have never been in a relationship. So yes, it matters.

Anonymous wrote:This is just a tiny sample size but every middle-aged, white, heterosexual female friend I know who wishes she were married but never met the right guy is overweight. Of course, a lot of people don’t want to get married but these wonderful women do.

I have been many different sizes and it’s sad but true that it was so much easier to find guys who were interested in me when I was smaller. It pisses me off how many, many people in lots of situations were nicer to me when I fit the standard of “thin.”

Find that hard to believe for the overweight woman, especially since more than 2/3rds are overweight or obese. I can believe the morbidly obese would be less attractive, but think the slightly overweight women have no problem finding dates.

This is just a tiny sample size but every middle-aged, white, heterosexual female friend I know who wishes she were married but never met the right guy is overweight. Of course, a lot of people don’t want to get married but these wonderful women do.

I have been many different sizes and it’s sad but true that it was so much easier to find guys who were interested in me when I was smaller. It pisses me off how many, many people in lots of situations were nicer to me when I fit the standard of “thin.”

I would like to know too. I am about 180 lb and 5’7”.