Anonymous
Post 04/06/2021 14:12     Subject: 37 Trying for Second
Anonymous wrote:We are trying to have our second. Our first child is 18 months and last month we tried on four days two preceding ovulation one on and once the day after. I did not get pregnant. We somewhat tried two months before the holidays, but nothing as structured.

I feel very discouraged, mainly because when I was 35 I got pregnant on the first try. Although that time we tried 9 times on or leading up to ovulation. Do you think that made a difference, or if the two years of aging actually a problem?

Overall we are both healthy and women in my family have kids until their mid 40s without issue.

I could be reading into this, but now I am afraid this could take months of trying.


I got pregnant after trying for three months with my first. I was 31. With my second I was 33 but she was an oops baby. We tried for at third at 38 and it took me 6 months to get pregnant. Don’t sweat it. Every pregnancy is different. Perhaps set a deadline of 5-6 months and if you are not pregnant by then you can see someone.
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2021 18:01     Subject: Re:37 Trying for Second
That being said, don't give up! If that's what you both want. My DH is done so...
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2021 18:00     Subject: Re:37 Trying for Second
Anonymous wrote:Please OP, try to manage your expectations here. Pregnancy is not easy, from conception to birth. Your first one might have been a breeze, but that's not the norm (even if instagram has conditioned you to think it is).

I had no trouble getting pregnant on the first try at 32 and delivering a healthy baby.

At 37, I got pregnant two times, each on the first try, but neither baby made it to term.

Please be patient with yourself.


I got pregnant at 32 on the first try. I will be turning 37 in a few weeks and it looks like we are destined to only have one child. We don't have the financial means for IVF . I am having a difficult time.coming to terms with this. I'm sorry, OP. I wish I had something more positive to share.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2021 09:16     Subject: 37 Trying for Second
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t end up pregnant in Feb and afraid it won’t happen this month either, which would be three months of trying...although honestly really only two seriously. Should I be concerned?


If this is OP, no you should not be concerned and no RE will see you until you’ve done timed sex for six month (since you’re over 35; it would be 12 if you were under). Unfortunately, contrary to middle school sex ed and your previous experience sometimes unprotected just doesn’t lead to pregnancy. I know it’s brutal and disappointing but there’s not a lot you can do about it except wait and try again. My first took me four months and I’m telling myself my second can’t possibly take less than six (although of course in my first tww right now I’m desperately hopeful). Try to adjust your expectations.


This. Chill, OP. If you hit the six month mark of actively trying, then consult an RE.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2021 08:02     Subject: 37 Trying for Second
You must be infertile now.
Anonymous
Post 03/20/2021 07:32     Subject: 37 Trying for Second
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t end up pregnant in Feb and afraid it won’t happen this month either, which would be three months of trying...although honestly really only two seriously. Should I be concerned?


If this is OP, no you should not be concerned and no RE will see you until you’ve done timed sex for six month (since you’re over 35; it would be 12 if you were under). Unfortunately, contrary to middle school sex ed and your previous experience sometimes unprotected just doesn’t lead to pregnancy. I know it’s brutal and disappointing but there’s not a lot you can do about it except wait and try again. My first took me four months and I’m telling myself my second can’t possibly take less than six (although of course in my first tww right now I’m desperately hopeful). Try to adjust your expectations.
Anonymous
Post 03/19/2021 22:05     Subject: 37 Trying for Second
I didn’t end up pregnant in Feb and afraid it won’t happen this month either, which would be three months of trying...although honestly really only two seriously. Should I be concerned?
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2021 12:58     Subject: 37 Trying for Second
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is OP, perhaps I am overthinking things. I am just so afraid it will take months. I read all these horror stories on DCUM about women who try for months and that their fertility must have gone off a cliff.


OP people try for years. Months is pretty normal.


Amen to that.
I wish my first had taken months. Instead, it took years and eventual IVF.
My second was a huge surprise, though...conceived on 3rd try at 40.

Since you are over 35, OP, most OBs and REs wouldn't even recommend testing until you hit the 6 month mark.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2021 04:10     Subject: Re:37 Trying for Second
I've gotten pregnant on the first and only time we had sex every single time (military wife so he is often not home). So, no, you don't have to have sex every day. That said, it doesn't hurt your chances.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2021 04:07     Subject: 37 Trying for Second
OP, CHILL.

Taking “months” is 100% normal. You sound very high strung so I do not recommend the thermometer. You’ll drive yourself batty. Just relax, enjoy, and it’ll happen.
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2021 09:57     Subject: 37 Trying for Second
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For under 35s, will well timed sex, only about 30% of couples get pregnant each month. Since you're over 35 (but not much) the percentage will be a bit lower. Do you know you're ovulating (i.e. are you temping)? If so, and you want to do something now, call your OB/GYN and set an appointment for 6 months from when you started trying. They can do bloodwork/ SA at that point and give you a recommendation for what to do next.


Thanks and yes definitely know that I’m ovulating due to the clear blue test. I also used test sticks a few months prior to make sure I was accurate in when I thought I was ovulating.
This is the reason I am upset it didn’t work.
I didn’t use anything with my first.


So the clear blue test only detects a surge in LH, which happens right before you ovulate (anywhere from 12-48 hours before you ovulate typically). You can surge and not ovulate however. The only way to know if you ovulated is to track BBT with a basal thermometer (aka temping) throughout your cycle because after you ovulate your temperature increases. (You can also track cervical mucus but I think that is less reliable than temping). Or if you were under the care of a doctor you could get an ultrasound to look for signs of ovulation but I'm not sure how reliable that is thought to be.


Good to know. I will have to buy one of those thermometers. I am definitely tracking mucus which based on what I see online I am definitely ovulating.
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2021 09:22     Subject: 37 Trying for Second
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For under 35s, will well timed sex, only about 30% of couples get pregnant each month. Since you're over 35 (but not much) the percentage will be a bit lower. Do you know you're ovulating (i.e. are you temping)? If so, and you want to do something now, call your OB/GYN and set an appointment for 6 months from when you started trying. They can do bloodwork/ SA at that point and give you a recommendation for what to do next.


Thanks and yes definitely know that I’m ovulating due to the clear blue test. I also used test sticks a few months prior to make sure I was accurate in when I thought I was ovulating.
This is the reason I am upset it didn’t work.
I didn’t use anything with my first.


So the clear blue test only detects a surge in LH, which happens right before you ovulate (anywhere from 12-48 hours before you ovulate typically). You can surge and not ovulate however. The only way to know if you ovulated is to track BBT with a basal thermometer (aka temping) throughout your cycle because after you ovulate your temperature increases. (You can also track cervical mucus but I think that is less reliable than temping). Or if you were under the care of a doctor you could get an ultrasound to look for signs of ovulation but I'm not sure how reliable that is thought to be.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2021 20:16     Subject: 37 Trying for Second
Anonymous wrote:For under 35s, will well timed sex, only about 30% of couples get pregnant each month. Since you're over 35 (but not much) the percentage will be a bit lower. Do you know you're ovulating (i.e. are you temping)? If so, and you want to do something now, call your OB/GYN and set an appointment for 6 months from when you started trying. They can do bloodwork/ SA at that point and give you a recommendation for what to do next.


Thanks and yes definitely know that I’m ovulating due to the clear blue test. I also used test sticks a few months prior to make sure I was accurate in when I thought I was ovulating.
This is the reason I am upset it didn’t work.
I didn’t use anything with my first.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2021 20:12     Subject: 37 Trying for Second
Anonymous wrote:I got pregnant first try with my 3 kids at 28, 30 and 34, but we were having sex every day from day 7 to day 17 or so... I would be scared of missing the right day if I were you


Thanks! And yeah I am mainly freaked out because I used the clear blue ovulation predictor, and we based the days on the smiley indicator.
I definitely get it’s not like every time you try you succeed, it is just annoying me because the first time was simple.
Anonymous
Post 02/23/2021 15:46     Subject: 37 Trying for Second
I got pregnant first try with my 3 kids at 28, 30 and 34, but we were having sex every day from day 7 to day 17 or so... I would be scared of missing the right day if I were you