Anonymous wrote:See other thread about trash talking schools this time of year. Same applies here. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/90/911812.page#19354377

Anonymous wrote:Hello all,
I'm just starting to research Independent Schools for my son to attend.

I grew up in a smaller city and the Independent School my parents' progressive friends sent their kids to was the local Friends School. Also, I was a counselor at a Quaker summer camp and loved the working environment, ethic, and view of the children as needing guidance but worthy of respect.

As I start to make a list of schools we want to consider, I'd like to include a Quaker school or two.
Sidwell Friends is the closest by far to our home.

My question is: is Sidwell Friends really a Quaker school in its feel and ethic? Or is it something different because it has so much prestige and is very well known.

Anonymous wrote:I also attended Quaker schools growing up. I have a DC at Sidwell. No, it does not have the feel of a true Quaker school. There is little emphasis on simplicity and modesty, both core Quaker values. The elitism and materialism gets in the way of seeing God equally in all beings. HOS is, to use a term applied to him by some parents, a prestige whore who favors wealthy, connected families. Decision making is not transparent: there is no attempt at building consensus.

It’s a highly competitive school that provides a good education for highly driven, bright students. Sidwell was once Quaker, I understand, from people Wjo attended in the 80’s. It is Quaker now in name only.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To me quaker schools are friendly and inclusive and accepting of differences. Sidwell doesnt give off that vibe.

Really? Our experience has been quite the opposite, and I see that as well in conversation with other parents who might be same-sex or multi-racial, whatever. It seems to be a very accepting community by and large.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It did for Pk-8 but not as much for upper school. IMO and my child’s.
Not a big deal to us but given the demands of upper school and the big intake of new students, it just diluted the Quaker angle.

I'm 11:45 above. It's interesting that you list the intake of new students here (not saying this in defensive/negative way). From our perspective the school doesn't put a lot of effort into Quaker values in this transition for kids/families that come in 9th grade. The US operates very much at arms (plus more!) reach from parents and the opportunities for new families in terms of community building are scarce. I think much of that comes from the fact that most high schools' need for parents to step back a bit (and to try to shield students from parental pressure). It also comes from the fact that existing families already have enough on their plate than to make lots of efforts bring new ones into the fold (I see this at older grades in our k-8). I don't think either of these factors come from a negative place bit I do think if the school made more of an effort, some of this could change. The PA does a really nice job in trying to bring families together and there are some parents out there more willing to make the effort than others. But most, people my child and family have met were all new in 9th grade - as others already had established relationships (and understandably so). And, in the end, HS is more about the kids finding their way, not parental connections. But it also results in a watered down experience in terms of community.

Anonymous wrote:To me quaker schools are friendly and inclusive and accepting of differences. Sidwell doesnt give off that vibe.