OP, we have some help with childcare, and I still feel like you. Lately, I've been fantasizing about someday going on a business trip again, because...wait for it...my fantasy is having just one single day when I don't have to wash a dish, prepare a meal for someone else (invariably with at least one complaint, even if it's just about the temperature of the food or the plate I served it on), or clean up someone else's mess.

Anonymous wrote:Just chiming in to say that I have seriously considered napping in my walk in closet. No one ever looks in there.

do it! I did this when three kids were babies! and when I woke up, I straightened out the closet...........

Anonymous wrote:Everyday

Same. But mine are high school/college aged teens. Parenting is tough and so damn tiring. It's not rewarding for me, I'm tired in my soul.

They have internet and games and I don't hear from them too often. One finally got tired and is playing with nerf guns after 10 months on the internet.

Anonymous wrote:Just chiming in to say that I have seriously considered napping in my walk in closet. No one ever looks in there.

Hahahaha. Is that where the dark chocolate is kept too?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My childfree sister makes fun of me whenever I complain about my kids. My husband also reminds me that I was the one who pushed for them when I want him to take on more of the work.

That sucks, PP. It's really frustrating to not get your feelings validated by your loved ones -- for me it makes it all feel so much worse. Your husband and sister sound like jerks.

FWIW, I think you have every right to complain. Kids are a pain! I love mine and am glad I had them, but they still wear on my last nerve on a regular basis. I consider complaining about them privately to my loved ones my God-given right (and also think that complaining to my husband or a close family member of friend keeps me from complaining directly to my kids, which I think would be bad for their self-image). Hugs to you.

No, it doesn’t suck, it’s the truth.

You wanted them, you pushed for them - and, they suck. How could you NOT have known this?

Nope, you don’t get to complain.

The same way someone could tell you law school or med school or climbing Mt. Everest or running a marathon are hard, but only when you've done one of these yourself do you realize how truly challenging it is. Pretty sure you'd listen to someone complain about how hard any of those thing are. Why is parenting the one experience people should fully comprehend before they've, you know, actually done it?

Anonymous wrote:There are times when you need to be the heavy parent, just like in the pre-"positive parenting" era.

I have never tolerated whining in my kids, because for me it's like nails on a chalkboard. They stopped when I yelled at them furiously in the scariest voice I could muster. It only took one time, and when I heard incipient signs of whining after that, all I had to do was bend down menacingly and threaten them. One of my kids was very clingy (and still is), but I instituted a period of quiet time, first in her crib, then out of it, at lunch time so I could have some time to myself for an hour.

I relax rules on many things, but behavior is not one of them. When I tell them to do something, they do it.

I could’ve written this. I do t like that I yell but sometimes it’s the only thing that works.

Anonymous wrote:Just feeling really done, like nothing I do makes the least bit of difference. Kids whine or have tantrums when its time to play outside, or when its time to get dressed, when its time to eat, when its time to do online school, when they want me to read or play with them, when I stop reading or playing to make them lunch. I think tomorrow I'm going to have lunch and snacks prepped, and then spend my day in my room, door locked, won't come out unless someone is hurt.

I took a time out the other night. Had to go fix the valentines cookies my husband abandoned as a dough ball but I intend to just drive away some afternoons for my calls. The five yo was shocked when I was gone from 3-5 today! (Dentist). There is an afternoon but she lets them up to my home office way too much.

Anonymous wrote:Just feeling really done, like nothing I do makes the least bit of difference. Kids whine or have tantrums when its time to play outside, or when its time to get dressed, when its time to eat, when its time to do online school, when they want me to read or play with them, when I stop reading or playing to make them lunch. I think tomorrow I'm going to have lunch and snacks prepped, and then spend my day in my room, door locked, won't come out unless someone is hurt.

+1000

I lasted about 8 weeks into the pandemic before getting help part time with the kids. I love them, but I was turning into a monster trying to work full time with a 2 & 5 year old to look after.

Can you get some help OP, even just for a few hours a day?

Also, I am only sort of sorry to admit that I did throw in the towel with DL for my older son. I don't know what he does on the computer all day, but I am pretty sure it's not his lessons most of the time. And he has not submitted a single homework assignment.

It's just a battle I don't have it in me to fight.

It's okay to drop the rope sometimes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My childfree sister makes fun of me whenever I complain about my kids. My husband also reminds me that I was the one who pushed for them when I want him to take on more of the work.

That sucks, PP. It's really frustrating to not get your feelings validated by your loved ones -- for me it makes it all feel so much worse. Your husband and sister sound like jerks.

FWIW, I think you have every right to complain. Kids are a pain! I love mine and am glad I had them, but they still wear on my last nerve on a regular basis. I consider complaining about them privately to my loved ones my God-given right (and also think that complaining to my husband or a close family member of friend keeps me from complaining directly to my kids, which I think would be bad for their self-image). Hugs to you.

No, it doesn’t suck, it’s the truth.

You wanted them, you pushed for them - and, they suck. How could you NOT have known this?

Nope, you don’t get to complain.

Yes, I'm completely done and I feel trapped. I do my best to come up with fun things for the kids to do to help them overcome their negative feelings about being trapped at home for 11 months that are making them extra whiny. It helps a little, but then it's right back to whining the next minute.

They also follow me around everywhere. Two things I can't stand - 1) having someone hover and ask a million questions when I'm trying to eat, particularly something like cereal that requires a lot of chewing that prevents me from being able to respond, and 2) jumping on my bed and being loud just as I'm waking up. I just need a little time to get oriented and pull my thoughts together. I really struggle when I make a reasonable, direct request for 5 minutes of alone time and they still won't go away. I am an introvert and get overstimulated and this just sends me over the edge. I don't know what else to do.

I need someone to explain how you stop yelling. I would love to never yell again, but I don't have any other tools. I'm such a better parent when I can get a break (which I do my best to carve out for myself), but right now my kids need me for absolutely everything and I have so little left for myself.

Anonymous wrote:My childfree sister makes fun of me whenever I complain about my kids. My husband also reminds me that I was the one who pushed for them when I want him to take on more of the work.

That sucks, PP. It's really frustrating to not get your feelings validated by your loved ones -- for me it makes it all feel so much worse. Your husband and sister sound like jerks.

FWIW, I think you have every right to complain. Kids are a pain! I love mine and am glad I had them, but they still wear on my last nerve on a regular basis. I consider complaining about them privately to my loved ones my God-given right (and also think that complaining to my husband or a close family member of friend keeps me from complaining directly to my kids, which I think would be bad for their self-image). Hugs to you.

My childfree sister makes fun of me whenever I complain about my kids. My husband also reminds me that I was the one who pushed for them when I want him to take on more of the work.

Anonymous wrote:Just feeling really done, like nothing I do makes the least bit of difference. Kids whine or have tantrums when its time to play outside, or when its time to get dressed, when its time to eat, when its time to do online school, when they want me to read or play with them, when I stop reading or playing to make them lunch. I think tomorrow I'm going to have lunch and snacks prepped, and then spend my day in my room, door locked, won't come out unless someone is hurt.

Currently in the tub doing just that. Some days are very rough.