Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 13:01     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
High pitched crying is likely more than an early biomarker of autism spectrum disorder; it is also an early causative factor in the development of the disorder. If the parents failed to seek appropriate evolution for their child this is on them. What is the contract agreement if the share is not a fit?
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 13:01     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
This is a tough one. I've definitely heard of babies being "dismissed" from daycare or nanny shares because they cry too much and clearly need more attention than daycare or a share can give them. They may just be especially fussy babies, or be colicky, or have something more serious going on like a developmental disability. If your nanny is experienced, I'd trust her that the crying is abnormal.

By the way, there actually is a genetic disorder called Cri du Chat that was named after the babies' distinct cry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYQrzFABQHQ

I think your role here is to support your nanny. Have a talk with her and let her know you hear her. Have a plan to give it a few weeks, and if the crying stays the same, then you need to address it directly with the other family. The share is not going to work if the nanny feels she can't care for both children adequately, and an extremely fussy/irritable baby is one reason for that. It will suck and be SO painful to do, but will be the best for everyone (including baby, who likely needs to be held 24/7 by a dedicated caregiver).
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 12:58     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
Anonymous wrote:OP here, should have clarified, he nanny is our hire from our pervious share. Old family moved away, new family entered.

Other family had 2 young children as well. No issues with the nanny for the last 2 years with us, 4 years with prior family. This is a new issue.


Can you afford to fire the family and find a new family for the share?
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 12:56     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
Anonymous wrote:Is the sound a scream or a screeching noise? One can be associated with severe or chronic illness[/quot

+1 Autism is currently being diagnosed at the ages of 3-6 years. This could be early signs but not yet able to diagnose. OP, you should look to replace the current care agreement for the sake of the older child's mental health. Inconsolable crying is not a health state of an older child to be subjected to daily.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 12:48     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
Is the sound a scream or a screeching noise? One can be associated with severe or chronic illness
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 12:39     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here, would it be wrong to request they provide a note? Not sure how to handle this situation.

If you asked me for a note, I'd tell you to pound sand. Either you accept it or you find a different family.



If my child made screaming sounds such as this I'd seek professional help.


Such as going to the doctor for a diagnosis? If only the other family had thought to do that. Oh, wait . . .
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 12:38     Subject: Re:Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
Is anyone worried about the poor baby? Nanny should escalate. She's the caregiver.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 12:32     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
Thank you all for the replies. Trying to be sympathetic to the other family, want to avoid removing the child from our share but the screaming is terrible.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 12:32     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
Note to self: make baby scream as application process for prospective families.

OP, I feel for you. What does your contract say about new families and things not working out?
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 12:31     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
Anonymous wrote:OP here, should have clarified, he nanny is our hire from our pervious share. Old family moved away, new family entered.

Other family had 2 young children as well. No issues with the nanny for the last 2 years with us, 4 years with prior family. This is a new issue.


So find another family. You aren't compatible with this one. That's it.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 12:31     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is the screaming new? Whenever my kids screamed like that, it was ear infection related. I would also have some concern about the viability of a nanny share with two kids at such different developmental places. In your position, I would be concerned that the nanny was spending significantly more energy on the younger child with the higher needs and would wonder what kind of attention my child was getting.


Not concerned about the attention. The question is how to move forward with the screaming issue.


Is the screaming new?

If you want to ask the other family about it, I would ask them how their doctor advised that the gas be handled and then help them to make sure that the nanny is doing that.


The screaming is not new, but ramped up in the last few weeks.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 12:29     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
OP here, should have clarified, he nanny is our hire from our pervious share. Old family moved away, new family entered.

Other family had 2 young children as well. No issues with the nanny for the last 2 years with us, 4 years with prior family. This is a new issue.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 12:29     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here, would it be wrong to request they provide a note? Not sure how to handle this situation.

If you asked me for a note, I'd tell you to pound sand. Either you accept it or you find a different family.



If my child made screaming sounds such as this I'd seek professional help.


They did seek professional help.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 12:29     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here, would it be wrong to request they provide a note? Not sure how to handle this situation.

If you asked me for a note, I'd tell you to pound sand. Either you accept it or you find a different family.



If my child made screaming sounds such as this I'd seek professional help.


It sounds like they did, and the doctor told them (and then they told nanny/OP) that it was gas. But, even if they didn't, that's their choice. It doesn't matter if you or I would make a different choice.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2021 12:28     Subject: Nanny is worried about other child sound of scream
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is the screaming new? Whenever my kids screamed like that, it was ear infection related. I would also have some concern about the viability of a nanny share with two kids at such different developmental places. In your position, I would be concerned that the nanny was spending significantly more energy on the younger child with the higher needs and would wonder what kind of attention my child was getting.


Not concerned about the attention. The question is how to move forward with the screaming issue.


Is the screaming new?

If you want to ask the other family about it, I would ask them how their doctor advised that the gas be handled and then help them to make sure that the nanny is doing that.