I love this thread. As someone else said, I've always felt different from others and so it makes sense that it's a more unusual personality type. I love seeing so much of myself in so many of these responses. Not an experience I've had before...

Anonymous wrote:Yup another one here! I'm a director at a large, international NGO. Married with 2 kids.

Me too! Also an INFJ, a director at a large international NGO, married with 2 kids.

Another INFJ here. Married with kids. Policy analyst in social services. I didn't realize we were the rarest personality type, but that does kind of make sense because I do feel pretty different from most people I know.

I have always been driven to help others, particularly the most vulnerable and disenfranchised. I don't have any grand visions, but I'm great at analyzing issues and figuring out how to get things done. I thrive on bouncing ideas around with others to work out the kinks and prefer not to work completely alone. I'm awkward in big groups but in small groups, while probably still kind of awkward, I'm both effective and very well-liked. I like to challenge conventional wisdom and really break issues down, taking into account all available info. I'm all about authenticity.

I'm anxious, but have really worked to tamp down my perfectionism and procrastination over the years. I love the feeling of being really good at my analyst job, but wonder what life would be like not confined to a 9-5, maybe as an artist or small business owner.

+100 to this sentence from a PP: "I love my kids and they also exhaust me because they are always asking things of me throughout the day."

The description on this website of INFJs is spot on for me: https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality

That's me! I'm a teacher, too. I used to teach high school English, but now I'm a reading specialist. I've also taught yoga for nearly 10 years. The classroom was awful for me and gave me the worst anxiety of my life. I'm much happy working with students one-on-one or in small groups. I have a Master's in Social Work as well and I've thought about becoming a psychotherapist at some point, but I'm happy for now.

Infj preferences:


Partner or spouse types
Animals as pets ?
Vegetarian or not
Travel preferences/ not really travelers (?)
House, living space preferences
Types of books
Friendships
What do INFJs spend money on
Type of parent

Elder law attorney, happily married with kids. Have really questioned the career at times, and loved it at times. It requires perpetual learning so I'm always interested, and love the elderly clients. But I do have the combination of perfectionism and procrastination, and hella anxiety, so those things can be challenging. I'm constantly pushing back against them, which can be exhausting. Been in a lot of therapy and think I would have made a good therapist myself. A bit late now, I'm good. Overall I'm happy and fulfilled, if not a bit angsty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought intj was the rarest- that’s me. I’m a designer, married.

I probably have adhd. I analyze things try to understand things, I enjoy it like figuring out a puzzle. I used to be terrible at maintaining any kind of healthy habits or routines, but I recently have found something that’s working for me. I enjoy my friends and family but in doses. I enjoy my time alone and would never run out of hobbies and curiosities to keep my interest. I love my kids and they also exhaust me because they are always asking things of me throughout the day.

I dont know how someone can say they're bored. I am never bored at home. There's always something to do or learn about.

What is working for you? I know we are procrastinators and need help with motivation.

I love talking to people provided they don't take offense about different views and opinions. Our need for perfection definitely holds us back than other personality types.

Yes, procrastination and motivation and perfectionism are three things I struggle with a lot. I also struggle with multitasking and can get derailed easily - and with kids, I feel like I get derailed all the time. I read the book Atomic Habits and it was amazing for me. A big thing was knowing and accepting myself and what works for me. Another thing was letting go of the idea that I needed to overcome my lack of will. Instead, I just had to figure out a no-fail process and system for myself, and assess and tweak. Slowly adding habit on top of habit, until I have a routine that works well for me. Also, letting go of my desire for immediate results and having faith that small steps will get me there. And also using my desire for immediate gratification to my advantage with rewards. I'm five weeks in and I exercise, meditate, stretch, eat healthy 6 days a week, and I'm also adding other things one by one over time, like organizing/cleaning habits. I have not been able to keep up any habit with regularity for such a long period, but with these I feel I can sustain them until I'm 90.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am strong INFJ. Oddly enough, I'm an engineer. Married, 2 young kids.

Similar to a PP, I am an introvert, but social provided it is a small group.

Funny to read these bc I'm a teacher turned engineer. Married with 2 kids, that's about all I think I can handle with my introverted tendencies. I'm what you call an extroverted introvert. Meaning around family and close friends I can be the loud one but in a large group of strangers will be the quietest. I also know how to turn into my "public" self like a switch which is not really like my personal self. I'm very down to earth and get get fatigued by other people's aggressive energy- either verbal or floating around them.

Wow that is exactly me. I am a switch. My family and friend personality is different than being with a large group of strangers. Always front and center with family but never with strangers. Aggressive energy do you mean the loud extroverted type?

I’m an INFJ. I’m an intelligence analyst, but I also love yoga and playing music. Having purpose in my life is very important to me. I spend probably too much time thinking about huge problems, like the afterlife and what our planet would look like to aliens (like what they would think of us bickering over bits of lands and things that seem very unimportant in the grand scheme of the universe).

Sometimes I feel torn between my current job (which I love) and being a free spirit. I try to find ways to channel it that are still responsible, since I have a spouse and a kid.

Anyway, nice to meet other INFJs!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, INFJ. I was a teacher for many years. I enjoyed many aspects about it, was a good teacher, but always knew I was in the wrong field- teaching is very intrusive- you are "on" al day, no time to regroup, always have to present a facade, no private time, exhausting emotionally. Plus, in order to be a team player and play the game, there's a lot of sucking up and alliance with fad programs and ideas. INFJs can't stand fake anything.,

What I should have been was a journalist, writer, or lawyer- such as an immigration lawyer, or similar, not a criminal or a lot of time in the court room

I am an introvert- but I am social. I like small groups, love my friends and family. My antennae, though, can pick up a liar, or someone's true intentions within seconds. I can tell a lot about a person in first impressions.

Exactly. INFJ can't make up their mind for anything. Their love of learning and taking an interest in all subjects makes them undecided and further procrastinates what career they could really be happy in. I am an intelligence analyst but still seeking purpose. It doesn't help that this area is so expensive and learning a new subject to make a career of can take a longer time. I have loved reading and writing since I was 4 yrs old though. In my late 30s I feel I could be too old for another career that isn't in demand or has purpose.

My God, you have just described me. I’m a former intelligence analyst, now SAHM. Incredible similarities.
DP

Anonymous wrote:I thought intj was the rarest- that’s me. I’m a designer, married.

I probably have adhd. I analyze things try to understand things, I enjoy it like figuring out a puzzle. I used to be terrible at maintaining any kind of healthy habits or routines, but I recently have found something that’s working for me. I enjoy my friends and family but in doses. I enjoy my time alone and would never run out of hobbies and curiosities to keep my interest. I love my kids and they also exhaust me because they are always asking things of me throughout the day.

I dont know how someone can say they're bored. I am never bored at home. There's always something to do or learn about.

What is working for you? I know we are procrastinators and need help with motivation.

I love talking to people provided they don't take offense about different views and opinions. Our need for perfection definitely holds us back than other personality types.

INFJ

Divorced with 3 kids (sole custody). I'm a writer and photographer. I'm a classic extroverted introvert and total caregiver type. I also get depleted pretty easily (emotionally) and need to check out and re-charge. Luckily my kids are older and we function really well as a family. The oldest is away at college. It took me years to understand my sensitivities and trust my gut. I also struggle with anxiety, but meditation and making sure I take care of myself keeps it in check. I'd love to meet someone, but I'm pretty happy all things considered.

I thought intj was the rarest- that’s me. I’m a designer, married.

I probably have adhd. I analyze things try to understand things, I enjoy it like figuring out a puzzle. I used to be terrible at maintaining any kind of healthy habits or routines, but I recently have found something that’s working for me. I enjoy my friends and family but in doses. I enjoy my time alone and would never run out of hobbies and curiosities to keep my interest. I love my kids and they also exhaust me because they are always asking things of me throughout the day.

Anonymous wrote:INFJ here. Married. I'm a teacher. I have ADHD and am a major stoner.

I'm the above poster and also feel that I have ADHD and am a major stoner too I also struggle with anxiety and self-doubt.

Yup another one here! I'm a director at a large, international NGO. Married with 2 kids.