Anonymous wrote:Not shaming, just genuinely curious. I know several women who are SAHMs to two kids and have full time nannies and I just can’t fully imagine how that dynamic works.

interesting. many SAHM claim they need to get so much done yet they expect their nannies to do EVERYTHING while keeping the kids engaged, safe and out their way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a nanny and I'm not a SAHM but I don't find this difficult to imagine at all. 1:1 time with one kid, chores, organizing, etc. I can't watch my kids and, say, purge their outdated clothes at the same time.

And yet millions of people find a way to do this all the time.

Sure it’s *possible* but not ideal and if you have the income why not? DP but I’d rather not deal w my toddlers climbing all over and knocking things over (they are 1 and 3) while I’m trying to organize a closet. Could I do it if I had to? Duh

I’m a nanny who’s worked for a few SAHMs who all had social obligations due to husband’s career and non-profit work. They were all very devoted and hands-on moms when they were home. We worked side-by-side for the most part. One mother, in particular, has become one of my best friends.

Part-time work with one young elementary kid and have nanny supervise DL and engage during breaks. This leaves me focussed to do my work, cleaning, run errands. Its never ending task of finding papers, packets etc. for DL and outsourcing this makes me less stressed we currently use about 30 hours per week.

I'm a SAHM of 2 (toddler and 4yo). My husband works a standard 8-5 schedule. I can definitely see getting at least a part-time nanny if I had 3 children OR if my husband worked longer hours. We are planning to have a 3rd child in the next couple years and we are saving up right now for a part-time nanny/mother's helper.

I have four kids. My ex worked at night and then came home and slept until noon. I had two babies at the same time I had a middle schooler and one in elementary school. I'd have the nanny at home watching the two little ones while I ran around driving the kids places after school, and/or doing errands and dr appts that were quicker to do without hauling a kid or two along. It was great to have someone at home doing a couple of loads of kid laundry, getting the babies fed dinner, so I could come home with the older kids and they could practice their instruments while I bathed the babies and then we read to them before bed, then ate dinner.

If we were taking all four to a museum or amusement park or something, having three adults was easier than 1 or 2 in case they were all trying to move in different directions.

I’ve seen this topic come up on DCUM in the past and i honesty think people “get it” a lot more than they did before covid!

If you are home with more than one kid, it’s helpful to have another person around.

I did this for awhile. I’d left a job that wasn’t a great fit but kept our fantastic nanny FT. My DH worked a lot but honestly the first month of being SAHP I relished the freedom to accomplish whatever I wanted to do each day without having to factor in my kids’ schedules. After a month of bad-job detox the utility of full time care meant as above I could volunteer, take one kid to an activity and leave other two at home. I managed household to free up
Nights and weekends for stress free family/couple time. We are far from wealthy but I did the non-work thing for always though a friend started bringing her DD 3-4x a week that mitigated the cost somewhat after 9 months or so.

Except first month I was always busy with stuff that had to get done. I’m sure I had lunch dates and purely indulgent hours but I truly feel that that time set me up for the successful business I started at the end of this time. My DH never questioned doing this, I absolutely recognize I was lucky, and would not judge anyone doing even if all it did was contribute sanity.

I’m a SAHM and if we could afford it and had a bigger house, I would totally have a nanny at least part time. I don’t see it as much different from how wealthy people use money to make life easier in other ways - house cleaners, personal chefs or buying prepared meals, gardeners etc. Pre-Covid, I had a sitter one morning a week. I would work at our pre-school coop, or run errands and go to doctors appointments. It’s hard to find a reliable sitter who can come only occasionally when needed, it was much easier to get someone every week. The friend i know with 2 kids and a full time nanny has one child with special needs who had a lot of therapies and appointments that she couldn’t bring the younger child to. She doesn’t really need someone all day every day, but it was much easier to have someone full time and then she could schedule things whenever and not have to worry about changing the sitter’s day if she needed a last minute appointment or whatever.

Our neighbors have a nanny with a SAHM. 3 kids. Pre-COVID it gave Mom time to do the non- kid stuff, volunteer at the school etc. Mom could do the school run, come home and supervise any homework undistracted.

On days that Mom was finished early the Nanny could leave early.

Now it lets mom do DL, with the freedom to supplement without the younger ones under foot.

I don't see why some posters have a problem with it.

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a nanny and I'm not a SAHM but I don't find this difficult to imagine at all. 1:1 time with one kid, chores, organizing, etc. I can't watch my kids and, say, purge their outdated clothes at the same time.

I am not fully SAHM, I work about 10 hours a week. But this is right, nanny frees me up to spend time with the kids (ie my preschooler begged me to pick him so she will come here and start the laundry which I was planning to do), take care of myself (exercise, nails, etc), and manage our home - I have a contractor here now, need groceries, etc. We are about to have our 4th. It's the difference between me being constantly flustered and feeling totally on top of things.

Anonymous wrote:I am WAHM and have a FT nanny. Is that the same thing? I have a FT job, though, and work during the day. Nanny does food prep, watches kids on DL now, cleaning, and laundry. Prior to COVID, she watched my youngest during the non-preschool hours and took the kids out to the park while I worked. I have lunch with the kids and do most of the cooking but she is my sous chef, of sorts. Also, cleaning and laundry is huge. I've promised my nanny a job until all kids are in school FT and she no longer wishes to come so I've found all sorts of things for her to do. She also goes to grocery store for us, though stopped during COVID, to do shopping. It makes sense. Plus, if someone is able to pay the salary for a FT nanny, why not?

It’s not the same thing because you have a paying job and have to answer to buses and executives. presumably if you are a stay at home mom that is your job . I’m not saying a stay at home mom shouldn’t have a nanny or have help if she wants it and can afford it then more power to her.

My SIL was stay at home and had a nanny. She did all the household stuff but missed being able to be with the kids.

Then she got rid of the nanny and hired a daily (M-F) housekeeper AND an extra person that just came twice a week to do laundry AND a heavy duty cleaner once a week. She loved only having the kids (3 - close in age) to be responsible for.

They are all grown up now.

Anonymous wrote:I am WAHM and have a FT nanny. Is that the same thing? I have a FT job, though, and work during the day. Nanny does food prep, watches kids on DL now, cleaning, and laundry. Prior to COVID, she watched my youngest during the non-preschool hours and took the kids out to the park while I worked. I have lunch with the kids and do most of the cooking but she is my sous chef, of sorts. Also, cleaning and laundry is huge. I've promised my nanny a job until all kids are in school FT and she no longer wishes to come so I've found all sorts of things for her to do. She also goes to grocery store for us, though stopped during COVID, to do shopping. It makes sense. Plus, if someone is able to pay the salary for a FT nanny, why not?

PP, Nanny is between 32-36 hours per week depending on need. So not FT always.

I am WAHM and have a FT nanny. Is that the same thing? I have a FT job, though, and work during the day. Nanny does food prep, watches kids on DL now, cleaning, and laundry. Prior to COVID, she watched my youngest during the non-preschool hours and took the kids out to the park while I worked. I have lunch with the kids and do most of the cooking but she is my sous chef, of sorts. Also, cleaning and laundry is huge. I've promised my nanny a job until all kids are in school FT and she no longer wishes to come so I've found all sorts of things for her to do. She also goes to grocery store for us, though stopped during COVID, to do shopping. It makes sense. Plus, if someone is able to pay the salary for a FT nanny, why not?