Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 21:01     Subject: Re:What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you live on the same street and she is saying she is not that close to her son. I would be tempted to reply something along the lines of you hope she’s right because she’s you want your kids to grow up to be independent.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:58     Subject: What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, she's not wrong . . .


Are you actually serious? What do you mean, omg. That's so mean


Yes. I'm serious. Obviously not 100 percent of the time. But, by and large, daughters are more attentive to their parents as adults than sons. Ever hear the expression "A son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter's a daughter for all of her life?" There's truth to it.


I am unclear if the point of your post is to revive a saying from 1956 or to make someone feel bad, but regardless, it's totally weird.


You may think it's weird, but that doesn't make it any less true.


How are you the arbiter of truth? It's just such a rude and old-fashioned saying.


Like a lot of sayings, it didn't come out of nowhere.


Are you the MIL or invested in this for some other reason


LOL. Contrary opinions aren't welcome I suppose. No I'm not the MIL, I just happen to think that there's some truth to what the MIL is saying.


In this case contrary opinions are not helpful (at all) to the OP and are kind of obnoxious. That may be how you feel and you may be correct, but in this case, what is the benefit of saying it in a reply to OP? how could it possibly be helpful to her?
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:51     Subject: What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
She's wrong, my mom and I never really got along but my brother was her favorite. Just because you have a daughter doesn't mean she will be a friend for life.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:47     Subject: What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, she's not wrong . . .


Are you actually serious? What do you mean, omg. That's so mean


Yes. I'm serious. Obviously not 100 percent of the time. But, by and large, daughters are more attentive to their parents as adults than sons. Ever hear the expression "A son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter's a daughter for all of her life?" There's truth to it.


I am unclear if the point of your post is to revive a saying from 1956 or to make someone feel bad, but regardless, it's totally weird.


You may think it's weird, but that doesn't make it any less true.


How are you the arbiter of truth? It's just such a rude and old-fashioned saying.


Like a lot of sayings, it didn't come out of nowhere.


Are you the MIL or invested in this for some other reason


LOL. Contrary opinions aren't welcome I suppose. No I'm not the MIL, I just happen to think that there's some truth to what the MIL is saying.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:43     Subject: What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
I would say “I never think about it.” Because I don’t. So ridiculous.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:36     Subject: What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
Maybe you could ask her if she thinks sons are more likely to abandon you if you constantly ask their wives intrusive questions.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:35     Subject: What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, she's not wrong . . .


Are you actually serious? What do you mean, omg. That's so mean


Yes. I'm serious. Obviously not 100 percent of the time. But, by and large, daughters are more attentive to their parents as adults than sons. Ever hear the expression "A son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter's a daughter for all of her life?" There's truth to it.


I am unclear if the point of your post is to revive a saying from 1956 or to make someone feel bad, but regardless, it's totally weird.


You may think it's weird, but that doesn't make it any less true.


How are you the arbiter of truth? It's just such a rude and old-fashioned saying.


Like a lot of sayings, it didn't come out of nowhere.


Are you the MIL or invested in this for some other reason
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:34     Subject: What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, she's not wrong . . .


Are you actually serious? What do you mean, omg. That's so mean


Yes. I'm serious. Obviously not 100 percent of the time. But, by and large, daughters are more attentive to their parents as adults than sons. Ever hear the expression "A son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter's a daughter for all of her life?" There's truth to it.


I am unclear if the point of your post is to revive a saying from 1956 or to make someone feel bad, but regardless, it's totally weird.


You may think it's weird, but that doesn't make it any less true.


How are you the arbiter of truth? It's just such a rude and old-fashioned saying.


Like a lot of sayings, it didn't come out of nowhere.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:30     Subject: What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
I’d tell the relative the truth. You are sad it didn’t happen but you love your sons. Or whatever your truth is.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:12     Subject: What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a little sad about not having a girl but at the same time my brother is closer to my mom than I am and he does much more than me to take care of her now that she is old and a widow. When my dad died everyone asked me if I was moving my mom to be near me and I just said "no she lives near my brother." People make a lot of assumptions about gender but they don't have to be true.[b]

One thing I do worry about is whether I'll be less close to my grandchildren (if I have any) because I'll be the MIL. I read some study about how kids tend to be closer to their maternal grandparents. But even that isn't always true (and isn't true in the case of my family).

That said, it sucks that your MIL is saying this stuff to you!!! My SIL does the same thing. She always goes on telling me and my boys (!!!) how she was so nervous while pregnant with her second kid because she desperately wanted a girl and she didn't know what she would have done if she had had two boys. I want to say "STFU" but instead I just say "I was so excited that have two boys."


Absolutely, but they often are true.


If you do a good job raising your sons and lead by example (marry someone who has a good relationship with his mom, don't be the gatekeeper wife who keeps your MIL away) they are less likely to be true. Also, remember that you are an N of 1. Statistics are meaningful for society but not really for individuals. Your kids either will be close to you as adults or they won't. Plus I honestly have not seen any patterns of women I know being closer to their parents as adults than men.

But regardless OP is not asking if she is worse off for having boys. She is asked ng about dealing with an obnoxious MIL.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:12     Subject: What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, she's not wrong . . .


Are you actually serious? What do you mean, omg. That's so mean


Yes. I'm serious. Obviously not 100 percent of the time. But, by and large, daughters are more attentive to their parents as adults than sons. Ever hear the expression "A son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter's a daughter for all of her life?" There's truth to it.


I am unclear if the point of your post is to revive a saying from 1956 or to make someone feel bad, but regardless, it's totally weird.


You may think it's weird, but that doesn't make it any less true.


How are you the arbiter of truth? It's just such a rude and old-fashioned saying.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:10     Subject: What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, she's not wrong . . .


Are you actually serious? What do you mean, omg. That's so mean


Yes. I'm serious. Obviously not 100 percent of the time. But, by and large, daughters are more attentive to their parents as adults than sons. Ever hear the expression "A son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter's a daughter for all of her life?" There's truth to it.


I am unclear if the point of your post is to revive a saying from 1956 or to make someone feel bad, but regardless, it's totally weird.


You may think it's weird, but that doesn't make it any less true.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:09     Subject: What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, she's not wrong . . .


Are you actually serious? What do you mean, omg. That's so mean


Yes. I'm serious. Obviously not 100 percent of the time. But, by and large, daughters are more attentive to their parents as adults than sons. Ever hear the expression "A son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter's a daughter for all of her life?" There's truth to it.


Every family is so different. If you have only sons, there is no daughter to “have to” take care of you. So your sons will do it. Or they won’t. But The biological sex of your children really doesn’t determine whether you are abandoned in old age. If your kids like each other I find anecdotally that it’s more likely they will want to spend time with their parents (and each other) when they are old.

The family dynamic that I think is the hardest for long term closeness is when there is only one daughter...life is harder if you are a woman without a sister. I’d much rather have all boys than just one girl with any combination.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:08     Subject: Re:What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
Girls bring the drama and can also cause untold pain and feuding whereas guys can be totally easy and loving and sweet - Mama's Boy. You know?
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2021 20:07     Subject: What would you say if a relative asked if you're upset not to have daughters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, she's not wrong . . .


Are you actually serious? What do you mean, omg. That's so mean


Yes. I'm serious. Obviously not 100 percent of the time. But, by and large, daughters are more attentive to their parents as adults than sons. Ever hear the expression "A son is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter's a daughter for all of her life?" There's truth to it.


I am unclear if the point of your post is to revive a saying from 1956 or to make someone feel bad, but regardless, it's totally weird.