Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Petite does not mean skinny. It’s height.

Ok .... still rude! Sheesh! Nobody needs to know that your preferences. Keep it to yourself.

It is a dating site, so everyone is stating their preferences. It is not fun to hear, but it sounds like he was being honest.

At least this guy was clear from the get go and did not waste your time.

Sure, he could have used a little more tact but it is what it is.

Consider a bullet dodged here.
For you!

“Not my type” is fine, but he should’ve stopped there. No need to add the petite part. You dodged a bullet, OP.

The way to handle any first message from someone you don't want to talk to on a dating side is to delete it and not respond. Any remark about why you're not interested is unnecessary, and if it's something that might make someone feel bad, it's rude.

Anonymous wrote:Woman here- I don't think it was rude. Think about all the times when we say, why won't they just tell me why they don't want to date me? Why won't they be honest? Well, he was. And it wasn't bad, just not my type.

Same. I think it's very acceptable on a dating site.

I don't think it was rude- I thought it was honest. Physical attraction is important-- the guy wasn't saying that OP wasn't attractive (just the opposite), only that he has a physical preference for small women.
Years ago, I was interested in a guy who took no notice of me-I'm 5'3 and 110 pounds. A few months later I saw his new girlfriend- she was nearly six feet, curvy, and gorgeous. He clearly had a type-- I wasn't it.

Anonymous wrote:Woman here- I don't think it was rude. Think about all the times when we say, why won't they just tell me why they don't want to date me? Why won't they be honest? Well, he was. And it wasn't bad, just not my type.

If she had come back with that question, it would have been acceptable to honestly answer it. But she didn’t, he just abruptly told her she was too big for him.

If I had an issue with the guy’s height, I would never tell him that. I was just politely decline. It’s rude to critique somebody’s appearance, and beyond that it’s not OK to say things that will potentially stoke insecurities (and height in men and size in women are well-known insecurities).

I agree with others on this thread, PP. You dodged a bullet. Imagine if you did have his ideal body type and then you wasted your time on a guy who says stuff like this.

Woman here- I don't think it was rude. Think about all the times when we say, why won't they just tell me why they don't want to date me? Why won't they be honest? Well, he was. And it wasn't bad, just not my type.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I don’t think it was rude at all. It was more honest than necessary but it was a good effort.

“A good effort” doesn’t always cut it. We all know this.

I actually said that to a guy once. I feel bad about it, but we went out on a date and, while he was nice, he really wasn’t my type physically. He was a bit chubby and I just wasn’t into him.

I had just gotten out of a long relationship and tried the whole “I’m just not ready to really date right now” thing, but then he kept pushing me to give him more of an explanation, so I said, “you’re not really my type.” He figured it out and accused me of calling him fat.

I know it wasn’t my best moment.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I don’t think it was rude at all. It was more honest than necessary but it was a good effort.

It was absolutely rude. All he needed to say was, “Thanks for the message. I’m flattered, but I don’t think we’re a good fit.”

I'm surprised no one has mentioned that this is a technique some guys use I think it's called negging popular among the incel and red piller set. They put a woman down, directly or indirectly, and because of how women are socialized to internalize everything and people please they try to fix what is wrong and go back from ore from the guy.

OP. move on, Seriously give this ill-mannered man no more of your time.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and I don’t think it was rude at all. It was more honest than necessary but it was a good effort.

You're a woman without couth. More honest than necessary is rude. However, Op need not dwell on it.

Anonymous wrote:Petite does not mean skinny. It’s height.

Ok .... still rude! Sheesh! Nobody needs to know that your preferences. Keep it to yourself.