Is there a will or trust? Is their home the only asset?

If you're the primary caregiver, speak with them about appointing you as medical proxy, power of attorney and executor or trustee. In most states, the trustee or whatever it's called in your state (some states it's personal representative) are entitled to compensation. Your parents should declare a percentage of assets paid to you. States usually calculate compensation anywhere from 3-5% plus reimbursement for purchases for your parents care.

If you go above and beyond reasonable responsibility in executing their will, estate, and other assets, compensation can be higher. Compensation is taxed though. If your in a state that doesn't have an inheritance tax, you might not want to skim off the top of inheritance since its tax free.

Listening to rich people discuss how they’ll carve up mom & dads assets has always disgusted me. I’ve always considered one great advantage of being working class or poor is knowing you’ll never be subject to such mercenary conjecture nor need worry that your children will destroy each other over your assets after you’ve gone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want my parents to put into perspective that I’m the one that’s currently taking care of them and doing their errands and doctors appts always have family dinners, order their groceries , things of this nature

And knowing how careless my brother is he won’t be looking after them or putting their needs first as they age


Plus that since he’s set to receive a house and lump sum.
By them evening out the distribution of their assets it’ll feel some what fair to me

Np But to get your inheritance don't you have to be dead? So, the parents are dead you get the inheritance so there is no one to "care for?" What am I missing??

OP, like many women, will spend year caring for her parents in their old age and then when they die she will receive the same as her brother who has done jack.

Anonymous wrote:I want my parents to put into perspective that I’m the one that’s currently taking care of them and doing their errands and doctors appts always have family dinners, order their groceries , things of this nature

And knowing how careless my brother is he won’t be looking after them or putting their needs first as they age


Plus that since he’s set to receive a house and lump sum.
By them evening out the distribution of their assets it’ll feel some what fair to me

Np But to get your inheritance don't you have to be dead? So, the parents are dead you get the inheritance so there is no one to "care for?" What am I missing??

The other question is your biological father still in the picture When you say "my parents" do you mean your mother and your step-father or did your step-father legally adopt you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
NOW is the time to say something, OP. It might not change what they do, but at least you'll have said your piece. Otherwise you'll stew for a long time.

My mother and siblings spent 25 years in an inheritance lawsuit. It split the family apart. Some cousins don't talk to me, because I'm my mother's daughter. All this because my grandfather circumvented the law (in another country) to bestow most of his fortune on his sole male heir, and not on any of his daughters.

I've learned from this that I will split my money equally.

That is exactly what OP’s parents plan to do.

Not exactly, since they know one child will receive more than the other. They should make it equal. This is what I would do. And when I write that I will split my money equally, it's because my kids' won't receive money from anyone else, so I know it will be a equal distribution.

I can see why OP's parents might feel that the brother's additional inheritance is not theirs to correct, but they might change their minds or at least try to compensate in other ways if OP says something. In life, when you don't explain your side of things, no one even realizes you have an opinion!

How do you know about that? What if they are married and their spouse is getting a huge inheritence? What is one earns more than the other? Where do you draw the line?

This is why you split it evenly. You can't control other people's money.

It's because it's the same side of the family. If my father gave more to one of my children than the other, I would want to rectify that. If one of my children has a high salary or marries into wealth, it's different and not something I can control. But out of guilt and family obligation, I would want to equalize injustice done on my side of the family.

Why is he getting your grandmother's house?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess I’m just hurt because he’s careless and I look after my parents now

:’(

tell them you'll look after them in exchange for a set fee schedule. If they don't like it, they can rely on your brother

It's insensitive of them to pretend their splitting their assets equally and being fair, when they know full well that your brother will inherit more, and in addition to that, to expect more caregiving from you in some form or another.

I think a little conversation here might be useful. You don't need to spell it out, but if you talk about how your brother already has something from his grandfather, and you don't, and then talk about who is likeliest to help them in their old age... they might get the message.

I want my parents to put into perspective that I’m the one that’s currently taking care of them and doing their errands and doctors appts always have family dinners, order their groceries , things of this nature

And knowing how careless my brother is he won’t be looking after them or putting their needs first as they age


Plus that since he’s set to receive a house and lump sum.
By them evening out the distribution of their assets it’ll feel some what fair to me

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
NOW is the time to say something, OP. It might not change what they do, but at least you'll have said your piece. Otherwise you'll stew for a long time.

My mother and siblings spent 25 years in an inheritance lawsuit. It split the family apart. Some cousins don't talk to me, because I'm my mother's daughter. All this because my grandfather circumvented the law (in another country) to bestow most of his fortune on his sole male heir, and not on any of his daughters.

I've learned from this that I will split my money equally.

That is exactly what OP’s parents plan to do.

Not exactly, since they know one child will receive more than the other. They should make it equal. This is what I would do. And when I write that I will split my money equally, it's because my kids' won't receive money from anyone else, so I know it will be a equal distribution.

I can see why OP's parents might feel that the brother's additional inheritance is not theirs to correct, but they might change their minds or at least try to compensate in other ways if OP says something. In life, when you don't explain your side of things, no one even realizes you have an opinion!

How do you know about that? What if they are married and their spouse is getting a huge inheritence? What is one earns more than the other? Where do you draw the line?

This is why you split it evenly. You can't control other people's money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same mother side
Different fathers
Yes I understand grandfather

I was born before brother about 4 years and my grandfather knew me since that time

Your parents don’t owe you some kind of financial reckoning because you’re jealous of your brother’s inheritance.

you also aren't required to be a caretaker

Anonymous wrote:Guess I’m just hurt because he’s careless and I look after my parents now

:’(

tell them you'll look after them in exchange for a set fee schedule. If they don't like it, they can rely on your brother

I still don't understand. You want your parents to give you more since your brother will have another inheritance? How do you even rationalize that in your mind?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
NOW is the time to say something, OP. It might not change what they do, but at least you'll have said your piece. Otherwise you'll stew for a long time.

My mother and siblings spent 25 years in an inheritance lawsuit. It split the family apart. Some cousins don't talk to me, because I'm my mother's daughter. All this because my grandfather circumvented the law (in another country) to bestow most of his fortune on his sole male heir, and not on any of his daughters.

I've learned from this that I will split my money equally.

That is exactly what OP’s parents plan to do.

Not exactly, since they know one child will receive more than the other. They should make it equal. This is what I would do. And when I write that I will split my money equally, it's because my kids' won't receive money from anyone else, so I know it will be a equal distribution.

I can see why OP's parents might feel that the brother's additional inheritance is not theirs to correct, but they might change their minds or at least try to compensate in other ways if OP says something. In life, when you don't explain your side of things, no one even realizes you have an opinion!

Anonymous wrote:Same mother side
Different fathers
Yes I understand grandfather

I was born before brother about 4 years and my grandfather knew me since that time

Your parents don’t owe you some kind of financial reckoning because you’re jealous of your brother’s inheritance.