In my early and mid 30s, seemed like many of my guy friends cheated. Now mid 40s, seems to have died down but who knows

I think you usually only hear about it if they divorce. And, even then some will not divulge it so it doesn't get back to their children via town gossips.

I think there are many more suffering in silence. It is incredibly hard to go through. Very isolating.

Two out of 15 couples in our friend group. I wouldn’t be shocked to find out there is one more. Beyond that I would be really shocked. One of them is not us (both working from home and not having left the house much since last March I can say my husband is not cheating on me, not that I thought he ever was).

At an international NGO I worked at, I went to HH with coworkers and one of the senior guys on our team was obviously flirting with this younger colleague.

I worked in a doctor's office and there was so much cheating. All the senior doctors would flirt with and have affairs with the PAs and assistants.

I worked in a company for 10 years (investment banking) and there were so many affairs. To the extent it was surprising when someone wasn’t having one. It got to the point that I thought it was a relatively normal thing for people to do, particularly post 40 years old. I’ve now moved to a different industry (tech). It probably still happens but I certainly see no evidence of it.

No one that I know of.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never know because its not something I would ever talk about with anyone. If a friend approached me to confide, I would cut them off. Too much drama. Not interested. My DH would never randomly say "Hey Steve is cheating on Nancy with his assistant."

He wouldn’t? Why not?

I think desperately not wanting to know is as odd as searching out this kind of information.

She's going through life with blinders on. And pretending she's above it all. Unfortunately, that's how many women feel before they discover infidelity in their own marriages.

Anonymous wrote:None that I know of. But I’m 37, maybe it is still coming.

PP here. Oh yes, I remember being 37 and knowing no one!

Anonymous wrote:Well you picked a winner, OP. I am sure I know people who have cheated but I do not have any friends or family members who I know have cheated or been cheated on. I had friends in HS and college who cheated/were cheated on, but not since then that I know of.

How old are you?

I used to say then I was in my twenties and thirties. Then I was cheated on. And I still felt alone, but now I sadly hear about marriages breaking up all the time because of it. Every time I hear it, it hurts.

This is in NW DC, Bethesda, and Chevy Chase, families with kids in private schools.

As far as I know, no one in my immediately family has ever cheated - or would ever do it in the future. My parents have been happily married for 50 years.

None that I know of. But I’m 37, maybe it is still coming.

Most people don't talk about it because of the gossip and stigma their kids would face. It happens way more than anyone knows. In fact, there are probably several 'happy marriages' you know of that have been rocked by it.

It's so hard to know in social circles. I have a few friends marriages who blew up post cheating, and that's how we all found out, but socially ongoing affairs seem well hidden...


At work however, OMG. When I taught at a private high school here in DC there was SO MUCH cheating going on, not very well hidden. We all talked about it. And my husband works in a lots-of-travel non profit and many of his co-workers seem to be enjoying their freedom too much. I am so curious about how they are doing during the COVID year...

Anonymous wrote:I will never know because its not something I would ever talk about with anyone. If a friend approached me to confide, I would cut them off. Too much drama. Not interested. My DH would never randomly say "Hey Steve is cheating on Nancy with his assistant."

He wouldn’t? Why not?

I think desperately not wanting to know is as odd as searching out this kind of information.

I will never know because its not something I would ever talk about with anyone. If a friend approached me to confide, I would cut them off. Too much drama. Not interested. My DH would never randomly say "Hey Steve is cheating on Nancy with his assistant."

I don't know but I also don't think I would know. I've been blindsided by divorces in the past so I don't think I have any insight into other people's relationships. I particularly think that something like infidelity, which only one partner knows about within the marriage, is something it would be very strange to expect that I could suss out from the outside.