Anonymous wrote:OP here. I just let it be, hopefully he sticks to only weekends or days when he doesn't have work the next day. We'll see.

BTW you didn't do anything wrong by holding up your end of the bargain, I hope you know that, but from here on he needs to be accountable for his own alcohol intake.

It's not your concern. He is an adult. Nagging will only make him resent you and probably drink even more. I would never agree to be accountable for another adult's choices. Tell him you're not comfortable policing his intake. It's not healthy for either of you or for your relationship.

OP here. I just let it be, hopefully he sticks to only weekends or days when he doesn't have work the next day. We'll see.

This sounds like my husband. I think he was self medicating anxiety/depression with wine. He would drink at least a bottles worth of wine a night- he kept saying he only had 2 glasses yet I could tell he was drinking both white and red. Anyway, I made comments about it- mostly that I was concerned for his health. He also managed to gain 15 extra pounds and somehow didn’t notice this. He recently went to the doctor- and I think the doctor finally knocked some sense into him. Also- it helps if you have a child with no filter.. mine basically said (after looking through old photos) gee Dad you used to be so much thinner and in shape- what happened?? .... I did not say a word, just sort of looked at my husband and shrugged. ... He has stopped drinking altogether and is taking an anti- depressant now. Hope this lasts. There is not much you can do- short of telling him it concerns you and you are worried about his health. Three beers a night seems excessive.

Come on! An inauguration that only comes around every 4 years and is a Fed holiday counts as “more” than a weekend. This would be the equivalent of calling him out for drinking on the 4th of July because it’s on a Tuesday.

Come on, OP. Get real

I'm squarely in the "weekends are any day you don't have to work the next day" camp.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP unclench. Seriously.

His mistake was telling you to call him out on it and you, like a child at Christmas, couldn’t wait to do just that.

Whatever. OP did what he asked. It turns out, he didn't really want that. OP should tell him that she doesn't want to be his accountability anymore, since he got angry when she did exactly what he asked her to. He's a grown man, he can police himself.

Turns out men want a partner, not a mother. Even if they act like they want a second mother, they don’t.

Anonymous wrote:OP unclench. Seriously.

His mistake was telling you to call him out on it and you, like a child at Christmas, couldn’t wait to do just that.

Whatever. OP did what he asked. It turns out, he didn't really want that. OP should tell him that she doesn't want to be his accountability anymore, since he got angry when she did exactly what he asked her to. He's a grown man, he can police himself.

Anonymous wrote:I would let him celebrate!

Btw, 5'10" and 165 for a male is thin.

+1 He is too thin.

I would be unhappy if my DH was drinking 2-3 beers a night. I'm sorry you have to deal with this OP.

OP unclench. Seriously.

His mistake was telling you to call him out on it and you, like a child at Christmas, couldn’t wait to do just that.

Don't object, join him for a drink if possible, but tell him it is too stressful on you to help him stay accountable now that you understand that he wants to be more flexible than you originally thought. I personally would never agree to be my DH's accountability partner because he seems somewhat similar in that he changes his mind frequently about what he wants/needs and his boundaries.

Also I completely agree that his response to you could have been more mature. That said, everyone is on edge, so cut him some slack.

Anonymous wrote:I would let him celebrate!

Btw, 5'10" and 165 for a male is thin.

I agree. Leave him alone.

He asked you to keep him accountable and you did. A more mature response from him would be, “thank you for keeping me accountable but since it’s a holiday for me I’ve decided to have some beers tonight”.