Anonymous wrote:If you’ve been having the same fight for three years, he isn’t going to change. Either make peace with it or end the relationship.

For the record, there’s nothing inherently wrong with him remaining friends with his ex.

+1. What, precisely, is disrespectful and inappropriate about it?

When people show you who they are, believe them.

He is emotionally close to his ex. That’s simply the fact of the matter. You have to decide whether you’re okay with that or not. Either accept it or move on, as he’s made it clear this is a relationship that matters to him and will continue.

I know I wouldn’t be happy with it, but that’s me. You have to make a decision for yourself.

It’s not going to change, OP. You made yourself clear, and he made himself clear too. It does not sound like a committed relationship. I think you should start dating other people and then leave once you find someone you like.

Why did they break up?

OP is this the guy with Winnie the Pooh stuff in the house? Some shared character with his ex?

Is he jealous of your ex-husband? Is this his way to level the playing field to give him a little power? Doe his ex have someone in her life or is she single?

I mean, they are friends. I don't communicate like this with my XH, but he's a dirty cheater who I wish would just move back to his home country and leave me alone.

However, it sounds like your GF and his XW are genuine friends. Trying to control or change that will not work, so either decide you can live with it or not.

He's not over her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be ok with that. I would have to,d him he had to choose between me or her four to six months into dating him.

Sounds like OP did say that, and he said he's not willing to cease communication with EXDW.

Yet three years later, she’s still with him. So it must not really be that big of a deal.

OP: It is a big deal. It eats at me. I try to become more comfortable with the idea of their friendship, but it just doesn't ever stop feeling wrong.

DP. It sounds like you two aren’t compatible. That is sad and disappointing, but it’s better to recognize it and move on than to spend the rest of your life unhappy and on edge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be ok with that. I would have to,d him he had to choose between me or her four to six months into dating him.

Sounds like OP did say that, and he said he's not willing to cease communication with EXDW.

Yet three years later, she’s still with him. So it must not really be that big of a deal.

OP: It is a big deal. It eats at me. I try to become more comfortable with the idea of their friendship, but it just doesn't ever stop feeling wrong.

Then BREAK UP.

OP: I'm asking for advice. That's what this forum is for. I'm asking people what they would do, what they would say, whether this is a normal interaction, etc. I'm asking, responding, and listening.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’ve been having the same fight for three years, he isn’t going to change. Either make peace with it or end the relationship.

For the record, there’s nothing inherently wrong with him remaining friends with his ex.

+1

He's friends with his ex-wife. Accept that or leave.

OP: They can be friendly with one another! I just don't know why he has to text "It's really coming down out there, isn't it?" to her when it rains. I don't wish them ill-will toward one another, but he communicates with her like he communicates with me.

He's a boyfriend for a reason
This is what dating is for

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be ok with that. I would have to,d him he had to choose between me or her four to six months into dating him.

Sounds like OP did say that, and he said he's not willing to cease communication with EXDW.

Yet three years later, she’s still with him. So it must not really be that big of a deal.

OP: It is a big deal. It eats at me. I try to become more comfortable with the idea of their friendship, but it just doesn't ever stop feeling wrong.

Then BREAK UP.

Anonymous wrote:If you’ve been having the same fight for three years, he isn’t going to change. Either make peace with it or end the relationship.

For the record, there’s nothing inherently wrong with him remaining friends with his ex.

+1

He's friends with his ex-wife. Accept that or leave.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be ok with that. I would have to,d him he had to choose between me or her four to six months into dating him.

Sounds like OP did say that, and he said he's not willing to cease communication with EXDW.

Yet three years later, she’s still with him. So it must not really be that big of a deal.

OP: It is a big deal. It eats at me. I try to become more comfortable with the idea of their friendship, but it just doesn't ever stop feeling wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’ve been having the same fight for three years, he isn’t going to change. Either make peace with it or end the relationship.

For the record, there’s nothing inherently wrong with him remaining friends with his ex.

You wouldn't be mad at your significant other for sharing pictures of the things he baked and the minutia of his day with someone he used to have sex with? Come on now.

No, I wouldn’t. My husband is still good friends with two of his exes, and it doesn’t bother me.

But whether it would bother me is irrelevant to this situation, because OP’s boyfriend has made it clear that he’s not going to stop.

Not OP but your husband texts with two of his exes, daily and multiple times per day?