Anonymous wrote:OP here. She did recently learn about this in school so when the first pp said this it resonated with me. Maybe counting calories isn't the correct expression, but she likes to know how many calories are in something before she eats it. She reads the food labels and will comment that she doesn't want to eat something because it has "too many calories." I don't think she is only trying to limit herself to eat a certain number of calories. It caught attention when I made pasta with chicken and broccoli and she didn't want to eat the chicken, which is unusual for her. I didn't point out that the pasta with parmesan was less healthy than the grilled chicken, but that's what I was thinking.

The relationship between food and girls can be so complicated and I don't want to have something that I do or do not do contribute to any issues. She's a comp soccer player and she's growing so I tell her these things will make her hungrier. I also tell her to eat some kind of fruit or vegetable with every meal and I talk about the vitamins in foods, too.

I’m confused. Why can’t you tell her the pasta is a less healthful choice?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the big deal? Calories are on packages. it's not a secret or a hush-hush subject. I have a 13 year old daughter. At some point most girls starting thinking about calories in order to stay a healthy weight.

And most girls have a messed-up relationship with food and their bodies.

Most girls do not!

I think some schools introduce those concepts in the 6th grade health classes. My son did the same in 6th grade (MCPS).

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She did recently learn about this in school so when the first pp said this it resonated with me. Maybe counting calories isn't the correct expression, but she likes to know how many calories are in something before she eats it. She reads the food labels and will comment that she doesn't want to eat something because it has "too many calories." I don't think she is only trying to limit herself to eat a certain number of calories. It caught attention when I made pasta with chicken and broccoli and she didn't want to eat the chicken, which is unusual for her. I didn't point out that the pasta with parmesan was less healthy than the grilled chicken, but that's what I was thinking.

The relationship between food and girls can be so complicated and I don't want to have something that I do or do not do contribute to any issues. She's a comp soccer player and she's growing so I tell her these things will make her hungrier. I also tell her to eat some kind of fruit or vegetable with every meal and I talk about the vitamins in foods, too.

You need to talk with her about protein. If she is an athlete then she will need to be sure she is eating enough protein as part of the total caloric intake. That also speaks to her issue with the chicken. She needs the chicken because it had the most protein, the most bang for the buck in terms of benefit to her body, rather than the pasta with the sauce.

You may want to ask the PE/Health teacher to talk a little bit about protein and what the daily requirements are for growing tweens and teens, and then also for athletes.

To give perspective to my post, our older college kids are all D1 athletes and they watch their protein count more closely than anything else. In fact at the Christmas dinner table one kid pulled up the nutritional analysis and had a long discussion with a sibling about the protein value of a variety of foods that we had on the buffet. Our elementary and middle school kids had lots of questions. They hadn't really thought about protein. But when our college kids talk to their trainers at school, protein is the focus of the discussion, not calories.

Anonymous wrote:What's the big deal? Calories are on packages. it's not a secret or a hush-hush subject. I have a 13 year old daughter. At some point most girls starting thinking about calories in order to stay a healthy weight.

And most girls have a messed-up relationship with food and their bodies.

Anonymous wrote:I explained what a calorie is and why a healthy body needs them, plus the variables that go into how many energy units you need to put in the human machine to keep it working at optimum health. I explain that not all calories are the same, and about empty calories and how they force us to increase the caloric intake so that we also get the nutrients we need from nutrient dense calories. I also point out that some calories contain elements that are harmful to the body, either immediately or over long term abuse.

Holy crap. No.

Teach your kids to listen to their bodies -- how do you feel when you eat certain foods? How do you feel when you let yourself go hungry for a long time? When you eat past being full? Teach your kids what nutrients are in each food and what those things do for your body. Talk about how some things are just fun to eat because they taste good, and that's a nice thing, not a shamefully self-indulgent thing that will kill you.

I used to make fun of ads that talk about a food being "guilt free." Unless you're stealing it or using it as a weapon, food shouldn't make you feel guilty.

I would look for a well-qualified nutritionist and go together, and tell your daughter that since new research about healthy eating is coming out all the time, you want to learn along with her together, especially because you want to be sure you keep the right groceries in the house to support her healthy eating for sports.

What's the big deal? Calories are on packages. it's not a secret or a hush-hush subject. I have a 13 year old daughter. At some point most girls starting thinking about calories in order to stay a healthy weight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also there is a big difference between the calories you get from an avocado and the calories you get from a donut. Some are full of nutrients and some are full of fats and are empty of nutrients

So it may be a good idea to qualify the calories conversation with this kind of information as well.

No, this is bad advice. That is setting up a good food, bad food mentality and is proven to lead to restriction.

Frankly, the "science" on calories is like teaching your kid about mental health using ideas from the 1910s. It is so much more complex than calories. And bodies don't absorb calories as listed on the nutrition label. Popular knowledge has not kept up with the evolving science on this, and frankly even science is decades slow on really understanding it.

Calories are heat released when you burn something. It is a very basic measurement of heat energy. But it does not even come close to understanding how it all interacts in our bodies with the hormones, bacteria, cycles (that both males and females have), etc.

It is not bad advice to say a donut is a very unhealthy food and an avocado is healthy food. FFS

I usually redirect conversations about calories to “food energy.” Your body needs a certain amount of energy and nutrients to function and to grow, and foods provide both. What do we know about food A in terms of energy and nutrients provided? You can eat only veggies and get lots of nutrients but not enough energy, or you can eat cake and get lots of energy but no nutrients, or you can eat a balanced meal (say, pasta with chicken and veggies from the PP) and get lots of nutrients and energy.

OP here. She did recently learn about this in school so when the first pp said this it resonated with me. Maybe counting calories isn't the correct expression, but she likes to know how many calories are in something before she eats it. She reads the food labels and will comment that she doesn't want to eat something because it has "too many calories." I don't think she is only trying to limit herself to eat a certain number of calories. It caught attention when I made pasta with chicken and broccoli and she didn't want to eat the chicken, which is unusual for her. I didn't point out that the pasta with parmesan was less healthy than the grilled chicken, but that's what I was thinking.

The relationship between food and girls can be so complicated and I don't want to have something that I do or do not do contribute to any issues. She's a comp soccer player and she's growing so I tell her these things will make her hungrier. I also tell her to eat some kind of fruit or vegetable with every meal and I talk about the vitamins in foods, too.

Half the advice on this thread is awesome and the other half is awful.

Encourage your kid to listen to her body. How hungry does she feel? How does she feel after eating a donut? After eating a green smoothie? Does it feel good to exercise when you’re hungry? When you have just eaten? How does it feel to eat past the point of hunger? And do all this without judgment. She just needs to learn about herself.

Most people know what kind of food is healthy and what isn’t. If somebody is already asking about calories, they know. Most people do not know how to be in tune with their bodies and how to exercise for the sake of it feeling good. Those are the skillls I want to give my kids.

Best thing is to discuss what a serving looks like. How many chips in a serving? Most people can handle a serving but usually eat more.

Anonymous wrote:Also there is a big difference between the calories you get from an avocado and the calories you get from a donut. Some are full of nutrients and some are full of fats and are empty of nutrients

So it may be a good idea to qualify the calories conversation with this kind of information as well.

No, this is bad advice. That is setting up a good food, bad food mentality and is proven to lead to restriction.

Frankly, the "science" on calories is like teaching your kid about mental health using ideas from the 1910s. It is so much more complex than calories. And bodies don't absorb calories as listed on the nutrition label. Popular knowledge has not kept up with the evolving science on this, and frankly even science is decades slow on really understanding it.

Calories are heat released when you burn something. It is a very basic measurement of heat energy. But it does not even come close to understanding how it all interacts in our bodies with the hormones, bacteria, cycles (that both males and females have), etc.

Also there is a big difference between the calories you get from an avocado and the calories you get from a donut. Some are full of nutrients and some are full of fats and are empty of nutrients

So it may be a good idea to qualify the calories conversation with this kind of information as well.