Anonymous wrote:At what age is it appropriate then?

Maximizing player development requires a strong coach-player relationship. Obviously most coaches are complete bananas and miss this by mile. But players that trust their coach and know they have their coaches unconditional support will perform and develop better. Communicating with players is a necessity for this to happen. I know for certain the responses my daughter gives her coach when I'm present are vastly different than her responses/interactions when I'm not. This isn't to say things should not be monitored, just providing an observation.

SafeSport = 18*

*Once a coach-Athlete relationship is established, a Power Imbalance is presumed to exist throughout the coach-Athlete relationship (regardless of age) and is presumed to continue for Minor Athletes after the coach- Athlete relationship terminates until the Athlete reaches 20 years of age.

Many organizations are a work in progress with this and parents should be asking questions just like OP. Yes, parents with different comfort levels are going to push about things others didn’t consider to be risky, but the overall safety for athletes can only benefit. Any organization under the umbrella of a National Governing Body for sport should have published policies for athlete protection and a process for oversight.

Anonymous wrote:At what age is it appropriate then?

Maximizing player development requires a strong coach-player relationship. Obviously most coaches are complete bananas and miss this by mile. But players that trust their coach and know they have their coaches unconditional support will perform and develop better. Communicating with players is a necessity for this to happen. I know for certain the responses my daughter gives her coach when I'm present are vastly different than her responses/interactions when I'm not. This isn't to say things should not be monitored, just providing an observation.

Those conversations can happen at practices and games, in open areas. They don’t have to happen over text.

At what age is it appropriate then?

Maximizing player development requires a strong coach-player relationship. Obviously most coaches are complete bananas and miss this by mile. But players that trust their coach and know they have their coaches unconditional support will perform and develop better. Communicating with players is a necessity for this to happen. I know for certain the responses my daughter gives her coach when I'm present are vastly different than her responses/interactions when I'm not. This isn't to say things should not be monitored, just providing an observation.

This is a rookie and sets himself up for issues if he texts his players individually.

If a player is late or can’t come to practice, etc., that’s when you use team apps such as TeamSnap, etc.

Anonymous wrote:One coach in a well known club sent inappropriate texts to a 14-year old female player. He was canned.

Key word inappropriate ... Monitor your kids activities and make them aware of what is and isn't appropriate. Part of our culture is not to talk to our kids about the bad stuff enough. So many parents want to shelter their kids almost to the point where kids are oblivious to the real stuff thats out there. If you talk to your kids and say this or that is inappropriate directly rather than just saying the same line you feed a 3 yr old "there are bad people out there". Teach your children to be vigilant. The world is a crazy place Teach them how to navigate thru it rather than hide the world from them. Yeah your kids to trust but not blindly. Always keep one eye open with everyone no exceptions.

One coach in a well known club sent inappropriate texts to a 14-year old female player. He was canned.

Anonymous wrote:yes, but the coaches also groom the parents to have them believe that is it time for their children to be responsible enough and it is part of the team culture.

“Groom” that’s a scary word with kids and coaches/priests/teachers, etc

I'm a coach. You do NOT need to text players

the only thing I can think of is if all of your athletes are old enough to drive and you expect them to be at a certain place at a certain time... And they are not where there are supposed to be. Then you would first call them and then follow up with a text message if they do not respond. That's the only circumstance I can think of outside of an emergency where it would be okay to text an athlete

Protect your child not the coach.

Anonymous wrote:11:59 PP to add (maybe an opinion)-

Oversight and follow through start at the club level, so I believe for accountability (and potential firing like your example) that's where coaches and directors etc. should be very clear on policies and expectations. The safest culture makes these policies transparent for all involved.

I have, for example, signed off on the SafeSport policy for my club as a parent. I know my kids' coach can lose his job for violating the texting/social media policies.

No matter how comfortable I am with it or how much I trust coach/kid.

Anonymous wrote:the safesport guidelines are in place because too often coaches have taken advantage of their role and abused their power. Shame because coaches are in a unique position to make a positive impact. I think a coach can use texting or group chats to support development and provide necessary encouragement but the coach must be upfront with parents about what is going on. My 14 yr old daughter communicates often with her coach via text and I have complete trust and faith in both my daughter and coach. The coach has a very good relationship with all the players on the team and it's evident the coach-player relationship plays a critical role in all their development.

It is a shame, but it is the reality we live. I bet nearly all parents of abused athletes would write this exact paragraph before the abuse comes to light. And that is scary.

the safesport guidelines are in place because too often coaches have taken advantage of their role and abused their power. Shame because coaches are in a unique position to make a positive impact. I think a coach can use texting or group chats to support development and provide necessary encouragement but the coach must be upfront with parents about what is going on. My 14 yr old daughter communicates often with her coach via text and I have complete trust and faith in both my daughter and coach. The coach has a very good relationship with all the players on the team and it's evident the coach-player relationship plays a critical role in all their development.

11:59 PP to add (maybe an opinion)-

Oversight and follow through start at the club level, so I believe for accountability (and potential firing like your example) that's where coaches and directors etc. should be very clear on policies and expectations. The safest culture makes these policies transparent for all involved.

I have, for example, signed off on the SafeSport policy for my club as a parent. I know my kids' coach can lose his job for violating the texting/social media policies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son has texted with his last two basketball coaches. I don't think that there is any rule about it in Bball but I could be wrong. In both cases I was/am fine with it. Neither coach is some kind of role model but I have no issue with them providing basketball pointers to my kid individually.

Right. I agree with you but what if this coach is doing something similar for another kid and, for some reason, the parent gets pissed at him...for playing time let's just say...and goes to the club/league/state/whoever and complains about the 1v1 texts, etc. I don't want to see the coach get in trouble for trying to help kids individually.

"The U.S. Congress designated the U.S. Center for SafeSport with the authority to respond to reports of sexual misconduct within the U.S. Olympic & Paralympic Movement by passing the Protecting Young Victims from Sexual Abuse and Safe Sport Authorization Act of 2017. This legislation, also known as S.534, designates the Center to serve as the independent national safe sport organization, with the additional responsibility for the Center to develop national policies and procedures to prevent the emotional, physical, and sexual abuse of amateur athletes."

It is my lay understanding that each governing body for a sport under the US Olympic Committee is required to develop their own safety and protection policies. I am sure there are some requirements and an approval process. I have seen the policies for several sports and it seems they have enough overlap to believe they all started with a template. This includes USA Basketball, US Soccer, USA Gymnastics, US Figure Skating and on and on. Some are more public about it due to publicized disasters in their sport. All coaches under these organizations should be receiving training and if they are not, that goes up the chain. I know for swimming, USA Swimming is now working to the level of parents. We are encouraged to complete an online training. Clubs are encouraged to promote this and achieve a designation if all parents have completed the training. 18 year old athletes are required to complete a training (at least in swimming). Of course it is age appropriate and doesn't prohibit at 17 and 18 year old couple from dating as they are not in a relationship with a power dynamic like the coaching relationship.

From USA Basketball Safe Sport Handbook
https://www.usab.com/youth/safesport/handbook.aspx

If an Applicable Adult with authority over Minor Athletes needs to communicate directly with a Minor Athlete via any form of electronic communication, another Applicable Adult and/or the minor’s parent or legal guardian must be copied.
If a Minor Athlete communicates to the Applicable Adult, with authority over the Minor Athlete privately first, the Applicable Adult should respond to the Minor Athlete and copy (i.e. cc) another Participating Adult and/or the Minor Athlete’s parent(s) or legal guardian(s).
Communication submitted electronically to a team comprised of Minor Athletes by USA Basketball or an Applicable Adult, shall also include one or more additional Participating Adults.
Minor Athletes may “friend” USA Basketball’s Official Pages on any electronic medium (e.g. Instagram, Facebook). However, Applicable Adults should generally refrain from accepting “friend requests” or “follow requests” from Minor Athletes.


As some of you are pointing out, these policies protect coaches and athletes. It can still be Jimmy's responsibility to text coach about missing practice, his mom just has to be on the text.

Cultures need to change in order to prevent abuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What age are we talking?
I know every situation is different but If its strictly sport related Im ok with it.
Teaching kids thru sports to be leaders, critical thinkers, and independent decision makers is a lost art these days thanks to so many parents raising snow flakes for kids.
I would say monitor it be dont intervene as long as appropriate.

OP here. I already said...I AM FINE WITH IT. I'm worried that another parent might "turn him in" if it's illegal. SO whether you are OK with it or I'm OK with it is irrelevant. And for what I'm talking about, age doesn't matter...well, yes, it does...we are talking about minors I suppose.

Relax douche.. By you saying minors tells me you might actually be one of those snow flake parents. Just mind your business and dont be a snitch. Loose lips sink ships and have brought down many college programs. If there's no abuse going on there's no need for you to step in.

... maybe there isn't in this scenario but that's how it all starts in the situations that develop into abuse. It's part of the grooming process and coaches are told in their annual training modules that this is not ok and to watch out for it. If there is a need to provide immediate feedback over text because it can't be done at practice, text the parent and have them relay the message. A parent not happy with this scenario could possibly get the coach in trouble which seems that is what OP is trying to determine. Although you are ok, someone else may not.