Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 13:35     Subject: Re:to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
Huh, I know a half dozen people who have cheated and none of them are divorced. Half of people cheat and a good chunk are divorced and some still married.

That being said, sex is a barometer of marriage and if you are doing it so infrequently that your spouse is driven to cheat, the marriage is probably going to fail regardless of who sleeps with who.
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 13:27     Subject: to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
Anonymous wrote:OP do you have a link for these stats?


this is a good read for anyone contemplating an affair (same stats mentioned are cited in this):

https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/life-after-divorce-infidelity
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 13:20     Subject: to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
OP do you have a link for these stats?
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 13:19     Subject: Re:to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
I'm part of the 20% who's still with my husband after a long term affair that was never discovered. It depends on the reason for the affair - is it permanent incompatibility or situational?


Nah, you are a liar with huge character defects in both cases.
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 12:55     Subject: to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So affairs are successful in saving 20% of low sex marriages.


Only assuming they otherwise would have failed, which is an unwarranted assumption.


Given that healthy people with normal libido (especially men) do not live in celibacy, 100% of low sex marriages fail WITHOUT an affair.


Then DIVORCE. Having the affair only makes the divorce more contentious. Much better to end it honorably. This thread is about people trying to justify an affair in a marriage.

That's stupid and benefits nobody. The sexless spouse does not want a divorce (otherwise THEY would divorce).
You can't have this both ways! If sex is soooooo important that an affair would be at all contentious ...... THEN HAVE SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE! OR DIVORCE THEM.
If sex is unimportant (ie, you rarely have it) then it can be no big deal when your normal libido spouse does that unimportant thing elsewhere.


Booooohooooo...then tell your spouse what you are doing.


Agreed. That's the 12 second "declare the marriage open" conversation.
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 12:52     Subject: to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So affairs are successful in saving 20% of low sex marriages.


Only assuming they otherwise would have failed, which is an unwarranted assumption.


Given that healthy people with normal libido (especially men) do not live in celibacy, 100% of low sex marriages fail WITHOUT an affair.


Then DIVORCE. Having the affair only makes the divorce more contentious. Much better to end it honorably. This thread is about people trying to justify an affair in a marriage.

That's stupid and benefits nobody. The sexless spouse does not want a divorce (otherwise THEY would divorce).
You can't have this both ways! If sex is soooooo important that an affair would be at all contentious ...... THEN HAVE SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE! OR DIVORCE THEM.
If sex is unimportant (ie, you rarely have it) then it can be no big deal when your normal libido spouse does that unimportant thing elsewhere.


But then there are those pesky issues of honestly, respect, and fidelity, which presumably are a big deal in a marriage.
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 12:51     Subject: to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So affairs are successful in saving 20% of low sex marriages.


Only assuming they otherwise would have failed, which is an unwarranted assumption.


Given that healthy people with normal libido (especially men) do not live in celibacy, 100% of low sex marriages fail WITHOUT an affair.


Then DIVORCE. Having the affair only makes the divorce more contentious. Much better to end it honorably. This thread is about people trying to justify an affair in a marriage.

That's stupid and benefits nobody. The sexless spouse does not want a divorce (otherwise THEY would divorce).
You can't have this both ways! If sex is soooooo important that an affair would be at all contentious ...... THEN HAVE SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE! OR DIVORCE THEM.
If sex is unimportant (ie, you rarely have it) then it can be no big deal when your normal libido spouse does that unimportant thing elsewhere.


Booooohooooo...then tell your spouse what you are doing.


+1 the logic there is a feat of Nadia Comaneci! Say point blank: I am going to cheat if we don't have sex. Then, he/she can divorce if they don't agree.
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 12:49     Subject: to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So affairs are successful in saving 20% of low sex marriages.


Only assuming they otherwise would have failed, which is an unwarranted assumption.


Given that healthy people with normal libido (especially men) do not live in celibacy, 100% of low sex marriages fail WITHOUT an affair.


Then DIVORCE. Having the affair only makes the divorce more contentious. Much better to end it honorably. This thread is about people trying to justify an affair in a marriage.

That's stupid and benefits nobody. The sexless spouse does not want a divorce (otherwise THEY would divorce).
You can't have this both ways! If sex is soooooo important that an affair would be at all contentious ...... THEN HAVE SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE! OR DIVORCE THEM.
If sex is unimportant (ie, you rarely have it) then it can be no big deal when your normal libido spouse does that unimportant thing elsewhere.


Booooohooooo...then tell your spouse what you are doing.
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 12:11     Subject: to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So affairs are successful in saving 20% of low sex marriages.


Only assuming they otherwise would have failed, which is an unwarranted assumption.


Given that healthy people with normal libido (especially men) do not live in celibacy, 100% of low sex marriages fail WITHOUT an affair.


Then DIVORCE. Having the affair only makes the divorce more contentious. Much better to end it honorably. This thread is about people trying to justify an affair in a marriage.

That's stupid and benefits nobody. The sexless spouse does not want a divorce (otherwise THEY would divorce).
You can't have this both ways! If sex is soooooo important that an affair would be at all contentious ...... THEN HAVE SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE! OR DIVORCE THEM.
If sex is unimportant (ie, you rarely have it) then it can be no big deal when your normal libido spouse does that unimportant thing elsewhere.
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 12:08     Subject: to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So affairs are successful in saving 20% of low sex marriages.


Only assuming they otherwise would have failed, which is an unwarranted assumption.


Given that healthy people with normal libido (especially men) do not live in celibacy, 100% of low sex marriages fail WITHOUT an affair.


You can express an opinion without making up stats, you know.
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 12:06     Subject: Re:to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm part of the 20% who's still with my husband after a long term affair that was never discovered. It depends on the reason for the affair - is it permanent incompatibility or situational?


oh really--so what was your situational reason?


I’m interested to hear her reason too


The situation was she found someone willing to bang her and the “situation” ended when he dumped her.
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 12:05     Subject: Re:to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm part of the 20% who's still with my husband after a long term affair that was never discovered. It depends on the reason for the affair - is it permanent incompatibility or situational?


oh really--so what was your situational reason?


I’m interested to hear her reason too
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 12:04     Subject: to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So affairs are successful in saving 20% of low sex marriages.


Only assuming they otherwise would have failed, which is an unwarranted assumption.


Given that healthy people with normal libido (especially men) do not live in celibacy, 100% of low sex marriages fail WITHOUT an affair.


Then DIVORCE. Having the affair only makes the divorce more contentious. Much better to end it honorably. This thread is about people trying to justify an affair in a marriage.
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 12:02     Subject: to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s not just men having relationships on the dl without their spouse knowing. More that a handful of comments on here from women happily doing so.


That's a given. There are tons of whores on Ashley Madison.


Hey. Don’t shame whores. Not all of them are cheating or breaking up marriages.


I have no problem with single whores that are f@cking people that are also single. They can run an entire train of they wish.
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 12:02     Subject: to sexless marriage guy who says affairs save the marriage...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So affairs are successful in saving 20% of low sex marriages.


Only assuming they otherwise would have failed, which is an unwarranted assumption.


Given that healthy people with normal libido (especially men) do not live in celibacy, 100% of low sex marriages fail WITHOUT an affair.