Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 14:36     Subject: Just picked a college list!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I feel so relieved.

We picked a 1st choice, 2nd choice, 3rd choice. "We" because it was a family decision: we parents wanted low-cost options, and our teen wasn't picky as long as the colleges had the major he wanted and were either close to home or within a context that felt familiar - so one of these choices is in a country that speaks our native language. I know that's not a lot of colleges. But frankly we're done here, and unless he collapses completely, he's certain to get into his 2nd and 3rd picks.



You and your child are SEPARATE PEOPLE. It's your child's list.


Spinster Susan shows up without fail to give you advice you didn't ask for! ALL. THE. TIME.
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 14:31     Subject: Re:Just picked a college list!
While we want to give our DC as much choice as possible in college selection, FINANCES do come into play for many families. So yes, for some, the student's family will have to weigh in on whether or not to sign that loan or fund the next four years.

OP, good luck to your child with their top choice schools. It sounds like your family has talked through the options and that DC is comfortable that any one of those three schools would be a good fit. That's the way to go. Happy for you all!
Anonymous
Post 01/07/2021 14:12     Subject: Just picked a college list!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I feel so relieved.

We picked a 1st choice, 2nd choice, 3rd choice. "We" because it was a family decision: we parents wanted low-cost options, and our teen wasn't picky as long as the colleges had the major he wanted and were either close to home or within a context that felt familiar - so one of these choices is in a country that speaks our native language. I know that's not a lot of colleges. But frankly we're done here, and unless he collapses completely, he's certain to get into his 2nd and 3rd picks.



You and your child are SEPARATE PEOPLE. It's your child's list.


Is your child paying their way?


Do you only buy clothes and music and books for your child that YOU like?

I’ve never understood people who resent meeting their children’s financial needs. Seems like some of you just had a kid so you could tell them what to do.


I mean- yes. I only pay for clothes, music and books that I approve of. They have their allowance if they want something else.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2021 21:09     Subject: Just picked a college list!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I feel so relieved.

We picked a 1st choice, 2nd choice, 3rd choice. "We" because it was a family decision: we parents wanted low-cost options, and our teen wasn't picky as long as the colleges had the major he wanted and were either close to home or within a context that felt familiar - so one of these choices is in a country that speaks our native language. I know that's not a lot of colleges. But frankly we're done here, and unless he collapses completely, he's certain to get into his 2nd and 3rd picks.



You and your child are SEPARATE PEOPLE. It's your child's list.


Physically but not financially and I remind them Of this when they forget


Wow. Just wow.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2021 20:47     Subject: Just picked a college list!
Anonymous wrote:what is the list?


UVA
Radford
University of Padua

Anonymous
Post 01/06/2021 20:42     Subject: Just picked a college list!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I feel so relieved.

We picked a 1st choice, 2nd choice, 3rd choice. "We" because it was a family decision: we parents wanted low-cost options, and our teen wasn't picky as long as the colleges had the major he wanted and were either close to home or within a context that felt familiar - so one of these choices is in a country that speaks our native language. I know that's not a lot of colleges. But frankly we're done here, and unless he collapses completely, he's certain to get into his 2nd and 3rd picks.



You and your child are SEPARATE PEOPLE. It's your child's list.


Physically but not financially and I remind them Of this when they forget
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2021 18:53     Subject: Just picked a college list!
Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I posted because I AM SO RELIEVED. And I needed to share that sentiment

No question, no vent, just sharing. No applications yet. We were agonizing about selecting which schools to apply to because the 11th and 12th grade strategy is very different for universities abroad vs US. The school abroad is McGill (Montreal - French).

You can criticize all you want, I'm just so happy right now.




Congratulations! Unfortunately you picked a bad place to post this, these narcissistic whack jobs don't understand your culture and university system hence the complete foppish American ignorance and related comments. Best to you and your student...as a human note for all of the ridiculous detractors here, informed and respectful family decisions are often successful...try it, you might be pleasantly surprised.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2021 18:36     Subject: Re:Just picked a college list!
Anonymous wrote:I'm with you OP, it's a family decision since you're the one paying for it.

Good luck with the process! It is a roller coaster. You get off, you're relieved, and you are glad you took the ride.



Agree. Congrats, OP! My DH and I certainly have had input in our DS’s college list, for a variety of reasons.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2021 11:45     Subject: Just picked a college list!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I feel so relieved.

We picked a 1st choice, 2nd choice, 3rd choice. "We" because it was a family decision: we parents wanted low-cost options, and our teen wasn't picky as long as the colleges had the major he wanted and were either close to home or within a context that felt familiar - so one of these choices is in a country that speaks our native language. I know that's not a lot of colleges. But frankly we're done here, and unless he collapses completely, he's certain to get into his 2nd and 3rd picks.



You and your child are SEPARATE PEOPLE. It's your child's list.


Is your child paying their way?


Do you only buy clothes and music and books for your child that YOU like?

I’ve never understood people who resent meeting their children’s financial needs. Seems like some of you just had a kid so you could tell them what to do.


+1000 It is not your list!! I would never pick my kid’s college list (or major for that matter). As long as they know the financial parameters, it is completely their decision. Parents around here are so controlling. I will offer advice about what I think, but ultimately my kid’s life. We can pay full tuition for our kids, so maybe this is the difference?
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2021 11:27     Subject: Just picked a college list!
But OP it is still confusing regarding timing. If this is for senior year, you are pretty late. if your child is a junior, I think it is great to have a list, but your and your child's views may change between now and a year from now based on all the college fairs/ virtual visits etc. so maybe this can be a "working" list. At any rate, Im with you on this being a family decision but don't really get why you posted. congrats anyway.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2021 11:05     Subject: Just picked a college list!
OP here.

I posted because I AM SO RELIEVED. And I needed to share that sentiment

No question, no vent, just sharing. No applications yet. We were agonizing about selecting which schools to apply to because the 11th and 12th grade strategy is very different for universities abroad vs US. The school abroad is McGill (Montreal - French).

You can criticize all you want, I'm just so happy right now.


Anonymous
Post 01/06/2021 08:58     Subject: Just picked a college list!
For all the commentary here re the college list being the kid’s own, there’s a weird obsession about what other parents (who don’t even know your DC) will think of your kid’s choice.

Anonymous
Post 01/06/2021 08:55     Subject: Re:Just picked a college list!
Anonymous wrote:OP, what was the point of your post? Is it simply to share your philosophy on selecting colleges for/with your kid, or were you expecting to engage in dialog with other posters? If the latter, dialog on what points, e.g., Having a narrowed-down list of schools? Applying to schools that are cost-effective? Applying to schools that your kid will “certainly get into”? It would be really helpful to frame a post in a way that poses a question or seeks to hear the perspectives of others on a particular point or otherwise engages in dialog with the group.


OP is using this as an anonymous FB post.
Anonymous
Post 01/06/2021 08:54     Subject: Just picked a college list!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I feel so relieved.

We picked a 1st choice, 2nd choice, 3rd choice. "We" because it was a family decision: we parents wanted low-cost options, and our teen wasn't picky as long as the colleges had the major he wanted and were either close to home or within a context that felt familiar - so one of these choices is in a country that speaks our native language. I know that's not a lot of colleges. But frankly we're done here, and unless he collapses completely, he's certain to get into his 2nd and 3rd picks.



So detailed yet so oddly opaque. Why not add the language and school?


Why add them? It’s a different model of college decisionmaking and you don’t need those details to understand it — or to appreciate why OP feels relieved!

Anonymous
Post 01/06/2021 08:42     Subject: Re:Just picked a college list!
OP, what was the point of your post? Is it simply to share your philosophy on selecting colleges for/with your kid, or were you expecting to engage in dialog with other posters? If the latter, dialog on what points, e.g., Having a narrowed-down list of schools? Applying to schools that are cost-effective? Applying to schools that your kid will “certainly get into”? It would be really helpful to frame a post in a way that poses a question or seeks to hear the perspectives of others on a particular point or otherwise engages in dialog with the group.