For me it was one then surprise twins. But I am happy to have three even though I might not have had a third separately (or might not have tried very hard). I like kids, I can afford it, why not? I am not too stressed or tired.

Anonymous wrote:I can understand wanting 2 no matter what; I can understand an oops baby (though I honestly think people just aren’t being careful). But choosing to have 3? Am I just a low energy person that I find it hard to pay as much attention to my only as I would like if I work a regular 9-5?

Just to piss you off.

My friend is low energy. She has 2 and is barely surviving whereas I was 3 bit for financial reasons won't do 3. She thinks I'm nuts. I just like having my kids around.

They are accessory children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think they hire help and don't really even see their kids that much, so they don't think about it being a big deal...

That’s not at all what I see. We have three as do lots of our friends. One of ours has special needs. We had daycare and sometimes we had a cleaner, but not usually. Most of the people we know had a similar level of help. We spend lots of time with our kids and we had them because we love kids. I never thought it was that hard.

How many hours do you each work per week? What do you do for childcare? I frankly see from everyone that I know that if you have more than two kids you have to have one parent that has a very flexible and or no job. That is if you want to spend any time at all with them. Your mileage may vary.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think they hire help and don't really even see their kids that much, so they don't think about it being a big deal...

That’s not at all what I see. We have three as do lots of our friends. One of ours has special needs. We had daycare and sometimes we had a cleaner, but not usually. Most of the people we know had a similar level of help. We spend lots of time with our kids and we had them because we love kids. I never thought it was that hard.

What do you consider lots of time? How much 1-1 time does each child get a day, week with each parent?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because we like kids? What a weird question.

If you liked them so much you would want to spend more time with them

DP with 2 kids. We spend a ton of time with our kids. We have friends with 1 who spend less, they put their kid in front of a tv for hours a day. Similarly I am sure there are parents with three kids who spend more time with their kids than we do. This is a weird argument.

Some people have an idea in their head, and no matter he’ll or high water, they are going to make it happen. Some people have really easy kids and it’s no biggie. Some people have the money to afford really good help. Some people get in over their heads and just make it work until they can’t make it work anymore.

There is no one answer to your question. I think OP is probably a bored 12 year old, but go figure.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think they hire help and don't really even see their kids that much, so they don't think about it being a big deal...

That’s not at all what I see. We have three as do lots of our friends. One of ours has special needs. We had daycare and sometimes we had a cleaner, but not usually. Most of the people we know had a similar level of help. We spend lots of time with our kids and we had them because we love kids. I never thought it was that hard.

Anonymous wrote:hm. I would rather have smart, driven people populating the earth, rather than low-energy, low IQ hamsters. But that's just me. We should be paying and helping the smart people. We need their DNA.

What makes you think everyone who is employeed is smart and everyone who isn’t is dumb? That’s just incredibly myopic. There are plenty of Ivy League grads who choose not to work and plenty of people who never even went to college who are employeed. My 8th grader is smarter than most of the people I work with.

Honestly, I think they hire help and don't really even see their kids that much, so they don't think about it being a big deal...

Anonymous wrote:Because we like kids? What a weird question.

If you liked them so much you would want to spend more time with them

I have 4 kids. We love kids... Its pretty simple. So we sacrifice time money sleep... We just love them.

There's hard times and easier times but I wouldn't trade my kids for anything

Anonymous wrote:Busy-ness is a disease like overachieving. Daughters of narcissistic mothers. I am like this but thankfully my husband put the brakes on number 3. We are very happy with 2 and the pets and life gives you enough without compulsively creating more work.

Your first two sentences are interesting and I hadn’t thought of that. My parents are a bit narcissistic and it made me go overboard the other way. But I can see it causing overboardness in its own similar way too.

How are they spaced? I think it’s doable if you start younger and space them out.