Anonymous wrote:Sorry so digress here, but I have no experience with FMLA. My kids are in their late 20’s. When I had each of them, my DH took a week of vacation and then he was back to work and he traveled each week. So it was bye, bye and good luck. So, are you all government workers that receive this generous FMLA package or is FMLA a guaranteed right once a company employs a certain number of people? No doubt it is a great thing, but wondering how corporations manage up to 12 weeks without a employee for each child. Just fill me in on the basics. And, are you paid for this leave?

More and more companies (although sadly far from all) are making their parental leave policies gender neutral. That's the case at both my and my husband's offices - his office offers 12 weeks paid, for men and women, and he took all of it. My office offers 9 weeks paid, for men and women, and I took all of it, plus three weeks of sick/vacation leave, so we each had 12 weeks paid.

FMLA, or the Family and Medical Leave act was passed during the Clinton administration and has been amended and expanded a bit since then. Basically, it gives you 12 weeks of job protection, for men and women, upon the birth of a child (among other reasons) assuming you've been with the company for at least a year, and the company has more than a certain number of people (originally I think it was 100 or even 200 people, now I think it's 20 or 50, don't remember exactly). This federally-mandated leave, however, does not have to be paid. Offering paid leave, like our companies do, is just an added benefit that a fair number of white-collar offices include.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry so digress here, but I have no experience with FMLA. My kids are in their late 20’s. When I had each of them, my DH took a week of vacation and then he was back to work and he traveled each week. So it was bye, bye and good luck. So, are you all government workers that receive this generous FMLA package or is FMLA a guaranteed right once a company employs a certain number of people? No doubt it is a great thing, but wondering how corporations manage up to 12 weeks without a employee for each child. Just fill me in on the basics. And, are you paid for this leave?

It is the law under FMLA that any company over 50 employees (I think...) who have worked for a year have job protection to care for a newborn, regardless of gender. No it is not paid. Companies can chose to provide "paid" leave but usually that is less than FMLA. For example, im the PP and my husband had two weeks of paid leave via his job and then he took 10 weeks mixed sick leave, vacation, and unpaid. We did not care what the employer thought because frankly it was his right and our daughter would only be a newborn for this amount of time in our lives. Our careers are long. They figured it out and he is back now with no issues.

Sorry so digress here, but I have no experience with FMLA. My kids are in their late 20’s. When I had each of them, my DH took a week of vacation and then he was back to work and he traveled each week. So it was bye, bye and good luck. So, are you all government workers that receive this generous FMLA package or is FMLA a guaranteed right once a company employs a certain number of people? No doubt it is a great thing, but wondering how corporations manage up to 12 weeks without a employee for each child. Just fill me in on the basics. And, are you paid for this leave?

Split but I encourage him to take 12 weeks as is his right under FMLA. It may mean saving but so worth it. My husband took 2 weeks and then 10 when I went back after my 12 weeks and he and my daughter are attached to the hip now.

I would have him do two weeks with you. Then he can do the 4 weeks after you are done with your leave.

Anonymous wrote:OP i want to say that IMO taking care of a bab y all day, especially after the first few weeks, is far more challenging than a regular job even if it involves a lot of work/calls. Therefore I would say you need the sleep and rest at night more than your spouse who is "working" does.

It's just going to depend what kind of baby you get. I had a rough baby and an easy one. Both didn't have issues at night past 2 weeks. They woke, ate, and went to bed. The easy baby and I napped all day together. The difficult baby and I took LONG walks all day everywhere. It was exhausting but the only way he'd sleep.

Also what job your dh has. I wouldn't want my surgeon up all night with a baby, nor even a cop.

OP i want to say that IMO taking care of a bab y all day, especially after the first few weeks, is far more challenging than a regular job even if it involves a lot of work/calls. Therefore I would say you need the sleep and rest at night more than your spouse who is "working" does.