Our donor wasn’t poor or uneducated. She came from a family of doctors.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who are college educated have less financial incentive to go through the unpleasant process of egg donation.

This is what it comes down to.

There’s a certain level of desperation and poverty needed to motivate women to donate eggs. It’s a painful and long process with negative health consequences for the donor. Plus it could adversely affect her ability to have her own children in the future. I had a lot of student loans as an undergrad and seriously considered it, but I couldn’t bring myself to go through with it. Now that I’m older and I have my own children, I’m so relieved I didn’t. I would hate to have my children’s half siblings raised by strangers.

Yep. This is the reason many people think egg donation is an unethical system where wealthy people unfairly take advantage of poor women.

I’m going to do that DCUM thing where you don’t answer the question the OP asks, so I will apologize up front. I used donor egg. Education mattered a lot to me, both because I didn’t want my child to struggle in school and because I wanted my child to have interests similar to me. I love books and school and museums. I went to Yale. I tried to pick an educated donor. My daughter is nothing like me. She’s still little, so who knows who she will become, but I don’t think books and school and museums will be her thing. I think it will be sports and... I don’t know. Whatever else goes along with that? AND THAT’S COMPLETELY OK. I love her more than life itself, and I’m so excited to be along on this ride with her.

So I get it. You need to go through your process. Or at least I did. But if you can take any assurance from an Internet stranger, know that whatever genes your donor gives you will be the right genes for your kid. Because your kid is your kid, and you will love him or her perfectly exactly the way he or she is.

Best wishes!

Anonymous wrote:Just so you know. I have a friend who used donor sperm. They picked someone highly educated , similar physical traits etc. well both kids have issues. One has adhd and autism and the other one adhd and anxiety. Neither run in her family. Turns out now they’ve had contact with other kids from this donor ( online) that other kids have the same thing. So you never know what your gonna her. Even with a 4year degree.

This happens more often than people realize.

We went to an agency and used a donor who we were able to talk to by Skype and whose name we received. She was from Europe, so it’s required that it’s not anonymous. She happened to be in a good college. I think the money was a motivator, but she also seemed to genuinely want to help. Basically a win-win and she feels good emotionally and financially. I’m sure our DD may want to contact her at some point, which is fine.

I get the desire to have a smart kid, but there’s no way to guarantee that. I think lack of a degree can mean lack of money or opportunity. And while I went to a reasonably good school, there were plenty of stupid people there. It’s weird and difficult to have to pick a donor and worry about all the potential baggage or picking the perfect person. For us, being able to talk to the donor made it easier. I wasn’t expecting that, since most here are anonymous, but was happy we got to use a known donor. The first donor we wanted to use was anonymous, but it fell through.

Anonymous wrote:I've looked at SGF's bank and Donor Egg USA, and there are very few donors (maybe 15%) who have completed a 4-year degree. This is regardless of race/ethnicity. Do you find this to be the case with other egg banks?

Op

I think if you want a baby you should be open to non college women's eggs. Just because you dont go to college doesnt make you stupid.

Anonymous wrote:I went to an Ivy League college and I was offered big bucks to donate eggs - I think some families sent letters to students somehow. I never did - my mom suggested I have my own kids first before donating any eggs which I thought was probably good advice.

They spammed the Ivy League student papers and mailing addresses.

Just so you know. I have a friend who used donor sperm. They picked someone highly educated , similar physical traits etc. well both kids have issues. One has adhd and autism and the other one adhd and anxiety. Neither run in her family. Turns out now they’ve had contact with other kids from this donor ( online) that other kids have the same thing. So you never know what your gonna her. Even with a 4year degree.

Anonymous wrote:I went to an Ivy League college and I was offered big bucks to donate eggs - I think some families sent letters to students somehow. I never did - my mom suggested I have my own kids first before donating any eggs which I thought was probably good advice.

There's usually an age cap of 29/30 for donating eggs. So a lot of DCUM and similar women would be too old to donate after having their own children.

Also, I see ads on Craigslist soliciting egg donors all the time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to an Ivy League college and I was offered big bucks to donate eggs - I think some families sent letters to students somehow. I never did - my mom suggested I have my own kids first before donating any eggs which I thought was probably good advice.

I remember ads looking for egg donors in my college (Ivy) newspaper. They were offering quite a bit of money.

People are right that it's not something that people are going to do for a little extra spending money -- it's an involved process with future health implications.

They never pay as much as they say! I responded to one of the Ivy League ads that offered $50,000 and they were actually offering $10,000. Which isn’t nothing but still.

Anonymous wrote:I went to an Ivy League college and I was offered big bucks to donate eggs - I think some families sent letters to students somehow. I never did - my mom suggested I have my own kids first before donating any eggs which I thought was probably good advice.

I remember ads looking for egg donors in my college (Ivy) newspaper. They were offering quite a bit of money.

People are right that it's not something that people are going to do for a little extra spending money -- it's an involved process with future health implications.

I donated eggs. I was a college student at the time. I wouldn’t do it now because it requires multiple doctors visits per week — not compatible with a job.

Also yes, you can lie. I had to prove that I went to the college I said I did. But no one checked on my hobbies, family history, etc (not sure how they would). I was pretty disappointed in that my agency (considered top tier) encouraged me to lie and put “heterosexual” for my sexual orientation which is not true. This was 10 years ago though, maybe they don’t do that now.

I guess women were more open to donation long ago. It does cost $$ however.

Anonymous wrote:Women who are college educated have less financial incentive to go through the unpleasant process of egg donation.

This is what it comes down to.

There’s a certain level of desperation and poverty needed to motivate women to donate eggs. It’s a painful and long process with negative health consequences for the donor. Plus it could adversely affect her ability to have her own children in the future. I had a lot of student loans as an undergrad and seriously considered it, but I couldn’t bring myself to go through with it. Now that I’m older and I have my own children, I’m so relieved I didn’t. I would hate to have my children’s half siblings raised by strangers.

I went to an Ivy League college and I was offered big bucks to donate eggs - I think some families sent letters to students somehow. I never did - my mom suggested I have my own kids first before donating any eggs which I thought was probably good advice.