Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 16:01     Subject: Tokophobia
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I was anxious about my first labor. I didn’t (couldn’t) do any research. So I went into labor not having a clue. I got an epidural and told my nurse basically to help me get the baby out. I had no idea what I was doing. It was scary but worked out. Your body just knows what to do. And if not you are surrounded by people who will take care of it.

When I got pregnant again I was able to research childbirth for some reason. Maybe because I knew I had survived once. I took natural childbirth lessons and had that baby without any medications. I enjoyed it so much I wanted to get pregnant again just to do it again. It was very empowering and way more enjoyable than my first experience.

You will get through it. If you prefer a c section go for it. I was always more scared of that to be honest. So if you aren’t that may be an easy solution for you. The recovery is no harder.


Nope, not new here, but apparently YOU run the show! Thanks for the tips.


oops wrote back to the wrong person Disregard
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 15:50     Subject: Tokophobia
Anonymous wrote:I was anxious about my first labor. I didn’t (couldn’t) do any research. So I went into labor not having a clue. I got an epidural and told my nurse basically to help me get the baby out. I had no idea what I was doing. It was scary but worked out. Your body just knows what to do. And if not you are surrounded by people who will take care of it.

When I got pregnant again I was able to research childbirth for some reason. Maybe because I knew I had survived once. I took natural childbirth lessons and had that baby without any medications. I enjoyed it so much I wanted to get pregnant again just to do it again. It was very empowering and way more enjoyable than my first experience.

You will get through it. If you prefer a c section go for it. I was always more scared of that to be honest. So if you aren’t that may be an easy solution for you. The recovery is no harder.


Nope, not new here, but apparently YOU run the show! Thanks for the tips.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 15:46     Subject: Re:Tokophobia
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don't know how this has become a group discussion about the right way to give birth, but its disheartening. My original question was asking if anyone experienced this fear. Thanks
PP here. I did have tokophobia during my pregnancy. I just had this foreboding feeling that it wouldn't go well. I tried to reassure myself with the statistics that I would most likely be ok, but unfortunately I sustained a lot of unusual injuries during delivery. I think if I could go back in time, I would have a c-section or find a way to guarantee that it would be my personal OB who would deliver me and not a game of Russian-roulette based on who is on call. I also think having a doula to advocate for me would have helped (because of Covid I was barely allowed to have my husband let alone an outside support person). Have you thought about getting a doula?


damn, this scares me more.
I didn't mean for it scare you! I just wanted to honestly answer the question and to provide my opinion on what could have helped me (a doula and care from my regular OB). I'm an outlier for sure and many women will have successful vaginal deliveries. It just sucks when the statistic happens to you. You always think it'll be someone else.


I wont be able to be delivered by my regular Ob. Hoping for the best
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 15:44     Subject: Tokophobia
I was anxious about my first labor. I didn’t (couldn’t) do any research. So I went into labor not having a clue. I got an epidural and told my nurse basically to help me get the baby out. I had no idea what I was doing. It was scary but worked out. Your body just knows what to do. And if not you are surrounded by people who will take care of it.

When I got pregnant again I was able to research childbirth for some reason. Maybe because I knew I had survived once. I took natural childbirth lessons and had that baby without any medications. I enjoyed it so much I wanted to get pregnant again just to do it again. It was very empowering and way more enjoyable than my first experience.

You will get through it. If you prefer a c section go for it. I was always more scared of that to be honest. So if you aren’t that may be an easy solution for you. The recovery is no harder.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 15:01     Subject: Re:Tokophobia
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don't know how this has become a group discussion about the right way to give birth, but its disheartening. My original question was asking if anyone experienced this fear. Thanks


Okay, you're the same OP who posted about your severe anxiety recently. First of all, stop thinking you can control the conversation on dcum! Are you new here?? This is not the place for supportive feedback tailored to your specifications. Second of all, STOP GOING ON THE INTERNET!!!!!!!!!! Stop researching. Stop reading. Stop going on message boards. Stop. DISTRACT YOURSELF HOWEVER YOU CAN. Write down any worries you experience during the week and then talk about them with your therapist, NOT DCUM.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 14:36     Subject: Re:Tokophobia
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don't know how this has become a group discussion about the right way to give birth, but its disheartening. My original question was asking if anyone experienced this fear. Thanks
PP here. I did have tokophobia during my pregnancy. I just had this foreboding feeling that it wouldn't go well. I tried to reassure myself with the statistics that I would most likely be ok, but unfortunately I sustained a lot of unusual injuries during delivery. I think if I could go back in time, I would have a c-section or find a way to guarantee that it would be my personal OB who would deliver me and not a game of Russian-roulette based on who is on call. I also think having a doula to advocate for me would have helped (because of Covid I was barely allowed to have my husband let alone an outside support person). Have you thought about getting a doula?


damn, this scares me more.
I didn't mean for it scare you! I just wanted to honestly answer the question and to provide my opinion on what could have helped me (a doula and care from my regular OB). I'm an outlier for sure and many women will have successful vaginal deliveries. It just sucks when the statistic happens to you. You always think it'll be someone else.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 14:06     Subject: Re:Tokophobia
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don't know how this has become a group discussion about the right way to give birth, but its disheartening. My original question was asking if anyone experienced this fear. Thanks
PP here. I did have tokophobia during my pregnancy. I just had this foreboding feeling that it wouldn't go well. I tried to reassure myself with the statistics that I would most likely be ok, but unfortunately I sustained a lot of unusual injuries during delivery. I think if I could go back in time, I would have a c-section or find a way to guarantee that it would be my personal OB who would deliver me and not a game of Russian-roulette based on who is on call. I also think having a doula to advocate for me would have helped (because of Covid I was barely allowed to have my husband let alone an outside support person). Have you thought about getting a doula?


damn, this scares me more.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 13:59     Subject: Re:Tokophobia
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don't know how this has become a group discussion about the right way to give birth, but its disheartening. My original question was asking if anyone experienced this fear. Thanks
PP here. I did have tokophobia during my pregnancy. I just had this foreboding feeling that it wouldn't go well. I tried to reassure myself with the statistics that I would most likely be ok, but unfortunately I sustained a lot of unusual injuries during delivery. I think if I could go back in time, I would have a c-section or find a way to guarantee that it would be my personal OB who would deliver me and not a game of Russian-roulette based on who is on call. I also think having a doula to advocate for me would have helped (because of Covid I was barely allowed to have my husband let alone an outside support person). Have you thought about getting a doula?
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 13:31     Subject: Re:Tokophobia
Op here. I don't know how this has become a group discussion about the right way to give birth, but its disheartening. My original question was asking if anyone experienced this fear. Thanks
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 13:17     Subject: Re:Tokophobia
It makes me so sad when I see women arguing about the right way to give birth and tearing each other down. There should be anger about how birth is managed in the US, but that anger should be aimed squarely at OBs and midwives. The truth is that 97% of women will give birth vaginally and will have a relatively easy time of it, but 3% will suffer with serious complications. Unfortunately, there isn't a concrete way to figure out who fall into that group. If you have a serious fear of vaginal birth that therapy can't resolve, you should be allowed to have a c-section without judgment from your doctor or strangers on the internet. There are risks to both modes of delivery and at the end of the day you have to choose what you can tolerate the most.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 13:09     Subject: Re:Tokophobia
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My OB agreed to an elective c-section. It's upcoming so I can't tell you how it will go, but my anxiety went waaaay down once my date for the c-section was set.


No good doctor would agree to unnecessary major surgery!


This could instill a lot of fear about c sections. Lots of people have them. This post is for someone who has a fear of childbirth and could possibly need a c section. Your response is not helpful.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 12:23     Subject: Re:Tokophobia
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My OB agreed to an elective c-section. It's upcoming so I can't tell you how it will go, but my anxiety went waaaay down once my date for the c-section was set.


No good doctor would agree to unnecessary major surgery!


Read the ACOG guidelines. Medical ethics dictates that the patient had the right to choose and the OB who is ethically conflicted on this must refer them to one who will do it.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 09:49     Subject: Re:Tokophobia
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My OB agreed to an elective c-section. It's upcoming so I can't tell you how it will go, but my anxiety went waaaay down once my date for the c-section was set.


No good doctor would agree to unnecessary major surgery!


+100. It’s normal to be worried about giving birth. Your doctor needs to try to help you prepare.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 09:36     Subject: Re:Tokophobia
Anonymous wrote:My vaginal birth recovery was SO much easier than a c-section and the pain of labor was nbd with the epidural. Most of them are.


I likely have to get a c section, but thanks.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2020 08:31     Subject: Re:Tokophobia
My vaginal birth recovery was SO much easier than a c-section and the pain of labor was nbd with the epidural. Most of them are.