Anonymous wrote:Many men are asexual. Its such a self esteem killer. Sitting in conversations where women complain their husband's hound them for sex makes it even worse.

This is why I thinks it's actually worse for women. I have to endure my friends laugh about all the ways they avoid their hot dog husbands and I can't get mine to look at me.

I’m wondering if this was started by the OP whose feelings were hurt the other morning when her husband rudely rebuffed her feelings of desire towards him. If so, I’m glad she started this post. Going along the other thread, it doesn’t seem to be an isolated incident.
At first I thought he must be having an affair (which is absolutely happening, even with covid) but then I got to thinking about it and I wonder if he isn’t terribly depressed. Often times depression presents as anger, self-loathing and a feeling of being undesirable regardless of the actions of others.
OP, I hope you’re ok. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m sure it’s very demoralizing but there’s a good chance it has nothing to do with you and is simply a side effect of how low he’s feeling. So many people need good therapy right now. Maybe this is something that could help. Best to you.

Been there done that. Or didn't do it, as the case may be. I know he wasn't having an affair. Pretty sure not gay. Was never all that sexually driven which was one of the attractions initially when I was in my 20's and every other guy seemed to want nothing else. Finally through DS being diagnosed we realized that DH has high functioning autism and I think it's related to that. Sensory issues. Definitely also just very very low drive. I ended up having an affair and I left him. Not my proudest moment, but not being hugged, kissed, or even snuggled in bed (separate bedrooms) for 10 years really wears on a person.

It's cliche, but women expect to be wanted. They're supposed to be claiming a headache, not trying to seduce their husbands. OP, I feel for you. I was sexually completely dead for years and then realized that my own depression and anxiety were partially caused by this lack of intimacy and affection. I'm so much happier now.