My husband grew up in Manhattan and got out as quickly as he could (boarding school in NE and then college). We met in NYC when we were both working there and he was adamant that he was not raising kids in NY.

This could be a generational thing but DH and all of his nyc friends have terrible relationships with their parents. Everyone is a bit whacko. After awhile the city just gets to you. Cold. Jaded. Detached from how 90% of the rest of America lives.

My niece is being raised in Park Slope and my brother and SIL have really dug their heals in, deciding it’s the ideal place to be. Even as their friends pick up and leave for more space and fresh air in upstate NY, PA etc.

I have a good friend raising kids in manhattan. Agree that the kids seem to grow up a little fast, but I tend to really enjoy people I know that grew up in nyc. The ones I know are mature, open minded, sophisticated but not snobby, adventurous, well educated, capable ( in many ways- they can't mow a lawn or drive that well perhaps), and have a sense of humor.

It is important to be able to escape sometimes.

Probably one of the worst places. Grew up in the city and left as soon as I could after college. So did most of my friends. It’s not a place for kids to grow up, it’s a place to have fun and make good money. Nobody moves to NYC because they are looking for the best environment for their children, they do it because it’s exciting for themselves. There’s nothing awesome about growing up in a cramped apartment and having to fend for yourself. You grow up way too quick in the city and you’re exposed to things you really shouldn’t be. I vowed to not put my kids through that misery, they’re growing up in a 5,000 sq ft house with a giant backyard, a neighborhood pool and tennis court, excellent neighborhood schools (the schools in the city suck unless you’re getting into a specialized or Hunter or one of the performing arts schools), riding bikes, going fishing on the lake, etc. It’s how kids are meant to grow up. They visit grandma and grandpa every summer to get their “city fun” and my parents take them to Central Park and do the whole tourist thing but then they come home and have a chance to be kids again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not necessarily, and I am saying it as someone who’s lived in NYC since 1992 and still likes it. I am strictly a city person (grew up in a city of about 1.5M in Europe), but even I see that there are pluses and minuses everywhere.

Like what for NYC?

Pluses: you can have pretty much anything you want/need within reach. However much of a freak you are - you’ll find your people here, your kind of food/music/theater/etc here. Whatever your lifestyle and parenting philosophy is, therewill be other people and services/activities geared toward people just like you. If you have always dreamed about doing a button accordion family quintet with your kids, you’ll be able to find a teacher who will help you accomplish it. Kids are getting around on their own from about age 11-12, so their activities are not limited by your availability to drive them. It’s a big deal for the teenagers, and city kids are, generally, less sheltered. My two oldest are in college, and they said they feel much older than some of their classmates who were thoroughly supervised 24/7 up until they were dropped off at the dorm.

Minuses: it is more expensive here. Having a car is a hassle and not particularly convenient. As I said, I grew up in a city, my parents never owned a car, so I am used to this lifestyle, but for some people being at least somewhat dependent on public transportation and/or walking may be an issue. But the biggest minus is the schools. Given the enormous social and cultural diversity of the kids’ backgrounds, no one seems to be able to come up with a solution that would work well for everyone, so it’s literally a constant “you snooze, you lose” situation. Some of the things that are being proposed now are exactly how things used to be when my brother went to public schools in NYC, and all the bright eyed and socially conscious crowd thinks it’s going to be the silver bullet, but I remember how well it worked then. Not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think NYC is an amazing place to raise kids but I would not choose it because children who grow up in NYC wind up with a weird bubble mentality (like oddly provincial) that I think makes it hard for them to live elsewhere as adults and also makes them kind of obnoxious. So while NYC is great, I would probably choose Seattle.

I've thought about it a lot. Seattle is beautiful, has fantastic universities, wonderful arts and culture, lots of industry. The people are sophisticated and interesting. It's diverse with a massive immigrant community. It has gotten quite pricy but is still light years more affordable than NYC. And the public schools are better than in NYC, so more kids go there, especially for high school. And people there are remarkably well balanced -- lots of careerists but people still care about art, books, travel, nature. And it's less money/prestige-focused than NYC, especially among the UMC.

The major downside is that it is more isolated than anywhere on the East Coast. But that is tempered by the proximity of Vancouver and the fact that you can fly anywhere out of SeaTac. Public transportation is still a work in progress, but actually better than most cities out west.

Have you ever lived in Seattle? The people are horrific. There's even a name for it- "the seattle freeze". Your kids will probably grow up to have social disorders/ social anxiety issues

Yes, I went to college there. I loved it. People in NYC are not exactly "warm" to be honest. It can be a very harsh place.

And where did you grow up?

For me, no. NYC is too much. Too loud ( before Covid obviously) High in crime and taxes. Love to visit and would consider suburb ( ie Connecticut or NJ or maybe NY suburb but, not NYC. where I could visit and take in the musicals etc but, would prefer quiet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think NYC is an amazing place to raise kids but I would not choose it because children who grow up in NYC wind up with a weird bubble mentality (like oddly provincial) that I think makes it hard for them to live elsewhere as adults and also makes them kind of obnoxious. So while NYC is great, I would probably choose Seattle.

I've thought about it a lot. Seattle is beautiful, has fantastic universities, wonderful arts and culture, lots of industry. The people are sophisticated and interesting. It's diverse with a massive immigrant community. It has gotten quite pricy but is still light years more affordable than NYC. And the public schools are better than in NYC, so more kids go there, especially for high school. And people there are remarkably well balanced -- lots of careerists but people still care about art, books, travel, nature. And it's less money/prestige-focused than NYC, especially among the UMC.

The major downside is that it is more isolated than anywhere on the East Coast. But that is tempered by the proximity of Vancouver and the fact that you can fly anywhere out of SeaTac. Public transportation is still a work in progress, but actually better than most cities out west.

Have you ever lived in Seattle? The people are horrific. There's even a name for it- "the seattle freeze". Your kids will probably grow up to have social disorders/ social anxiety issues

Yes, I went to college there. I loved it. People in NYC are not exactly "warm" to be honest. It can be a very harsh place.

Anonymous wrote:I think NYC is an amazing place to raise kids but I would not choose it because children who grow up in NYC wind up with a weird bubble mentality (like oddly provincial) that I think makes it hard for them to live elsewhere as adults and also makes them kind of obnoxious. So while NYC is great, I would probably choose Seattle.

I've thought about it a lot. Seattle is beautiful, has fantastic universities, wonderful arts and culture, lots of industry. The people are sophisticated and interesting. It's diverse with a massive immigrant community. It has gotten quite pricy but is still light years more affordable than NYC. And the public schools are better than in NYC, so more kids go there, especially for high school. And people there are remarkably well balanced -- lots of careerists but people still care about art, books, travel, nature. And it's less money/prestige-focused than NYC, especially among the UMC.

The major downside is that it is more isolated than anywhere on the East Coast. But that is tempered by the proximity of Vancouver and the fact that you can fly anywhere out of SeaTac. Public transportation is still a work in progress, but actually better than most cities out west.

Have you ever lived in Seattle? The people are horrific. There's even a name for it- "the seattle freeze". Your kids will probably grow up to have social disorders/ social anxiety issues

Sounds miserable.

Anonymous wrote:I think NYC is an amazing place to raise kids but I would not choose it because children who grow up in NYC wind up with a weird bubble mentality (like oddly provincial) that I think makes it hard for them to live elsewhere as adults and also makes them kind of obnoxious. So while NYC is great, I would probably choose Seattle.

Tell us more about how the kids are provincial

I think NYC is an amazing place to raise kids but I would not choose it because children who grow up in NYC wind up with a weird bubble mentality (like oddly provincial) that I think makes it hard for them to live elsewhere as adults and also makes them kind of obnoxious. So while NYC is great, I would probably choose Seattle.

I've thought about it a lot. Seattle is beautiful, has fantastic universities, wonderful arts and culture, lots of industry. The people are sophisticated and interesting. It's diverse with a massive immigrant community. It has gotten quite pricy but is still light years more affordable than NYC. And the public schools are better than in NYC, so more kids go there, especially for high school. And people there are remarkably well balanced -- lots of careerists but people still care about art, books, travel, nature. And it's less money/prestige-focused than NYC, especially among the UMC.

The major downside is that it is more isolated than anywhere on the East Coast. But that is tempered by the proximity of Vancouver and the fact that you can fly anywhere out of SeaTac. Public transportation is still a work in progress, but actually better than most cities out west.

Anonymous wrote:Not necessarily, and I am saying it as someone who’s lived in NYC since 1992 and still likes it. I am strictly a city person (grew up in a city of about 1.5M in Europe), but even I see that there are pluses and minuses everywhere.

Like what for NYC?

Not necessarily, and I am saying it as someone who’s lived in NYC since 1992 and still likes it. I am strictly a city person (grew up in a city of about 1.5M in Europe), but even I see that there are pluses and minuses everywhere.

If you have a literally unlimited budget I really don’t think it matters where you raise your kids.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. Nowhere on the east coast.

I've lived elsewhere and would never NOT want to live on the east coast.

+10000

Nowhere else compares. It's also the most civilized place to live, in the US at least

+10000 I grew up a military brat and the East Coast is by far my favorite place.

Yep. I've lived all over. Will never live anywhere else. I do wish all the complainers would move back to wherever they crawled out of, so the traffic would get better! And then the people would all be east coast natives, which tend to be the most fun to be around, imo Or east coast lovers who grew up elsewhere, which I will tolerate