Anonymous
Post 12/15/2020 09:30     Subject: Don't want to be called beautiful
Mine calls me woman. As in, “what’s up, woman?” Or “woman, did me a drink.” Or “know your place, woman.”
Anonymous
Post 12/15/2020 09:27     Subject: Re:Don't want to be called beautiful
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Actually I don't really like being called 'beautiful.' It makes me feel objectified."


DCUM, month 3 of dating: I told my BF “being called beautiful makes me feel objectified” and asked him to stop.

DCUM, year 5/10 of marriage: my husband never tells me I’m beautiful!


New poster here. There's a huge difference between being called "Beautiful" as if that's your name, and being told you look beautiful sometimes.


Okay, so tell him that. OP hasn’t.

But also know that the message itself may get clouded.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 19:43     Subject: Don't want to be called beautiful
Tell him you love hearing him say your name and that “Beautiful,” while it’s an amazing compliment, feels kind of generic to you.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 19:43     Subject: Re:Don't want to be called beautiful
Anonymous wrote:The more I read through this the more creepy and irritating he seems.




+1
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 19:43     Subject: Don't want to be called beautiful
Tell him!! You have to get these thing straightened out in the beginning, otherwise it’ll just get more and more awkward.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 19:41     Subject: Re:Don't want to be called beautiful
The more I read through this the more creepy and irritating he seems.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 19:40     Subject: Don't want to be called beautiful
Anonymous wrote:I get you OP - it’s a bit cheesy and weird. I would be very turned off by that. It’s even a little condescending - like calling someone “little girl” as if you have no other identity than your gender and appearance. It’s also kind of slimy, as if he thinks he’s just god’s gift to women and bestowing you the favor of being considered “beautiful.” Are you sure he’s a good cultural/intelligence/values fit for you?


I agree with this. I think also him affirming his choice in you.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 19:36     Subject: Don't want to be called beautiful
I have self-esteem issues, but HATED being called beautiful. It annoyed me because I am me and hate being objectified. I did however, have no problem steering clear of anyone who would call me beautiful. Come up with something more original and meaningful.
OP-if you like him address it. If not, break up.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 19:32     Subject: Don't want to be called beautiful
I knew a guy that would call girls beautiful so that he wouldn't mess up when dating multiple people at a time.

If he answered the phone with the wrong name well that's awkward isn't it.

At the end of the day this is your problem. I agree with other posters that ask why can't you speak up for yourself. That is the bigger problem.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 14:42     Subject: Re:Don't want to be called beautiful
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Actually I don't really like being called 'beautiful.' It makes me feel objectified."


DCUM, month 3 of dating: I told my BF “being called beautiful makes me feel objectified” and asked him to stop.

DCUM, year 5/10 of marriage: my husband never tells me I’m beautiful!


New poster here. There's a huge difference between being called "Beautiful" as if that's your name, and being told you look beautiful sometimes.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 13:43     Subject: Re:Don't want to be called beautiful
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Actually I don't really like being called 'beautiful.' It makes me feel objectified."


DCUM, month 3 of dating: I told my BF “being called beautiful makes me feel objectified” and asked him to stop.

DCUM, year 5/10 of marriage: my husband never tells me I’m beautiful!


Funny (and true) however this example does not include a specific request. It leaves things open-ended such that a conversation could be had where they'd, potentially, learn more about each other and whether they'd want to move forward.


I’m the first PP, and I agree with your assessment. The problem is people in the herr an now have little insight into what they want in the future, and the things that we gripe about early on can have impacts.

OP sounds like she may have esteem issues, which will play their part later on no matter what pet name he calls her.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 13:42     Subject: Don't want to be called beautiful
Anonymous wrote:I am one of five sisters. When we were young, there was a guy in our neighborhood who addressed each of us as "beautiful". We were/are beautiful, but I think it's because he didn't know our names. Does the guy know your name? I'm serious. Another thought is that he addresses you that way to guarantee he doesn't call you by his last gf's name....


People that are dating multiple people, or recently broken up do this. Also is there are from other cultures it’s a common term of endearment. Many of my exes called me Beautiful. I didn’t realize why until later. I did ask them to use my name more often though.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 13:07     Subject: Re:Don't want to be called beautiful
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Actually I don't really like being called 'beautiful.' It makes me feel objectified."


DCUM, month 3 of dating: I told my BF “being called beautiful makes me feel objectified” and asked him to stop.

DCUM, year 5/10 of marriage: my husband never tells me I’m beautiful!



More like DCUM my great BF of 3 mos dumped me I keep getting dumped and I don't know what I'm.doing wrong. My bestie says it's because I'm difficult, but I think she's jealous because I'm prettier than she is. I what say you DCUM?
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 12:58     Subject: Re:Don't want to be called beautiful
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Actually I don't really like being called 'beautiful.' It makes me feel objectified."


DCUM, month 3 of dating: I told my BF “being called beautiful makes me feel objectified” and asked him to stop.

DCUM, year 5/10 of marriage: my husband never tells me I’m beautiful!


Funny (and true) however this example does not include a specific request. It leaves things open-ended such that a conversation could be had where they'd, potentially, learn more about each other and whether they'd want to move forward.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 12:29     Subject: Don't want to be called beautiful
Being beautiful (even if you are really beautiful) is like being a potato under your sink. Your shelf life before turning fungus heavy is very short. Enjoy it.