Anonymous wrote:Stitchfix

Basic Betty who follows “influencers” but is “too busy to shop” with her “media job”.

Stitchfix

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gorsuch

Aspirational SAHM with an Executive Husband (actually a Financial Planner, but she has no idea what he does and can't explain it to people). Overweight and named her kids Aspirational names like Griffin or Boden or Valentina or Talon or Vivien or Lennon. Pretends to be friendly but not interested unless she thinks you're Someone.

So Tuckernuck Mom all grown up?

Anonymous wrote:Gorsuch

Aspirational SAHM with an Executive Husband (actually a Financial Planner, but she has no idea what he does and can't explain it to people). Overweight and named her kids Aspirational names like Griffin or Boden or Valentina or Talon or Vivien or Lennon. Pretends to be friendly but not interested unless she thinks you're Someone.

Anonymous wrote:COS

Super thin, very chic late 20s-mid 30s European woman (Italian or French come to mind) who relocated to DC for work. Probably lives in Dupont or in the vicinity of the 14/U corridor. Likes to buy the bulk of her clothes back home when visiting family, but COS will do for a quick thing when she's stateside. Always gets compliments for her outfits when out and about.

Anonymous wrote:Tuckernuck

Not from a big city, but "made it" in DC by marrying a similarly situated political consultant, lobbyist, or "man about town." Now does everything by the book -- lives in Spring Valley, is eyeing Beauvoir for her 2 children, and wants to project an image of "young and up-and-coming DC society dame" (if over a certain age, tried to befriend Sally Quinn). Figures looking "preppy" is the way to go. Tuckernuck is in Georgetown (chic! prestigious!) and her friends in the neighborhood all speak well of it -- an item from there is PERFECT for the casual charity wine night they plan to do. Makes sure to wear her Tuckernuck cap to SoulCycle and to take a picture with the instructor afterwards proclaiming front-row status (podium if she's lucky) and then posting a boomerang story with a caption about how "blessed" she is to have her "Soul fam" (#soulpeoplearethebestpeople!) with the logo of her extremely expensive car prominently displayed on the steering wheel. Already secured Insta handles for her kids when they were in the womb. Thinks Millie's the a place to "see and be seen."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:GAP

Born the middle child in a middle class family from middle America, Larla is too frugal to shop at Banana Republic but thinks the clothes at Old Navy are for the poors. She wouldn't be caught dead buying Safeway Select food, but rarely sets foot in a Whole Foods. Larla shops at the GAP but has been known to purchase her children's clothing from Gymboree - the sticker shock she experienced at Janie and Jack was too much for her. She drives a certified pre-owned Honda Civic and lives in Alexandria, the part in Fairfax County.

Omg Im dying, I love GAP. I drive a Honda and dont buy safeway select brands or shop in whole foods.

Anonymous wrote:^ Oh, and my prompt is:

Talbots.

Middle-aged women who are tired of hunting around for appropriate clothing of decent quality, especially if they have out on a few pounds and/or don’t want their bra straps hanging out and their thighs not out there. Not trying to be hot, just respectably attired. Guilty as charged - has replaced Lord and Taylor as my go-to store of choice if I have an occasion where I must get something that will do today without going to a million stores.

Neiman Marcus

COS

Tuckernuck

Anonymous wrote:GAP

Born the middle child in a middle class family from middle America, Larla is too frugal to shop at Banana Republic but thinks the clothes at Old Navy are for the poors. She wouldn't be caught dead buying Safeway Select food, but rarely sets foot in a Whole Foods. Larla shops at the GAP but has been known to purchase her children's clothing from Gymboree - the sticker shock she experienced at Janie and Jack was too much for her. She drives a certified pre-owned Honda Civic and lives in Alexandria, the part in Fairfax County.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I submit for your approval or disapproval and snarky comments, my beloved TJ Maxx.

Refuses to wear anything but black polyester that is covered in lint. Has gotten so many throw pillows over the years she doesn’t even remove the long white tags. Into table scaping. Got organized this year and now puts all her pumps in clear plastic bins piled high in her closet. You will not tear her laceless slip on sneakers out of her hands. Her skinny jeans are always stretched out.

(raises hand) Well done!

^ Oh, and my prompt is:

Talbots.

Free People

30-somethings finally making money but trying to recapture the glory of their 20s anyway. Wish they lived in SoCal. Attend at least one music festival a year. Have a record collection. SigO has a prominent facial hair. Parents are norm-core AF.

Anonymous wrote:Everlane

Over-stressed, prestige-obsessed insecure overachiever who left their heart in San Francisco. Going to business school or praying daily for an acceptance from HBS, Wharton, or GSB on the daily. Has read every business book known to man and wears Allbirds unironically. Hates the dating apps but feels pressure to be booed up simply to say they did it. Has a Biden/Harris sign in their window and posts all the “right” woke pictures and hashtags on their carefully curated social media while only motivated by money and prestige in real life. Will talk a HUGE game about “doing good and doing well” and “making a difference” but never take meaningful action.

Free People