Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its fine. That said, 1 glass per night is probably healthier than 2, and absolutely do be mindful about dependence. I believe the research shows that, for women, 1 drink/day decreases mortality but beyond that it tends to increase mortality (risk of breast cancer, etc.).

That said, I have 2 glasses most nights. We can't all do the absolute healthiest thing all the time--you've got to live a little, too.

+100
I also work out every day, and how many of these anti- alcohol posters do that? Is what it is.

If I did this I would be a complete wreck, fwiw. I think people have different tolerances but it does seem like a lot.

Now that it’s winter, could you try tea with milk? Or decaf cafe au lait?

OP, I think its fine. That said, 1 glass per night is probably healthier than 2, and absolutely do be mindful about dependence. I believe the research shows that, for women, 1 drink/day decreases mortality but beyond that it tends to increase mortality (risk of breast cancer, etc.).

That said, I have 2 glasses most nights. We can't all do the absolute healthiest thing all the time--you've got to live a little, too.

Um, why is this in Infants, Toddlers, and Preschool? It’s not the kid who’s boozing it up. Health or Diet would be more appropriate forums.

There is nothing wrong with one glass of wine to relax. My OB actually recommended this to me (one glass red wine) while I was PREGNANT. Literally for the purpose of relaxing at the very end of pregnancy.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I used to live in Italy and most every Italian family I knew and those international expats who took on Italian ways, had a liquor drink every night before dinner (aperitivo) with snacks and a glass of wine with their actual dinner (and an occasional nice lunch). No one would ever dream of calling them alcoholics. You are basically doing the same thing.

No, OP isn’t doing the same thing. OP is using wine as a “drug” to relax and calm her mind. That is very different than drinking to enhance the flavor of food. The effects on mood are also very different than just drinking without food.

OP is doing the equivalent of the come-home-from-work-martini of the 1950s.

I drink sleepy time tea to unwind but I have the stomach of an old man (got my first ulcer at 14) and red wine gives me heartburn.

OP, I used to live in Italy and most every Italian family I knew and those international expats who took on Italian ways, had a liquor drink every night before dinner (aperitivo) with snacks and a glass of wine with their actual dinner (and an occasional nice lunch). No one would ever dream of calling them alcoholics. You are basically doing the same thing.

I’ve pretty much been doing that for 20 years.

Most women think 2 glasses is a huge amount but if it isn’t for you it’s like 1/2 glass for them

I don’t drink caffeine, don’t eat desserts, eat very healthy, work out, do yoga and meditate.

It’s my “vice” bfd!

Look at it weekly. 10-14 glasses a week is probably unhealthy for you and your liver.

Plenty of people I know do this. Plenty.

Anonymous wrote:It's probably fairly normal among upper middle class women, but that doesn't mean you aren't an alcoholic.

Woah this is quite the jump. An alcoholic? I had zero drinks for 17 months (9 months pregnant and first 6 months of my second baby’s life because she woke up so often to nurse). I’ve only started having a glass to unwind over the last couple of months since my baby has finally started to sleep through the night. It started on my husband’s suggestion since he was annoyed that I could only seem to talk about the kids with him and said I needed to “relax”. I will take this week off since everyone is honestly scaring me into thinking this is very unhealthy. I can’t imagine doing yoga for 5-10 mins after bedtime, but I will work on finding peace some other way.

To add, there's not a binary between drinking a glass of wine and medication. I did therapy for PPA and it wasn't a question of medication, I learned strategies for myself that turned off the constant hum of anxiety.

I mean, something caused you to write the post. So give it a break for a while.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Yes I can/have skipped weeks. I don’t go to the liquor store, ever, but occasionally will have a wine delivery to our house. I don’t seek it out or look forward to it all day but have generally noticed that it really helps slow down the unending buzz of what’s next on my to-do list and to focus on things unrelated to the kids. I guess if I’m posting here at all I am obviously a little concerned. I’ve had multiple friends start anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds during the pandemic and I wonder if this is a way of self medicating. I think I’ll do a dry January but will probably miss the relaxing coping mechanism I’ve picked up

OP I think you have answered your own question talking about why you use alcohol.

Like a PP above, my mother started out as a glass of wine a night to take the edge off with small children and ended up a full-blown alcoholic.

The warning I see with you is not how much, but why. You have to find another way to take that edge off. Otherwise, the alcohol will start to own you.

I'm extra careful given what happened to my mom and my test is do I want a glass because I'm stressed? or just because I enjoy the flavor?" If it's because I'm stressed, I try to find another outlet to unwind and take a break from alcohol. For me alcohol is a treat for when I'm in a healthy mental place, not an unhealthy one.