Anonymous
12/06/2020 22:52
Subject: Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
I'm the MOH for a wedding shortly after New Year. The rest of the bridal party dropped out. I'm the last one standing. The bride is my sister. I really REALLY do not want to do this. It involves travel and lots of indoor socializing with lots of people in a state that's in COVID denial and hasn't limited gatherings or encouraged masks. But she's made it clear that she's getting married in a specific time and place, and if people don't show up, well she'll learn to accept the fact that her closest family and friends don't truly love her.
It is beyond selfish, and I don't know how to back out without ruining our relationship for life.
It is beyond selfish, and I don't know how to back out without ruining our relationship for life.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 22:25
Subject: Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
The whole thing sucks right now. We’re having a covid ceremony and too many people are asking to come! We have to figure out how to say no to the people who want the option of attending the “local” event when it’s not an event it’s just us getting legally married so we can move on with our lives as a couple before the bigger wedding reception later!
Anonymous
12/06/2020 22:14
Subject: Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you're worried, don't go. Op's complaint is completely legit. Op, is ridiculous that you had to put up with pressure. Everyone else piling-on against a small group of people standing in a field, and a couple saying, "I Do" --- chill. Not every thing is dangerous.
I spoke yesterday with a friend whose cousin had a "small, outdoor" wedding in upstate New York the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Eighteen out of 30 now have COVID. The hardest hit was a 22-year-old with no health problems who is now in ICU. They wore masks, it was outside...
Wow, really? Were there any indoor events/socializing that happened along with it, do you know? This is making me anxious about seeing my parents outdoors masked/from a distance now...
Upstate New York, after Thanksgiving? Outdoor-only? Masks the entire time? Sounds extremely unlikely to me. Given the time of year and location, they probably had a meal, which was probably indoors. By the way, a tent is equivalent to "indoors" for COVID purposes.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 22:07
Subject: Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you're worried, don't go. Op's complaint is completely legit. Op, is ridiculous that you had to put up with pressure. Everyone else piling-on against a small group of people standing in a field, and a couple saying, "I Do" --- chill. Not every thing is dangerous.
I spoke yesterday with a friend whose cousin had a "small, outdoor" wedding in upstate New York the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Eighteen out of 30 now have COVID. The hardest hit was a 22-year-old with no health problems who is now in ICU. They wore masks, it was outside...
Wow, really? Were there any indoor events/socializing that happened along with it, do you know? This is making me anxious about seeing my parents outdoors masked/from a distance now...
Yes, really. This happened. People say they are being careful. But they freaking lie, or are genuinely clueless. Or they start out careful, then they slip. Like they take the mask off for a photo, and that turns into side-hugs and a 3-minute chat. Or masks come off in the venue's bathroom area, and people chat while waiting their turn.
Many of them probably had Thanksgiving together.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 21:38
Subject: Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you're worried, don't go. Op's complaint is completely legit. Op, is ridiculous that you had to put up with pressure. Everyone else piling-on against a small group of people standing in a field, and a couple saying, "I Do" --- chill. Not every thing is dangerous.
I spoke yesterday with a friend whose cousin had a "small, outdoor" wedding in upstate New York the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Eighteen out of 30 now have COVID. The hardest hit was a 22-year-old with no health problems who is now in ICU. They wore masks, it was outside...
Wow, really? Were there any indoor events/socializing that happened along with it, do you know? This is making me anxious about seeing my parents outdoors masked/from a distance now...
Yes, really. This happened. People say they are being careful. But they freaking lie, or are genuinely clueless. Or they start out careful, then they slip. Like they take the mask off for a photo, and that turns into side-hugs and a 3-minute chat. Or masks come off in the venue's bathroom area, and people chat while waiting their turn.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 21:35
Subject: Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you're worried, don't go. Op's complaint is completely legit. Op, is ridiculous that you had to put up with pressure. Everyone else piling-on against a small group of people standing in a field, and a couple saying, "I Do" --- chill. Not every thing is dangerous.
I spoke yesterday with a friend whose cousin had a "small, outdoor" wedding in upstate New York the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Eighteen out of 30 now have COVID. The hardest hit was a 22-year-old with no health problems who is now in ICU. They wore masks, it was outside...
Wow, really? Were there any indoor events/socializing that happened along with it, do you know? This is making me anxious about seeing my parents outdoors masked/from a distance now...
Perhaps they weren't taking many precautions in their daily lives. If you work from home, have your kids learn from home, get groceries delivered, don't go inside any building except your own home and don't invite others into your home, and have your parents do the same... then it's safe to get together outside WITH masks (no eating or drinking).
Anonymous
12/06/2020 21:33
Subject: Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
As an introvert who was stressed throughout my wedding, I'd love to have an excuse to have a tiny wedding!
Please don't invite people in-person. At all. You can get married just a marriage license. You can meet on Zoom. If you want, you can have a big party when you're vaccinated.
And that way you'll save. Parties are cheaper than "wedding" parties for the same number of people.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 21:28
Subject: Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you're worried, don't go. Op's complaint is completely legit. Op, is ridiculous that you had to put up with pressure. Everyone else piling-on against a small group of people standing in a field, and a couple saying, "I Do" --- chill. Not every thing is dangerous.
I spoke yesterday with a friend whose cousin had a "small, outdoor" wedding in upstate New York the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Eighteen out of 30 now have COVID. The hardest hit was a 22-year-old with no health problems who is now in ICU. They wore masks, it was outside...
Wow, really? Were there any indoor events/socializing that happened along with it, do you know? This is making me anxious about seeing my parents outdoors masked/from a distance now...
Anonymous
12/06/2020 19:48
Subject: Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
Anonymous wrote:Dear guests who don't want to attend:
Thank you for your honesty. I understand we are making different choices and that you don't like mine. Please don't make me feel guilty that I still need to move on with my life and don't ask me to reschedule or make me feel guilty for "not including" you
enough with the "we are making a choice that works for us" crap and really try to grow up. I could not care less if you elope or have a 500 guest wedding in normal times, but this is a pandemic for God's sake and your choices unfortunately affect other people. the two idiots who had a 60 people wedding in Maine in the summer with church ceremony and even indoor reception afterwards directly caused the death of 7 people, none of whom was a guest at the wedding, and hundreds of sick people. you are making a choice that is good for you but is screwing everybody else. Japan has a third of the population of the US and only just over 2000 death instead of almost 300K, maybe having less people who make their own choices works better in a pandemic. you can move on with your life by getting married, no need for the ceremony full of friends. I understand it sucks but it sucks also having kids that will do a year of distance learning on the computer instead of going to school, loosing jobs, being stuck at home for months, being unable to travel to see older family members, getting sick, dying and these are things that millions of people have experienced. see the post of the guy who cannot accept his father died of Covid alone at the hospital. and you talk about a wedding with guest "making your onw choices" ??? and you have the guts to complain that people try to make you feel guilty!
Anonymous
12/06/2020 18:28
Subject: Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
Anonymous wrote:Dear guests who don't want to attend:
Thank you for your honesty. I understand we are making different choices and that you don't like mine. Please don't make me feel guilty that I still need to move on with my life and don't ask me to reschedule or make me feel guilty for "not including" you
It's a party. It's not "moving on with your life". You're choosing to risk people's deaths so you can have a party and wear a pretty dress. It's not something you need.
If you need to get married, and that can be a legit need, then do that, but don't invite people.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 18:24
Subject: Re:Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am so stressed about my stepsons wedding on NYE. I’m praying Northam helps me out and brings the limit down to 10 person gatherings.
I believe he cannot limit the number of people in the actual church for the actual wedding, correct?
Don’t go. Why do you need the governor to tell you that? You know it’s a bad idea.
I know I know but then I’m the evil stepmother. What if I say I don’t feel comfortable and then dh doesn’t? (He doesn’t) I’ll be blamed. Ahhhhhhhh. And I know not going is the right thing for us. And it’s selfish of them to ask. DH is almost 70 but I still feel that pressure because he’ll be so upset if his father doesn’t go.
All these lovely excuses will help you sleep at night of one of you gets sick, or worse.
Your best bet is to fake being very ill about 4 days before the event. You will need to find a way to present a fever.
Hey, I'm not above using my powers for good. I'm a good liar, and good actor, and a Lisa Vamderpump-level manipulator. I would absolutely do this to save my life and protect many people.
I’m sitting here in shock. You are talking to the girl who was a gold medal liar in high school. I just need to get back to my roots. DUH. I think DH and I will come down with influenza type A about December 29. What I do for work would even let me make a lab report for him.
THANK YOU. Fake fever is super easy - hair dryer on the thermometer
Anonymous
12/06/2020 18:21
Subject: Re:Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am so stressed about my stepsons wedding on NYE. I’m praying Northam helps me out and brings the limit down to 10 person gatherings.
I believe he cannot limit the number of people in the actual church for the actual wedding, correct?
Don’t go. Why do you need the governor to tell you that? You know it’s a bad idea.
I know I know but then I’m the evil stepmother. What if I say I don’t feel comfortable and then dh doesn’t? (He doesn’t) I’ll be blamed. Ahhhhhhhh. And I know not going is the right thing for us. And it’s selfish of them to ask. DH is almost 70 but I still feel that pressure because he’ll be so upset if his father doesn’t go.
All these lovely excuses will help you sleep at night of one of you gets sick, or worse.
Your best bet is to fake being very ill about 4 days before the event. You will need to find a way to present a fever.
I’m sitting here in shock. You are talking to the girl who was a gold medal liar in high school. I just need to get back to my roots. DUH. I think DH and I will come down with influenza type A about December 29. What I do for work would even let me make a lab report for him.
THANK YOU. Fake fever is super easy - hair dryer on the thermometer
Anonymous
12/06/2020 18:12
Subject: Re:Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
My husband and I are the best man and maid of honor in two different 2021 weddings and we are ripping our hair out over them. Our friends don’t want to make any alterations to the plans AT ALL, and we are both in the process of planning bachelor/bachelorette parties and a bridal shower that we will not attend (but will pay our portion of and book everything for). I’m going nuts.. nuts.. NUTS. I’ve been MOH before and the pandemic version makes the ordinary duties look like a walk in the park.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 18:09
Subject: Re:Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am so stressed about my stepsons wedding on NYE. I’m praying Northam helps me out and brings the limit down to 10 person gatherings.
I believe he cannot limit the number of people in the actual church for the actual wedding, correct?
Don’t go. Why do you need the governor to tell you that? You know it’s a bad idea.
I know I know but then I’m the evil stepmother. What if I say I don’t feel comfortable and then dh doesn’t? (He doesn’t) I’ll be blamed. Ahhhhhhhh. And I know not going is the right thing for us. And it’s selfish of them to ask. DH is almost 70 but I still feel that pressure because he’ll be so upset if his father doesn’t go.
All these lovely excuses will help you sleep at night of one of you gets sick, or worse.
Your best bet is to fake being very ill about 4 days before the event. You will need to find a way to present a fever.
Anonymous
12/06/2020 18:08
Subject: Re:Dear brides and grooms pressuring people to attend
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am so stressed about my stepsons wedding on NYE. I’m praying Northam helps me out and brings the limit down to 10 person gatherings.
I believe he cannot limit the number of people in the actual church for the actual wedding, correct?
Don’t go. Why do you need the governor to tell you that? You know it’s a bad idea.
I know I know but then I’m the evil stepmother. What if I say I don’t feel comfortable and then dh doesn’t? (He doesn’t) I’ll be blamed. Ahhhhhhhh. And I know not going is the right thing for us. And it’s selfish of them to ask. DH is almost 70 but I still feel that pressure because he’ll be so upset if his father doesn’t go.