Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 18:05     Subject: Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not gaslighting. Yes, Cava is definitely pronounced with two short a’s. And finally, the cucumber-dill,
is called Tzatzitki and it is a sauce. Look it up.

So you’re both wrong. And apparently you’re made for each other.


As someone with a Doc-obsessed child who loves Tzatziki, I adore this post. A bright spot in a weirdly lame thread.


And yet, you're on page 2 of it.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 18:04     Subject: Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Find a hobby or learn a new skill I hear knitting and breadmaking are fun.

Or maybe just pop on Apple TV and watch the Peanuts and CTFO!


Oh, I do not need a hobby. Trust me. I am raising two teenagers with this unemployed weirdo while working full-time. Plenty busy. Thanks though for the thoughtful advice.



Kids aren't a hobby. You need a hobby and possibly therapy.


Point being, no time for a hobby. I'm extremely busy.



Can't be that busy if you have to ruminate and make a thread about this nonsense argument. Fiction writing is also popular, you'd probably be very good at that. Who knows you may end up a popular author and have enough money to move away from the husband that you hate.


I am a writer. I have started, in fits and starts, a novel about life married to a weirdo with a narcissistic mother who makes every day of my life a living hell. It's a real knee-slapper. Unfortunately, I'm just too busy to spend much time on it.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 18:04     Subject: Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not gaslighting. Yes, Cava is definitely pronounced with two short a’s. And finally, the cucumber-dill,
is called Tzatzitki and it is a sauce. Look it up.

So you’re both wrong. And apparently you’re made for each other.


As someone with a Doc-obsessed child who loves Tzatziki, I adore this post. A bright spot in a weirdly lame thread.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 18:01     Subject: Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not gaslighting. Yes, Cava is definitely pronounced with two short a’s. And finally, the cucumber-dill,
is called Tzatzitki and it is a sauce. Look it up.

So you’re both wrong. And apparently you’re made for each other.


So, the short a sound, which my husband uses to say Cava sounds like the a in "have." The a in Cava, should be pronounced "ah" or "aa." As you correctly pointed out, though you don't understand what a short a is. And actually at Cava, they have a tzatziki (check you spelling)--which they describe as a dip or a spread, and they have a yogurt dill dressing--which was the product called into question last night. And we are definitely not made for each other, hence my posting here when I do in fact need to be working.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 17:58     Subject: Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not gaslighting. Yes, Cava is definitely pronounced with two short a’s. And finally, the cucumber-dill,
is called Tzatzitki and it is a sauce. Look it up.

So you’re both wrong. And apparently you’re made for each other.


You can buy the sauce by the bottle in the grocery store too
Just saying
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 17:48     Subject: Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
After hearing your query for a diagnosis, I took it upon myself to consult with Doc McStuffins. Thankfully, she has a diagnosis. This is not NPD. This is a case of the Corona Crazy Cabin-Feverish Babies! Add it to Halle’s big book of boo-boos.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 17:47     Subject: Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
No, it’s not gaslighting. Yes, Cava is definitely pronounced with two short a’s. And finally, the cucumber-dill,
is called Tzatzitki and it is a sauce. Look it up.

So you’re both wrong. And apparently you’re made for each other.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 17:47     Subject: Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Find a hobby or learn a new skill I hear knitting and breadmaking are fun.

Or maybe just pop on Apple TV and watch the Peanuts and CTFO!


Oh, I do not need a hobby. Trust me. I am raising two teenagers with this unemployed weirdo while working full-time. Plenty busy. Thanks though for the thoughtful advice.



Kids aren't a hobby. You need a hobby and possibly therapy.


Point being, no time for a hobby. I'm extremely busy.



Can't be that busy if you have to ruminate and make a thread about this nonsense argument. Fiction writing is also popular, you'd probably be very good at that. Who knows you may end up a popular author and have enough money to move away from the husband that you hate.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 17:44     Subject: Re:Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is not gaslighting. He is pedantic and somewhat stubborn, which I know because my husband is the same way. However, it rarely upsets me (he's always been this way). Occasionally I get exasperated, especially if he's just in a mood and is nitpicking everything. But in those situations, I just give him a very specific look and he says, "Am I being pedantic again?" and I say "Yes!" and we both laugh because we've been married a long time this is just how we are.

I recommend finding some humor in these interactions and learning to let each other know when your little annoyances (we all have them) are crossing a line.


I have been married to him for 21 years. He has never, ever, in all that time, admitted to a single flaw or mistake. He points out mine though. In fact, he gets quite angry when I'm wrong about the stupidest things (he became quietly enraged last week when I said I didn't think the space heater in the basement had a remote control--I had never laid eyes on it, how was I to know?).


Then I don't know, get a divorce? He sounds awful and it doesn't sound like you love each other. Why are you still married?
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 17:43     Subject: Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Find a hobby or learn a new skill I hear knitting and breadmaking are fun.

Or maybe just pop on Apple TV and watch the Peanuts and CTFO!


Oh, I do not need a hobby. Trust me. I am raising two teenagers with this unemployed weirdo while working full-time. Plenty busy. Thanks though for the thoughtful advice.



Kids aren't a hobby. You need a hobby and possibly therapy.


Point being, no time for a hobby. I'm extremely busy.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 17:42     Subject: Re:Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
Anonymous wrote:This is not gaslighting. He is pedantic and somewhat stubborn, which I know because my husband is the same way. However, it rarely upsets me (he's always been this way). Occasionally I get exasperated, especially if he's just in a mood and is nitpicking everything. But in those situations, I just give him a very specific look and he says, "Am I being pedantic again?" and I say "Yes!" and we both laugh because we've been married a long time this is just how we are.

I recommend finding some humor in these interactions and learning to let each other know when your little annoyances (we all have them) are crossing a line.


I have been married to him for 21 years. He has never, ever, in all that time, admitted to a single flaw or mistake. He points out mine though. In fact, he gets quite angry when I'm wrong about the stupidest things (he became quietly enraged last week when I said I didn't think the space heater in the basement had a remote control--I had never laid eyes on it, how was I to know?).
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 17:42     Subject: Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Find a hobby or learn a new skill I hear knitting and breadmaking are fun.

Or maybe just pop on Apple TV and watch the Peanuts and CTFO!


Oh, I do not need a hobby. Trust me. I am raising two teenagers with this unemployed weirdo while working full-time. Plenty busy. Thanks though for the thoughtful advice.



Kids aren't a hobby. You need a hobby and possibly therapy.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 17:39     Subject: Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
Anonymous wrote:Find a hobby or learn a new skill I hear knitting and breadmaking are fun.

Or maybe just pop on Apple TV and watch the Peanuts and CTFO!


Oh, I do not need a hobby. Trust me. I am raising two teenagers with this unemployed weirdo while working full-time. Plenty busy. Thanks though for the thoughtful advice.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 17:38     Subject: Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
Stop engaging in stupid conversations or arguments.
Anonymous
Post 12/05/2020 17:37     Subject: Re:Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?
Anonymous wrote:Instead of asking your DH why he does it, you go to an anonymous forum to ask why your husband does whatever he does. Got it.


I have asked him countless times. He doesn't acknowledge his weird behavior. So I came to the experts on DCUm to see if this was in line with any possible conditions that I believe he has. He was raised by his nanny--his mother has NPD, and just didn't have a normal childhood at all. He has become very hard to talk to at all, so I"m stuck turning to strangers, yes.