This is like the height of mansplaining - “we know what you need and it’s not what every woman says it is” 🙄😂.

I just had my second and she is a different season than her sister, so a few seasonal items would be good if that’s the case here. You might ask she needs accessories for a new double stroller or to make her old stroller a double too - especially things like a new stroller muff for the toddler if the baby one is going to the babies. A friend got our toddler and baby personalized “big” and “little” sister shirts, which were a big hit with my toddler. Maybe matching pajamas would also be fun for them. But honestly I’d ask her.

Anonymous wrote:I had a c-section when my husband was deployed, it was a nightmare but I would have appreciated meals, snacks, lots of diapers, onesies, but no other toys or items.. A onesie that says little sister, and a matching one for the older one that says big sister. A photography session would also be really nice.

You already had a child do why didn't you just buy what you needed? Also, are't you capable of taking a simple picture on your phone?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she have a registry?

No, she doesn’t.

It's a 2nd baby. No shower, no gift registry. No gifts.

Also, there are organization set up to help and assist spouses of partners who have been deployed AND they contact the spouse not deployed. I know this because I know someone whose husband was deployed and every week someone comes over to do her lawn and other things she may need. They also put up outside Christmas decorations for her.

These spouses are not helpless and should stop the "o poor little me" pity parties.

In that situation, little things that i could hand to older DC to keeep them occupied for like 10 mins, worth their weight in gold.
Baby socks, plain
Diaper cream
Baby meds
Basically the consumables that older DC would have used up

I had a c-section when my husband was deployed, it was a nightmare but I would have appreciated meals, snacks, lots of diapers, onesies, but no other toys or items.. A onesie that says little sister, and a matching one for the older one that says big sister. A photography session would also be really nice.

Ask her. Let her know stuff is coming and the guys will pick it out unless further direction in provided.

Oh and swaddle zip ups. You could get a few different kinds. My first two loved hands out and so we used swaddle up but the new one needs to be a burrito.with hands in. A few different kinds in case baby is different from older sibling could be great

For DD3, I bought a lot of clothes for the season. DD1 and 2 were summer babies and 3 is October. So that might be helpful.

One of those stroller sleeping bag things so she can take baby out for a walk - we use ours every day. Again my summer babies did not need them but I would not want to take 3 out without it.

slim low profile bouncer - I have a 6 year old, 2 year old and 2 month old. I constantly need to put baby down to chase toddler, get snack, do potty, so having an easy place to put baby is great. I would not have thought it but having one on each floor or in multiple rooms is great. Sure you can move the bouncer but my 2 year old is constantly on the move so this works for us.

Another high chair - like the space save one or the one that clips to the table. Infant won't use it but they will need it. You could ask her what she plans to buy and then buy that.

Best to check with the mom see what she needs. If she is planning on using diapers, that could be 1 option. Does she have storage for any things that she may need as baby grows ?

Since it’s her 2nd and same sex she may already have things - depending how long ago she had her first, but also she may need some random things, or things that were not available or she didn’t know about when she had her first.

I like the idea of target gift cards, that’s most practical because she can get whatever supplies she’ll need be it diapers, BF needs, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Food and diapers are all I needed.

Not more stuff especially for a military family that probably will move again soon.

That's brilliant. If they're insisting you buy stuff, then yea, just get diapers, wipes. Maybe some infant tylenol.

Honestly if you’re friends with her at all I would ask her what she wants and explain the restrictions your workplace is putting on the gift.

Do you know if her older child born in the same season/climate? I had a spring and then a fall baby and needed different clothes because of the different seasons.

Food and diapers are all I needed.

Not more stuff especially for a military family that probably will move again soon.

The men who think more stuff is a good idea should come up with the list!

Ugh sorry your coworkers are dumb. Yes, stuff for mom would be better - especially a meal train! Or even new toys for older child would be appreciated haha. The last thing she needs is new stuff for the baby!

Military mom here with more than 2. You are spot on - meals! More stuff is just more work and doesn't get used IMO.
Of the toys we got, board books are the most used. But really she needs help in the form of meal prep, cleaning, babysitting, etc.