I would just say it sounds like you have other plans to my brother and sister. I would make plans with my friend and move on.

in normal times I would say that you invited them, they say they cannot commit now, then you need to tell them you are sorry but you are making other plans, end of story. I would also say that it may be a shock to you but maybe even your BIL is happy to travel to Europe instead of spending Christmas with your newborn. I am not sure why you think it's just SIL (the world changed for you after you had your baby, but for everybody else it's just the same and a newborn is really not interesting even for people who like kids, except maybe grandmas).

however, given COVID I am just appalled that a bunch of adults are planning overseas travel and when cannot host family they can handle a Christmas on their own but need to travel hours away to see somebody else. you are all a bunch of immature, dumb people. and I from Europe, travel to see my family twice a year, did not travel the last summer and will not travel this winter. I am crossing my fingers I can travel next summer but I am not even sure. really, you have a child, just stay home and keep yourself and your child safe

In the words of Reddit: ESH

OP, you stated your terms. You don't get to state your terms AND be offended.

Anonymous wrote:None of you should be getting together or traveling.

THIS. THIS. AND YOU HAVE A NEW BABY. YOU ARE NUTS TO TRAVEL.

STAY THE EFF HOME! YOU EFFING MORON.

You're an effing idiot to host anyone and put your baby at risk. Full stop. Bye.

You are overreacting. And you are wrong for traveling to visit friends. Especially with a newborn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord yes, you're overreacting. ALso, who cares that your baby is the first in the family? In what way is that relevant AT ALL?

It’s relevant because SIL wears the pants and prioritizes seeing her own family over BIL’s family and now his new nephew. Apparently I’m alone, but I think she is rude as hell, get I also think the MIL who didn’t respond to the text from the other thread is rude too and most people didn’t.

Well, I don't walk around primed to take offense. It's clear that you don't like your SIL, which is coloring your view of the situation. Your BIL is a grown man, and is just as responsible for the decision not to prioritize his family as his wife is. I have a SIL that I dislike, and she has definitely pushed her husband (my husband's brother) to spend less time with his family, but you know what? He goes along with it, fully. Another brother's wife was similar, but he told her that his family was important to him, and he was going to visit with or without her, and she realized he meant it, and now she fully participates in his family's events. The "wicked SIL" only gets away with it because the actual brother doesn't care enough to push back.

If your SIL is rude, then so is your BIL. They equally committed, and are equally backing out.

This is OP and I agree with everything you wrote. If I am singling her out I guess it’s because we were close to BIL before he married SIL, and this is not her first time agreeing to things and changing for more “desirable” plans. But you’re right it’s BIL too. Just have to accept it as you say and move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good lord yes, you're overreacting. ALso, who cares that your baby is the first in the family? In what way is that relevant AT ALL?

It’s relevant because SIL wears the pants and prioritizes seeing her own family over BIL’s family and now his new nephew. Apparently I’m alone, but I think she is rude as hell, get I also think the MIL who didn’t respond to the text from the other thread is rude too and most people didn’t.

Well, I don't walk around primed to take offense. It's clear that you don't like your SIL, which is coloring your view of the situation. Your BIL is a grown man, and is just as responsible for the decision not to prioritize his family as his wife is. I have a SIL that I dislike, and she has definitely pushed her husband (my husband's brother) to spend less time with his family, but you know what? He goes along with it, fully. Another brother's wife was similar, but he told her that his family was important to him, and he was going to visit with or without her, and she realized he meant it, and now she fully participates in his family's events. The "wicked SIL" only gets away with it because the actual brother doesn't care enough to push back.

If your SIL is rude, then so is your BIL. They equally committed, and are equally backing out.

Anonymous wrote:Cut off all ties with BIL and SIL. Go with your kid and DH to visit your friends.

Are you being sarcastic? I let them know next week is too late and we’ll try another holiday because we are going with our alternate plans.

I can't get past all these different bubbles planning to merge with a newborn. You are all wrong.

Cut off all ties with BIL and SIL. Go with your kid and DH to visit your friends.

In a pandemic? Are you all NUTS!!

Anonymous wrote:Good lord yes, you're overreacting. ALso, who cares that your baby is the first in the family? In what way is that relevant AT ALL?

It’s relevant because SIL wears the pants and prioritizes seeing her own family over BIL’s family and now his new nephew. Apparently I’m alone, but I think she is rude as hell, get I also think the MIL who didn’t respond to the text from the other thread is rude too and most people didn’t.