Anonymous
11/30/2020 15:09
Subject: Re:Both of my children gay or bi
Anonymous wrote:Would you have been surprised if both of your kids were straight?
I don't understand the point of this post.
Why would OP be surprised if her kids were the statistical norm?
I’d be surprised if my kid had 9 or 11 toes, because that is not the “norm”. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had 10 toes because that is the “norm”.
Anonymous
11/30/2020 15:05
Subject: Both of my children gay or bi
There was some research done about different levels of hormones when pregnant causing it.
I do think it's a fad for some kids who are desperate for attention, but I don't think that's enough to explain the increasing numbers.
If it's something to do with hormones in pregnancy then it would make sense that it could affect both siblings.
I do think it's a fad for some kids who are desperate for attention, but I don't think that's enough to explain the increasing numbers.
If it's something to do with hormones in pregnancy then it would make sense that it could affect both siblings.
Anonymous
11/30/2020 07:15
Subject: Both of my children gay or bi
Anonymous wrote:Hi. My 20 yo ds is bi and has been in a same sex relationship for 2 years. Just discovered my 16 yo daughter is in a relationship with her best friend. I have to say, I’m a little surprised about both kids being in same sex relationships. Is this unusual? I’m supportive of both kids, though my dd is not out with this relationship. Based on general discussion with dd BFF, her parents may not be supportive of BFF being lgbtq plus.
I think it's genetic myself.
Anonymous
11/30/2020 07:09
Subject: Re:Both of my children gay or bi
Anonymous wrote:I thought it was well known by now that there’s a genetic component. I know a family of 11 children. 7 of them were gay or lesbian. And they’re now in their 50s-70s, so long before it was “a fad” to be queer.
Religious? Strong potential for abuse there, which can affect LGBTQ status. Grew up in the Catholic Church? Even more likely. There are likely some families where the gay gene is just really strong, some kids who are “trying it out” due to social factors and family acceptance, and there are likely some families where there is abuse at home or in the community that may be a factor in the epigenetics of being LGBTQ.
Anonymous
11/28/2020 13:55
Subject: Re:Both of my children gay or bi
I thought it was well known by now that there’s a genetic component. I know a family of 11 children. 7 of them were gay or lesbian. And they’re now in their 50s-70s, so long before it was “a fad” to be queer.
Anonymous
11/28/2020 13:54
Subject: Both of my children gay or bi
People think it “runs in families” is because in those families it may be more acceptable to be oneself. There may be another family with fewer kids being out because they know it would not be accepted by their family.
Anonymous
11/28/2020 13:15
Subject: Both of my children gay or bi
I've known several siblings like this. The most interesting one was a former boss of mine who also had a gay brother. My boss found out later in life that his father was also probably a closeted gay man/in denial about being gay.
Anonymous
11/28/2020 12:49
Subject: Both of my children gay or bi
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think it’s true that a lot of kids are experimenting with identity and trying on these labels as a teen is trendy right now. That said, I think if kids are actually having relationships then it is well beyond trying on a label. OP is describing her kids as both actually dating someone, not just “coming out” to friends or parents verbally without any non-theoretical attraction. The Kinsey Scale being what it is, I think a lot of kids these days will feel attraction to someone or will feel like they don’t fit a cis stereotype and will jump on the bandwagon of declaring “Oh, I must be bisexual/nonbinary/whatever!” Many of those kids grow up a little and start to actually date and interact with people and may realize, “Oh, just because I am artistic and don’t like sports doesn’t mean I am nonbinary. I can be a cis man and still like what I like.” Or “Oh, just because I feel attracted to Ruby Rose or Kristen Stewart in theory doesn’t mean that I am bisexual, because in real life the only people I actually want to date are men.”
I think this is true about kids experimenting with identity and that actually engaging in relationships is different from trying on a label. My 16 y/o cousin and her female friends all identify as queer, bisexual, or gay but none of them have been in any kind of physical relationship with another girl. Of course this doesn’t mean that they won’t eventually but I do think they appreciate that they have a way to push against gender norms and traditional relationship roles by proudly labeling themselves as not straight. Also, we live in an extremely liberal area of the country where their parents and community really champion coming out and not falling into the straight, white, etc category. Anyhow, I do think actual physical relationships are less likely to be the result of experimenting with identity and, to OPs original point, I have known a few families where multiple children were gay. Luckily, their parents were very supportive and loving which I think made coming out easier.
I’m gay. Been out since college. An old college friend of mine used to say that we had a lot of friends who were okay with us being gay, but that didn’t necessarily equate with them being okay with us having sex with men.
Anonymous
11/28/2020 00:46
Subject: Both of my children gay or bi
Anonymous wrote:I think it’s true that a lot of kids are experimenting with identity and trying on these labels as a teen is trendy right now. That said, I think if kids are actually having relationships then it is well beyond trying on a label. OP is describing her kids as both actually dating someone, not just “coming out” to friends or parents verbally without any non-theoretical attraction. The Kinsey Scale being what it is, I think a lot of kids these days will feel attraction to someone or will feel like they don’t fit a cis stereotype and will jump on the bandwagon of declaring “Oh, I must be bisexual/nonbinary/whatever!” Many of those kids grow up a little and start to actually date and interact with people and may realize, “Oh, just because I am artistic and don’t like sports doesn’t mean I am nonbinary. I can be a cis man and still like what I like.” Or “Oh, just because I feel attracted to Ruby Rose or Kristen Stewart in theory doesn’t mean that I am bisexual, because in real life the only people I actually want to date are men.”
I think this is true about kids experimenting with identity and that actually engaging in relationships is different from trying on a label. My 16 y/o cousin and her female friends all identify as queer, bisexual, or gay but none of them have been in any kind of physical relationship with another girl. Of course this doesn’t mean that they won’t eventually but I do think they appreciate that they have a way to push against gender norms and traditional relationship roles by proudly labeling themselves as not straight. Also, we live in an extremely liberal area of the country where their parents and community really champion coming out and not falling into the straight, white, etc category. Anyhow, I do think actual physical relationships are less likely to be the result of experimenting with identity and, to OPs original point, I have known a few families where multiple children were gay. Luckily, their parents were very supportive and loving which I think made coming out easier.
Anonymous
11/28/2020 00:38
Subject: Both of my children gay or bi
I think it just becomes another cul-de-sac for kids who may already be troubled or “searching” to feel they have to traipse down and “keep an open mind” and give the ol’ college try before they try on enough identities and finally find their permanent adult selves.
Anonymous
11/28/2020 00:27
Subject: Both of my children gay or bi
I think it’s true that a lot of kids are experimenting with identity and trying on these labels as a teen is trendy right now. That said, I think if kids are actually having relationships then it is well beyond trying on a label. OP is describing her kids as both actually dating someone, not just “coming out” to friends or parents verbally without any non-theoretical attraction. The Kinsey Scale being what it is, I think a lot of kids these days will feel attraction to someone or will feel like they don’t fit a cis stereotype and will jump on the bandwagon of declaring “Oh, I must be bisexual/nonbinary/whatever!” Many of those kids grow up a little and start to actually date and interact with people and may realize, “Oh, just because I am artistic and don’t like sports doesn’t mean I am nonbinary. I can be a cis man and still like what I like.” Or “Oh, just because I feel attracted to Ruby Rose or Kristen Stewart in theory doesn’t mean that I am bisexual, because in real life the only people I actually want to date are men.”
Anonymous
11/27/2020 23:33
Subject: Re:Both of my children gay or bi
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:People are going to jump all over me for this comment but in my personal observation, teens deciding they are bi or gay has become very much a fad. It’s the modern day version of rebelling in a safe way. Many of my teens friends have decided they are bi. Many became straight after some time in college.
+1
I cannot imagine having sex with women for years because of a fad.
It’s not a thing. The above PPs are homophobic.
Not homophobic. Just aware that teenagers experiment. It’s what they do. And right now, there’s a lot of support and praise for those who identify as members of the LGBTQ+ community.
And yet only a certain percentage of teens "experiment."
You're reaching for the old "it's just a phase" trope. OP is seeking actual advice/support -- not thinly veiled homophobia. Which is what any response that suggests "your kid isn't really LGBTQ+ -- just wait it out" is saying.
NP. What is homophobia in this context? Obviously, I don’t condone discrimination, bullying, etc.
NP.
It’s dismissive of the extent to which an LGBTQ kid is expressing genuine feelings. People don’t say kids expressing straight sentiments are experimenting. They only say it when a kid is expressing non-straight behaviors.
Anonymous
11/27/2020 23:29
Subject: Re:Both of my children gay or bi
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:People are going to jump all over me for this comment but in my personal observation, teens deciding they are bi or gay has become very much a fad. It’s the modern day version of rebelling in a safe way. Many of my teens friends have decided they are bi. Many became straight after some time in college.
+1
I cannot imagine having sex with women for years because of a fad.
It’s not a thing. The above PPs are homophobic.
Not homophobic. Just aware that teenagers experiment. It’s what they do. And right now, there’s a lot of support and praise for those who identify as members of the LGBTQ+ community.
And yet only a certain percentage of teens "experiment."
You're reaching for the old "it's just a phase" trope. OP is seeking actual advice/support -- not thinly veiled homophobia. Which is what any response that suggests "your kid isn't really LGBTQ+ -- just wait it out" is saying.
NP. What is homophobia in this context? Obviously, I don’t condone discrimination, bullying, etc.
Anonymous
11/27/2020 23:19
Subject: Re:Both of my children gay or bi
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:People are going to jump all over me for this comment but in my personal observation, teens deciding they are bi or gay has become very much a fad. It’s the modern day version of rebelling in a safe way. Many of my teens friends have decided they are bi. Many became straight after some time in college.
+1
I cannot imagine having sex with women for years because of a fad.
It’s not a thing. The above PPs are homophobic.
Not homophobic. Just aware that teenagers experiment. It’s what they do. And right now, there’s a lot of support and praise for those who identify as members of the LGBTQ+ community.
And yet only a certain percentage of teens "experiment."
You're reaching for the old "it's just a phase" trope. OP is seeking actual advice/support -- not thinly veiled homophobia. Which is what any response that suggests "your kid isn't really LGBTQ+ -- just wait it out" is saying.
Anonymous
11/27/2020 22:44
Subject: Re:Both of my children gay or bi
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:People are going to jump all over me for this comment but in my personal observation, teens deciding they are bi or gay has become very much a fad. It’s the modern day version of rebelling in a safe way. Many of my teens friends have decided they are bi. Many became straight after some time in college.
+1
I cannot imagine having sex with women for years because of a fad.
It’s not a thing. The above PPs are homophobic.
Not homophobic. Just aware that teenagers experiment. It’s what they do. And right now, there’s a lot of support and praise for those who identify as members of the LGBTQ+ community.