Anonymous wrote:I skimmed the article. When I did, I knew that there would be people chiming in to defend the coach and saying that they played under similar coachees who made them tough.

Regardless of the coaching you received in your youth, times have changed. Behavior that would not be acceptable coming from a teacher, a workplace supervisor, or in any other professional setting should not be tolerated in sports. I know that some will disagree, but the line between tough coaching and abuse should not be a fine one.

I have a child who was a competitive gymnast and have done extensive reading about abuse in that sport. Good coaching begins with respect for the athletes, and it requires extensive communication. As parents, we should not sit back and let emotional and psychological abuse happen to our kids. I allowed it for one of my children, and I will regret it forever. Fortunately, I finally saw the light. My child no longer plays the sport at an elite or even a high level, but the child is happier, healthier, and a better student.

Don't allow yourself to be blinded by wins or praise of your child. No sport is worth it.

Anonymous wrote:I skimmed the article. When I did, I knew that there would be people chiming in to defend the coach and saying that they played under similar coachees who made them tough.

Regardless of the coaching you received in your youth, times have changed. Behavior that would not be acceptable coming from a teacher, a workplace supervisor, or in any other professional setting should not be tolerated in sports. I know that some will disagree, but the line between tough coaching and abuse should not be a fine one.

I have a child who was a competitive gymnast and have done extensive reading about abuse in that sport. Good coaching begins with respect for the athletes, and it requires extensive communication. As parents, we should not sit back and let emotional and psychological abuse happen to our kids. I allowed it for one of my children, and I will regret it forever. Fortunately, I finally saw the light. My child no longer plays the sport at an elite or even a high level, but the child is happier, healthier, and a better student.

Don't allow yourself to be blinded by wins or praise of your child. No sport is worth it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That described my youth travel girl's soccer coach (played for him from 4th grade-Junior year HS). We were undefeated for nearly 4 years. 5 State Championships won, Eastern Regionals, every WAGs/every year, every tournament.

This was very common in the way coaches talked to players in the 70s/80s, even girls.

It made me tough as balls. We were deprived water on 90+degree days and made to run laps. We had balls kicked directly at us by college players. We were called derogatory names if we were playing bad or made a mistake.

I asked my mother why none of the parents ever complained and she said "because you were winning'.

I did not coach my boys' rec teams because I almost found myself reverting to sh*t my coach used to say to us when I was a player---yikes. I had my husband coach instead.

My daughter has run into a few female coaches who are like what you described. The girls played not to make a mistake and there is no joy in games or practice. They played to not get yelled at or draw the wrath of the coach. I remember asking her why everyone was out of breath when the coach was talking/yelling at them after a short sprint to the coach. DD said the girls pretended to be out of breath so they did not have to engage to the coach. Of course a few parents loved her..what a great coach, she yells during games, she is so tough, etc. These are the same parents who never went to one practice and saw the coach bully, belittle, make them cry, etc every practice.

The joyless practices and games are the worst. They were not playing. You have to take risk, and actually “play” ie be crafty, experiment, move out of your comfort zone, etc during practice and games.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That described my youth travel girl's soccer coach (played for him from 4th grade-Junior year HS). We were undefeated for nearly 4 years. 5 State Championships won, Eastern Regionals, every WAGs/every year, every tournament.

This was very common in the way coaches talked to players in the 70s/80s, even girls.

It made me tough as balls. We were deprived water on 90+degree days and made to run laps. We had balls kicked directly at us by college players. We were called derogatory names if we were playing bad or made a mistake.

I asked my mother why none of the parents ever complained and she said "because you were winning'.

I did not coach my boys' rec teams because I almost found myself reverting to sh*t my coach used to say to us when I was a player---yikes. I had my husband coach instead.

My daughter has run into a few female coaches who are like what you described. The girls played not to make a mistake and there is no joy in games or practice. They played to not get yelled at or draw the wrath of the coach. I remember asking her why everyone was out of breath when the coach was talking/yelling at them after a short sprint to the coach. DD said the girls pretended to be out of breath so they did not have to engage to the coach. Of course a few parents loved her..what a great coach, she yells during games, she is so tough, etc. These are the same parents who never went to one practice and saw the coach bully, belittle, make them cry, etc every practice.

The joyless practices and games are the worst. They were not playing. You have to take risk, and actually “play” ie be crafty, experiment, move out of your comfort zone, etc during practice and games.

Anonymous wrote:Times change. American U women’s soccer fired their coach last year(?) for similar reason. The yelling belittling coaches are not making kids “tough” they are just yelling and belittling players.

Anonymous wrote:That described my youth travel girl's soccer coach (played for him from 4th grade-Junior year HS). We were undefeated for nearly 4 years. 5 State Championships won, Eastern Regionals, every WAGs/every year, every tournament.

This was very common in the way coaches talked to players in the 70s/80s, even girls.

It made me tough as balls. We were deprived water on 90+degree days and made to run laps. We had balls kicked directly at us by college players. We were called derogatory names if we were playing bad or made a mistake.

I asked my mother why none of the parents ever complained and she said "because you were winning'.

I did not coach my boys' rec teams because I almost found myself reverting to sh*t my coach used to say to us when I was a player---yikes. I had my husband coach instead.