Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he has an apartment, he stays there. Why the drama?

Normal parental pressure to have everyone home for the holidays? All his roommates are leaving for home and we obviously live out of state. He seems open to staying but I just feel guilty he will wake up Christmas morning alone. (I know, I know we are still 6 weeks away.)

I would say less drama than mom- guilt.

My mother is deferring to me on this and my DH doesn’t care. So it appears to just be my problem that I am blowing out of proportion.

You're really overthinking this. He's 20 and he'll be fine alone. What's the point of also paying for a hotel for him? That makes no sense. Your son also sounds irresponsible and selfish if he can't follow the rules to ensure his grandmother doesn't literally risk her life. You've raised a brat and I am not surprised he won't follow your rules.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he has an apartment, he stays there. Why the drama?

Normal parental pressure to have everyone home for the holidays? All his roommates are leaving for home and we obviously live out of state. He seems open to staying but I just feel guilty he will wake up Christmas morning alone. (I know, I know we are still 6 weeks away.)

I would say less drama than mom- guilt.

My mother is deferring to me on this and my DH doesn’t care. So it appears to just be my problem that I am blowing out of proportion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Our biggest issue is that he wants to come and go when he gets home. We don’t have a basement (ranch style home) so it would be hard to keep him and his grandmother completely separate. He has an apartment in his college town (where he has had in person classes). I’m leaning towards just telling him to stay in Indiana until classes restart. He can do what he wants and I don’t have to worry about my mother being exposed.

Does he want to come home? I'm not sure why it would be necessary for him to stay home completely if he came back, so long as he took proper precautions. I'd say no bars, restaurants, or going in friends' houses, but if he's willing to socialize only outside and with a mask this seems low risk.

Not to be morbid but my mother wouldn’t make it through an illness at this point. Her mind is sharp but her body is failing (which is torturous to see as a daughter, but I digress). I can’t have my son out hanging in a backyard and bring home a cold which contributes to her demise. Like I said, morbid, but she is old and lived a great life. I guess I am trying to protect him too. Ugh, the sandwich generation.

Sounds excessive if you don’t even want him to bring home a cold. I believe it is important to balance everyone’s needs. I would let him come home but tell him to only socialize outdoors and with a limited friend group. Don’t you want to spend time with him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Our biggest issue is that he wants to come and go when he gets home. We don’t have a basement (ranch style home) so it would be hard to keep him and his grandmother completely separate. He has an apartment in his college town (where he has had in person classes). I’m leaning towards just telling him to stay in Indiana until classes restart. He can do what he wants and I don’t have to worry about my mother being exposed.

Does he want to come home? I'm not sure why it would be necessary for him to stay home completely if he came back, so long as he took proper precautions. I'd say no bars, restaurants, or going in friends' houses, but if he's willing to socialize only outside and with a mask this seems low risk.

Not to be morbid but my mother wouldn’t make it through an illness at this point. Her mind is sharp but her body is failing (which is torturous to see as a daughter, but I digress). I can’t have my son out hanging in a backyard and bring home a cold which contributes to her demise. Like I said, morbid, but she is old and lived a great life. I guess I am trying to protect him too. Ugh, the sandwich generation.

Sounds excessive if you don’t even want him to bring home a cold. I believe it is important to balance everyone’s needs. I would let him come home but tell him to only socialize outdoors and with a limited friend group. Don’t you want to spend time with him?

Anonymous wrote:If he has an apartment, he stays there. Why the drama?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Our biggest issue is that he wants to come and go when he gets home. We don’t have a basement (ranch style home) so it would be hard to keep him and his grandmother completely separate. He has an apartment in his college town (where he has had in person classes). I’m leaning towards just telling him to stay in Indiana until classes restart. He can do what he wants and I don’t have to worry about my mother being exposed.

Does he want to come home? I'm not sure why it would be necessary for him to stay home completely if he came back, so long as he took proper precautions. I'd say no bars, restaurants, or going in friends' houses, but if he's willing to socialize only outside and with a mask this seems low risk.

Not to be morbid but my mother wouldn’t make it through an illness at this point. Her mind is sharp but her body is failing (which is torturous to see as a daughter, but I digress). I can’t have my son out hanging in a backyard and bring home a cold which contributes to her demise. Like I said, morbid, but she is old and lived a great life. I guess I am trying to protect him too. Ugh, the sandwich generation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Our biggest issue is that he wants to come and go when he gets home. We don’t have a basement (ranch style home) so it would be hard to keep him and his grandmother completely separate. He has an apartment in his college town (where he has had in person classes). I’m leaning towards just telling him to stay in Indiana until classes restart. He can do what he wants and I don’t have to worry about my mother being exposed.

Does he want to come home? I'm not sure why it would be necessary for him to stay home completely if he came back, so long as he took proper precautions. I'd say no bars, restaurants, or going in friends' houses, but if he's willing to socialize only outside and with a mask this seems low risk.

Not to be morbid but my mother wouldn’t make it through an illness at this point. Her mind is sharp but her body is failing (which is torturous to see as a daughter, but I digress). I can’t have my son out hanging in a backyard and bring home a cold which contributes to her demise. Like I said, morbid, but she is old and lived a great life. I guess I am trying to protect him too. Ugh, the sandwich generation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Our biggest issue is that he wants to come and go when he gets home. We don’t have a basement (ranch style home) so it would be hard to keep him and his grandmother completely separate. He has an apartment in his college town (where he has had in person classes). I’m leaning towards just telling him to stay in Indiana until classes restart. He can do what he wants and I don’t have to worry about my mother being exposed.

This sounds like the best solution.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Our biggest issue is that he wants to come and go when he gets home. We don’t have a basement (ranch style home) so it would be hard to keep him and his grandmother completely separate. He has an apartment in his college town (where he has had in person classes). I’m leaning towards just telling him to stay in Indiana until classes restart. He can do what he wants and I don’t have to worry about my mother being exposed.

Does he want to come home? I'm not sure why it would be necessary for him to stay home completely if he came back, so long as he took proper precautions. I'd say no bars, restaurants, or going in friends' houses, but if he's willing to socialize only outside and with a mask this seems low risk.