At this point with only 4 more years of school left, just stay where you are and move once your son graduates and at that point you can go with or without your dh. But if you have to move because where you are renting then it might makes some sense. I also would start saving in an individual account going forward so that you can have money of your own to buy a house once your son graduates. I get that it’s important to you but not everyone appreciates the value of home ownership or wants to own a home, especially after 15 years of renting. With home ownership comes a lot of work that your dh may not be up for — yard work, leaves, tree problems , new roofs, painting, new appliances, replacing floors/carpets, slow drains, general maintenance, etc. Maybe he’s not up for it physically and mentally.

Anonymous wrote:You were kind of low-key with explaining the TBI, but that’s huge. My husband has TBI and it took us a while to realize that any change in our life makes it way worse. I’m not sure how recent or severe the TBI is, but your DH may be aware that he’s barely treading water and able to cover a lot of the anxiety/executive function issues/etc in your current setup and realize that any change would be worse. I would keep my kid in the current school cluster and save for buying a place in retirement. Maybe somewhere walkable and easily manageable and with really pleasant weather, especially if the impact from the TBI proves to be long-term.

+1

This plus the fact that your son has only a few more years left in the house's school district makes me see things his way.

Buying a townhouse is stupid.

Anonymous wrote:Is there any way forward to compromise on any of this? I don't want a dream house. I just want to OWN a house. But equally important is my son's education, and I think he'd be better off moving from our currently zoned high school (he starts next year). He has friends from sports and earlier private school in several other high school clusters, so he won't be friendless if I switch him.

Why do you think your son would be better moving from your currently zoned high school? If everyone agrees, you, DH, and son, it would actually be better to rent in the other zone so you have an option to more easily switch back if it didn’t work out and also so you aren’t tied to buying in an area where you are paying for great schools that your son would only use for four years.

Have you and your DH talked about retirement or where you would live after son is out of high school? I think if there is a compromise to be had, maybe it’s in where you live after your son graduates - then you aren’t tied to a school cluster. Also at some point commute won’t be an issue. You could buy and rent it out and if you aren’t ready to live there yet or if it is a retirement place. Also that could steer you towards a townhouse versus a SFH or maybe someplace more walkable.

Be kinder to your husband. A house isn't everything.

Why does he get to decide? Can you buy it on your own?

You’re asking about a real estate and relationship issue when the real issue is his mental health. How is he treating his anxiety?