It may be easier if you just make a rule that 2 is NEVER allowed in 7s room. Letting her go in sometimes encourages more tantrums because she knows she might get her way,

Anonymous wrote:It's not your 7 year olds fault that you aren't capable of being a parent.

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they don’t share a room it is not fair to allow younger daughter in older daughter’s room when you know it will wreak havoc. Sounds like you are doing it for your own convenience because you are tired of saying no. Can you put a gate or something in the hallway? I think you just keep telling her no and redirect her.

+1

Don’t let your 2yo be a brat and destroy the 7 yo’s stuff. NO with consequences.

And I know a family with this age difference where the “baby” can do no wrong and the older child is now resentful of parents and “baby”.

And eventually the older daughter is going to be a teen who hates her younger sister. It’s so sad how parents set up kids for a lifetime of resentment.

Anonymous wrote:It’s actually extremely reasonable to not allow the 2 year old into your older DD’s room. I like the idea of the sign for younger DD to know it’s OK to go on, but
I don’t think she has to let her in daily.

Note - your baby will remember none of this. Your 7 year old will remember all of this.

And it’s going to destroy their relationship as the girls get older. The 7 year old will remember how you met her sister destroy her stuff and tried to make her the de facto babysitter. You’re setting up a terrible sister (and parent) dynamic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a sign that's red on one side and green on the other, hang it with yarn on 7's door. Have 7 keep her door closed all the time. Teach 2 that when the sign is green she can go in and when it's red she can't.

Tell 7 that once a day she has to make the sign green when 2 wants to go in, and it would be smart of her to direct 2 to things 7 is okay with her playing with. Also teach 2 she needs permission to touch other people's things.

What is wrong with you?

Op, the 7 year old's room is off limits period. Put up a gate, and then deal with your two year old.

Interesting. So you want the 7 year old to be more of a parent than mom.

Wow. You are a jerk to allow your younger daughter to mess up her sister’s stuff in HER room. You need to be a parent and say NO.

This isn’t hard.

At 2 years old, ambiguity is going to lead to tantrums.

You need to tell her she’s not allowed in her big sister’s room. Period. If she goes in, she gets a time out. I think you should imagine what you would do if your 2 year old found your work computer on your office desk and decided it was most fun you ever! If you can keep your 2 year old from destroying your work stuff, your jewelry and kitchen stuff, you can keep her out of her sister’s room. You just have to care about your older child.

I have the same age gap and the rule is, big sister’s room is off limits.

Anonymous wrote:Get a sign that's red on one side and green on the other, hang it with yarn on 7's door. Have 7 keep her door closed all the time. Teach 2 that when the sign is green she can go in and when it's red she can't.

Tell 7 that once a day she has to make the sign green when 2 wants to go in, and it would be smart of her to direct 2 to things 7 is okay with her playing with. Also teach 2 she needs permission to touch other people's things.

What is wrong with you?

Op, the 7 year old's room is off limits period. Put up a gate, and then deal with your two year old.

I have an 8 y/o and a 2 y/o. Big sis does her part by keeping her special toys in her room, including the dollhouse and extensive small-toy setup. She lets little sis in to play sometimes, but sometimes she wants along time. All the toys in the common play room are fair game, though, and I do encourage them to play cooperatively (they do a great job!) If little sis is getting frustrated I redirect to something she really loves (stickers and art right now) in separate space with me. Not fair for a very patient big sis to be a toddler tornado victim in her space IMO.

It’s actually extremely reasonable to not allow the 2 year old into your older DD’s room. I like the idea of the sign for younger DD to know it’s OK to go on, but
I don’t think she has to let her in daily.

Note - your baby will remember none of this. Your 7 year old will remember all of this.

Chances OP comes back and recognizes how poorly she's handling this? Slim to none.

Anonymous wrote:So the 2 year old has their own bedroom and a playroom, but is fully entitled to enter your older daughter's space and wreck havoc. You would rather have your oldest know she matters less.

Don't forget that they also tell her it's her fault for leaving toys where the 2 year old can reach. What horrible parents.

So the 2 year old has their own bedroom and a playroom, but is fully entitled to enter your older daughter's space and wreck havoc. You would rather have your oldest know she matters less.

Your poor 7 year old. You guys are crappy parents.

We deal with the two year olds tantrums. Crying doesn’t mean that he gets to go into his older brothers room, especially if that light break his Legos.

You have this backwards.