Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 16:41     Subject: Re:Slept with friend
Ghost him so he will create his own thread here.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 16:10     Subject: Slept with friend
So, who was pity-fuccing who? Confusing story bro.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 16:05     Subject: Slept with friend
What’s keeping you from just going with it? You cared enough to hook up with him. Are you sure there are no feelings there on your part? Are you sure he’s not what you want?
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 15:54     Subject: Slept with friend
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you used him


OP here. He made the first move. We were never romantic before yesterday. He made the attempt to have sex. I never would have.


This is a terrible excuse and you should never say this again when discussing what happened. Do you have so little self control that you need to sleep with someone just because they make an attempt/move on you? Even though you would never have slept with them otherwise? And somehow...this excuses you.

Imagine if a woman posted here, saying she had been in love with her male friend for a long time, made a move, and then he told her that he only slept with her because she made a move on him and he would never have otherwise had sex with her.


And don’t tell him you wish it hadn’t happened or it was a mistake or anything like that. He obviously is glad that it happened so that would just hurt his feelings.



+1 I feel sorry for him. And I think their friendship is over because OP doesn't appear to care very much about his feelings, and the fact that he's the one who is going to be emotionally hurt here.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 15:51     Subject: Slept with friend
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you used him


OP here. He made the first move. We were never romantic before yesterday. He made the attempt to have sex. I never would have.


This is a terrible excuse and you should never say this again when discussing what happened. Do you have so little self control that you need to sleep with someone just because they make an attempt/move on you? Even though you would never have slept with them otherwise? And somehow...this excuses you.

Imagine if a woman posted here, saying she had been in love with her male friend for a long time, made a move, and then he told her that he only slept with her because she made a move on him and he would never have otherwise had sex with her.


And don’t tell him you wish it hadn’t happened or it was a mistake or anything like that. He obviously is glad that it happened so that would just hurt his feelings.

Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 15:43     Subject: Slept with friend
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Say hey the sex was great but it was a one time thing I enjoyed but not looking for more not looking for anything other than continuing our friendship. If he ask why, say that is how I feel, respect or don’t. Whichever you choose, please do not peruse a romantic relationship with me or that will be the end of our friendship.


OP here. It isn't even so much him. I'm fresh out of a very long and serious relationship that I thought was it. We were making plans to get engaged and then he just broke up with me. He decided he didn't want marriage or kids and felt I deserved someone who did. I'm still very hurt and not in a place to date or get serious with anyone.


Then tell your friend that.


Agree. Tell him the truth.

But you should be prepared that he may not want to go back to the way things were. Sex will really kill a friendship.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 15:43     Subject: Slept with friend
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you used him


OP here. He made the first move. We were never romantic before yesterday. He made the attempt to have sex. I never would have.


This is a terrible excuse and you should never say this again when discussing what happened. Do you have so little self control that you need to sleep with someone just because they make an attempt/move on you? Even though you would never have slept with them otherwise? And somehow...this excuses you.

Imagine if a woman posted here, saying she had been in love with her male friend for a long time, made a move, and then he told her that he only slept with her because she made a move on him and he would never have otherwise had sex with her.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 15:38     Subject: Slept with friend

If he made the first move, then just tell him kindly that continuing a romantic relationship is not possible. Emphasize that you have a lot of affection for him as a friend, and that he holds a meaningful place in your life.

Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 15:37     Subject: Slept with friend
OP here. The sex was good but no BJ was given and none won’t. Turning this into a fwb will confuse things more since he has real feelings and wants to date. I have options besides him for casual sex.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 15:26     Subject: Slept with friend
So you're going to sleep with him once and then friendzone? Good luck with that. If the sex was good, hit it a few times and at least enjoy. It's easier to stay casual and then stay friends, or say "hey not sure I have those feelings but let's hang out a bit" while keeping your options open. If the sex wasn't good, yeah a quick BJ will help let him down gently.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 15:22     Subject: Slept with friend
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Say hey the sex was great but it was a one time thing I enjoyed but not looking for more not looking for anything other than continuing our friendship. If he ask why, say that is how I feel, respect or don’t. Whichever you choose, please do not peruse a romantic relationship with me or that will be the end of our friendship.


OP here. It isn't even so much him. I'm fresh out of a very long and serious relationship that I thought was it. We were making plans to get engaged and then he just broke up with me. He decided he didn't want marriage or kids and felt I deserved someone who did. I'm still very hurt and not in a place to date or get serious with anyone.


You don’t need to give reasons.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 15:05     Subject: Slept with friend
It's not going to work out if he has actual feelings. My best friend is a man, when we travel together and drink a bit we usually end up sleeping together. But both of us ignore it and have a "what happens in city stays in city" attitude.

The sex is good, but I don't have any real feelings for him and I think that's mutual.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 14:59     Subject: Slept with friend
Would you consider FWB? After getting out of a serious relationship, I slept with a friend who I found out later had had a crush on me for years. We ended up being FWB for about a year until I found someone I actually wanted to have a romantic relationship with and stopped the sex part of the relationship. He found someone too and now we are both married and still friends.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 14:59     Subject: Re:Slept with friend
You crossed the friendship line and and it will be tough to go back without some hard feelings.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2020 14:51     Subject: Slept with friend
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You could let him know, but seriously, you should at least give him a parting BJ. would be a great kindness.


OP here. This will not be happening.


Honestly, if I were him, and I got no parting connection to provide comfort I would feel very hurt and probably never talk to you again. I would want you to know that, were I him, that in doing what we did, and then not seeing me worthy of a follow up, you have really hurt my core.


Are you insane?