Anonymous
Post 11/03/2020 14:53     Subject: Re:Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
Anonymous wrote:I give money by writing a check. Life is too short to buy people the gift they want. I want to give the gift I want to give and that too only when it is unsolicited and for some very close people.

No gift cards. And no cash/currency. Only a check.


Don't give checks. Unscrupulous people can set up direct payments for cars, insurance, etc using your routing and account number.
Anonymous
Post 11/03/2020 14:48     Subject: Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
OP here. Apparently I did not get my point across at all. He demands he get certain gifts and if the doesn't get THE gift he asked for (no one asked him), he has a temper tantrum. He texts "for Christmas I want this.... *insert fitbit*" I saw a deal for a cheaper version and sent it to him and said "look at this great deal for the cheaper version" and he said it was crap and he didn't want it. If you don't get that one thing he deemed appropriate, his Christmas is ruined. My father and I have a running joke about it but it's getting ridiculous now that he's 35.
Anonymous
Post 11/03/2020 14:44     Subject: Re:Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
Anonymous wrote:I suppose I am an adult who is also a “jerk” about gifts but let me explain.

1) my birthday is close to Christmas so I often get gifts lumped together or forgotten entirely.

2) I am not hard to buy for, I have very clear hobbies and tastes but people often buy me stupid things like a “Disney poster” in my case it was a stuffed animal as an adult or crap second rate items like a cheap Fitbit that just get sent to goodwill.

I will usually ask for exactly what I want and it still doesn’t work. Please just get me a Starbucks gift card and stop wasting your money.


My mom has a birthday on December 20 and gets lumped in with Christmas all the time. Total bummer.
Anonymous
Post 11/02/2020 22:26     Subject: Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My brother has always been terrible about getting presents. If you give him a video game he's played, he will tell you he beat it and toss it aside. One year I got him a Disney print to hang on his wall. I asked if he hung it and he said "his place is too small to hang anything". Every birthday he sends pictures of things he wants. He and his wife wanted fitbits last year and when I suggested a cheaper version, he said it was crap and wanted the better one.


So you get him a gift certificate that will pay for part of the fit bit, and specify “for Fitbit” on it.

While I question an adult sending pics of what he wants, at least he is making it clear what he wants. If you can facilitate that, do so.

I’m not a fan of adults asking for gifts at all, but I’m also not a fan of family giving people what they want, just because they want to give it. Sometimes, it’s better to not give gifts at all. Your brother is not gracious as a recipient, but you don’t sound like a great giver.


Pardon moi, I am an excellent gift giver. I am not a fan of getting unsolicited texts for expensive gifts though.


If this is the OP, then clearly you are not as good as you think. Other people are just lieing better. Just stop exchanging gifts with other adults. Trust me, it is the best gift you can give them.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2020 21:54     Subject: Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
I think it’s weird and rude to try to buy someone a knock off Fitbit. They aren’t even that expensive.

Of course it’s also rude to demand specific, expensive gifts but then again it’s not clear he’s demanding anything, but merely sharing a wishlist, apparently when prompted to.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2020 21:50     Subject: Re:Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
I suppose I am an adult who is also a “jerk” about gifts but let me explain.

1) my birthday is close to Christmas so I often get gifts lumped together or forgotten entirely.

2) I am not hard to buy for, I have very clear hobbies and tastes but people often buy me stupid things like a “Disney poster” in my case it was a stuffed animal as an adult or crap second rate items like a cheap Fitbit that just get sent to goodwill.

I will usually ask for exactly what I want and it still doesn’t work. Please just get me a Starbucks gift card and stop wasting your money.
Anonymous
Post 11/01/2020 15:05     Subject: Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
Anonymous wrote:If you cannot give a gift and let it go, it's not a gift, it's a manipulation. It is not your place to expect him to display a gift on his wall. I give gifts with a gift receipt if I don't just do gift cards. They are free to exchange for what they want. This is why as an adult I prefer not to do gift exchanges. Gifts with adults can be going to a restaurant together (non-Covid times), enjoying time together. Once you throw in material things exchanged some people's true crazy comes out. If your gift has any strings other than wanting to hear "thank you" then you should write them out and ask the person if they accept your strings.


Ok Emily.
Anonymous
Post 10/31/2020 08:42     Subject: Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
If you cannot give a gift and let it go, it's not a gift, it's a manipulation. It is not your place to expect him to display a gift on his wall. I give gifts with a gift receipt if I don't just do gift cards. They are free to exchange for what they want. This is why as an adult I prefer not to do gift exchanges. Gifts with adults can be going to a restaurant together (non-Covid times), enjoying time together. Once you throw in material things exchanged some people's true crazy comes out. If your gift has any strings other than wanting to hear "thank you" then you should write them out and ask the person if they accept your strings.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2020 14:15     Subject: Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Video games and Disney prints? Seriously?


These sound like presents for a 7 year old!


I agree but didn't want to be mean. I wouldn't want someone to buy me a Disney print and expect me to hang it in my house.


OP here. They love Disney and own a lot of art from Art of Disney. It was a very thoughtful and expensive gift.


We have two in our home. They are beautiful and are collector’s items. Your brother is an ingrate. Stop exchanging gifts with him.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2020 11:30     Subject: Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
If you buy a gift someone and they react like that, they're an ass. Plain and simple.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2020 10:26     Subject: Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Video games and Disney prints? Seriously?


These sound like presents for a 7 year old!


I agree but didn't want to be mean. I wouldn't want someone to buy me a Disney print and expect me to hang it in my house.


OP here. They love Disney and own a lot of art from Art of Disney. It was a very thoughtful and expensive gift.


Your brother is literally an adult living in a child's world that he's curated for himself, then, that's why he's acting like a child when he doesn't get what he wants.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2020 10:19     Subject: Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Video games and Disney prints? Seriously?


These sound like presents for a 7 year old!


I agree but didn't want to be mean. I wouldn't want someone to buy me a Disney print and expect me to hang it in my house.


OP here. They love Disney and own a lot of art from Art of Disney. It was a very thoughtful and expensive gift.


So they own a lot of Disney art, but, he says his place is too small to hang art?

You both seem pretty strange.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2020 09:59     Subject: Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My brother has always been terrible about getting presents. If you give him a video game he's played, he will tell you he beat it and toss it aside. One year I got him a Disney print to hang on his wall. I asked if he hung it and he said "his place is too small to hang anything". Every birthday he sends pictures of things he wants. He and his wife wanted fitbits last year and when I suggested a cheaper version, he said it was crap and wanted the better one.


So you get him a gift certificate that will pay for part of the fit bit, and specify “for Fitbit” on it.

While I question an adult sending pics of what he wants, at least he is making it clear what he wants. If you can facilitate that, do so.

I’m not a fan of adults asking for gifts at all, but I’m also not a fan of family giving people what they want, just because they want to give it. Sometimes, it’s better to not give gifts at all. Your brother is not gracious as a recipient, but you don’t sound like a great giver.


Pardon moi, I am an excellent gift giver. I am not a fan of getting unsolicited texts for expensive gifts though.


Actually, I agree with the PP. However, I think you should stop giving your brother presents. Problem solved.


I give what his wife suggests. Not sure where being a bad giver comes in.


Well it doesn’t, if you’re giving his wife gifts that she suggests.

Seriously people, even 4 year olds get to pick their own Christmas list. Is it a gift or is it a power play?


Why choose your own present? What's the fun in that?
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2020 09:58     Subject: Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Video games and Disney prints? Seriously?


These sound like presents for a 7 year old!


I agree but didn't want to be mean. I wouldn't want someone to buy me a Disney print and expect me to hang it in my house.


OP here. They love Disney and own a lot of art from Art of Disney. It was a very thoughtful and expensive gift.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2020 09:55     Subject: Anyone in your family who are jerks about gifts?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Video games and Disney prints? Seriously?


These sound like presents for a 7 year old!


I agree but didn't want to be mean. I wouldn't want someone to buy me a Disney print and expect me to hang it in my house.