Anonymous wrote:He sounds racist if you ask me. And he may not even realize it and has auto-pilot on.

This. It’s called “unconscious bias” or “implicit bias”.

OP, welcome to the world of non-white folks. We have to deal with this type of crap all the time.

Have you ever brought it up? Do you get taken seriously because many Asians I know don't get taken seriously if they raise things like this.

I am Asian. I have been racially harassed by Black and White people. Makes no difference who does it. It hurts equally.

Anonymous wrote:I showed BIL this thread and he wanted to say thanks to everyone. This is all new for him. He's a very good dad but just not experienced in this realm so if he is messing up he is sorry. He has a question I did not think about. Would your answers change if the coach were also a minority (not Asian)?

No, absolutely not. Just because you are a minority, doesn't mean that you shouldn't be held accountable for racism or prejudice (that old saw that racism = prejudice + power).

It sounds like your BIL is doing his best, but he should definitely speak up. Racism against Asian Americans is insidious because it's perpetually denied.

Sports bring out the macho and the testosterone and tries to make OK things that just aren't. I've heard abusive language directed at kids by coaches, too, and everyone acts like it's OK. It's toxic and crazy.

Anonymous wrote:I showed BIL this thread and he wanted to say thanks to everyone. This is all new for him. He's a very good dad but just not experienced in this realm so if he is messing up he is sorry. He has a question I did not think about. Would your answers change if the coach were also a minority (not Asian)?

No.

I showed BIL this thread and he wanted to say thanks to everyone. This is all new for him. He's a very good dad but just not experienced in this realm so if he is messing up he is sorry. He has a question I did not think about. Would your answers change if the coach were also a minority (not Asian)?

Yes, Asian Americans experience discrimination in the US. Yes, your BIL should say something and teach his son how to say something too because it will continue to happen.

Signed, adopted Asian American person

Anonymous wrote:Where are they playing travel basketball outdoors?

They aren’t. OP is just trying to avoid judgment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BIL says he's never seen this coach mock other kids, or tease them. Just this one child.

And he is just wondering if he should say something? For God's sake, of course he needs to say something. Fight for your kid, for Pete's sake.

And your BIL had better start learning quickly about racism before the child is subjected further.

THIS.

No, the child should not have to go up to his HS coach to address the racism towards him solo. He is a kid, the man is his coach and in HS that could mean bench time rather than anything constructive. Your brother needs to be all over this leading the way for his child to know it's okay to stand up to racists.

There is a LOT of microaggressions towards Asians, most people would never notice unless their Asian. On top of that, usually when an Asian speaks about the bias or microaggressions they've dealt with, people will always doubt them first. Tell them they took it the wrong way, that they must have did something wrong first or that what the experienced was not really what they experienced and had nothing do with them being Asian.

It's even in some of the posts here, like that one that says the mocking needed to be described, as if any type of mocking is okay or that you might have misinterpreted what you saw.

Tell your brother to step up and let your nephew know that you see it, it's not in his head and it's not okay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think BIL should say something to the coach. "I noticed you imitating my son shooting a basket, and it made me a little uncomfortable, almost like you were mocking him. I may be misinterpreting what I saw, but I thought I should say something to you." Use a non-accusatory tone. It allows the coach to deny ill-intent but puts him on notice that it's been observed and is not okay. Coach may not even realize what he's doing or how it appears.

+1

+1 the coach should know parents are watching him and will speak up.

This definitely needs to be raised with the coach. If he denies doing it, BIL can show Coach the film. If he’s doing this to BIL’s kid, then he’s doing it to other kids of other races, too. We’ve seen this happen and coaches have been called out for it. It’s NOT ok.

Anonymous wrote:I think BIL should say something to the coach. "I noticed you imitating my son shooting a basket, and it made me a little uncomfortable, almost like you were mocking him. I may be misinterpreting what I saw, but I thought I should say something to you." Use a non-accusatory tone. It allows the coach to deny ill-intent but puts him on notice that it's been observed and is not okay. Coach may not even realize what he's doing or how it appears.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are they playing travel basketball outdoors?

um, they're playing indoors at St. James right now?

um, how does that answer her question?

Microaggressions. Remember that commentators called Jeremy Lin "deceptively" athletic.

He sounds racist if you ask me. And he may not even realize it and has auto-pilot on.